I got 5 on it

Last night scratched off another legendary group from the still need to see list. Pete Rock and CL Smooth. They are best known for the classic T.R.O.Y., but they have plenty of other classic songs. Also Pete Rock is a legendary producer- not a legendary MC, we could live without his attempt to rap, kind of like I should live without my attempt to write- but anyways, A member of the group LMNO was right in front of us during the show and like my cousin pointed out, he was so blazed it was like he was sleepwalking. His eyes were basically closed and he could have been mistaken for a zombie. As if he had smoked the Frankenstein weed from Grandma's boy. The show was the end to an action packed day which began with a trip to the gym, then some basketball by the beach ala king and duck, then my kid's school carnival, and finally the show. This had me on my feet or running around for the better part of 12 hours. Which made me decide to go ahead and be god like and take the 7th day off (today) to rest. While waiting for Pete and CL to come on the DJ played a nice playlist from back in the day. Why because the majority of the people at this concert would be around my age. I dragged my cousins along and they were joking on the way that they would most likely be the youngest people there. Which other than maybe a couple of other girls there, they might have been right. Anyways one of the songs that came on was, you guessed it this luniz joint (ha get it- yeah I'm a dork). Anyways it got me to thinking- I am a failed ganja, herb, or stick if you will, smoker. There are just too many reasons why I am. So I stay away. You wanna read about it?

Ok here we go. Please note for all you non smokers and Nancy Reagans, these stories are years old- we're talking high school times. Again this is one thing I have been retired from for a long ass time. I'm not smoking it and blowing it into my kids' faces nowadays...

First of all, it makes me pass out. Once while in PB it got passed to me and not wanting to spoil the puff puff pass flow, went and hit it. I was told not 15 minutes later I had gone to pass out in my buddy's room. Which he wouldn't had minded so much if his girlfriend hadn't been drunk and gone to go pass out herself and didn't realize she had been sleeping next to me until a few hours later... But more commonly would be the times friends would come over to my apartment, want to get blazed and watch a movie and I'd pass out 10 minutes into Anchor Man, the aforementioned grandma's boy, Old School... So its no fun when all I end up doing is going to sleep. Although the last special lady friend I had was all about it and supposedly there are strains that actually do the opposite. I find this hard to believe...

Second, on the occasions I don't pass out, it voids me of any rational eating restraints. Once back during the pizza hut days, we went to a friend's after work with like 6 pizzas. They decided to try whats called a bucket bong, which is a bucket fashioned to be used for smoking. Well after a few hits of that, I got hungry and proceeded to consume at least 3 of those pizzas by myself in about 10 minutes. 10 minutes later I would be leaning over the balcony puking it all up. I am pretty sure I was laughing the whole time while puking too, which leads me to the final reason;

I have a ridiculous and obnoxious laugh when I'm not higher than eagle nuts, so just imagine when I am. Once while hanging out with a friend- who is a frequent user- in OB, we were wrapping up a night of drinking by going to enjoy a burrito. Well while waiting for our order I notice something fall out of some dude's pocket. It turns out it was what I would guess a couple of grams or more of the green- I dunno when it comes to weed I don't know the measurements by eye. Anyways knowing my buddy is a fan I quickly pushed it with my foot towards me scooped it up and surprised him with it when the dude that had dropped it was gone. We then for some reason proceed to go to another buddy's house- we'll just call him "joe" for security reasons- so that they could enjoy my finding. Well they convince me to try it since I had been the one to find it so I went with it. Well this "Joe" character starts talking about how his roommates can't believe he hates Tiger Woods (this was pre finding out he had cheated on his wife, when it seemed he was just a good ol' fashion nerd) At one point his story goes to how they are watching a tournament and Tiger is winning and from nowhere his roommates' dad goes to "Joe"
"HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS GUY! REALLY HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS GUY?"
Obviously sometimes when you're stoned anything remotely funny is gonna trigger hardcore laughter. The way "Joe" had told the story with the culmination of him trying to impersonate a confused old man got me rolling. I didn't stop laughing at the top of my lungs for a solid ten to 15 minutes. My ridiculous and obnoxious laugh triggered them to start dying laughing. It woke up his room mates apparently. It was actually noted on the facebook when it occurred. "Joe" posted something to my wall about my laughter, I replied and his room mate ended up replying;
"That awful sound was his laughter? Me and (his special lady friend) thought it was some animal out in the wild that was dying..."

So for these reasons I find it best to stay away from this drug... Enjoy your Monday morning...