Hey Ladies Fans

So tonight I found myself in downtown at some bar called the Local. Not too bad a place. I had always driven by it and always wanted to check it out. They have a good beer special on Mondays if you like bud light, dollar off if you want the pricey stuff. I also noticed that Wednesdays is trivia night where they have 10 buck pitchers of most domestics and also of Dos Equis, so if anyone is ever down to watch the display that is me acting like I know every answer when I don't, let me know. They have a pretty good selection of local brews as well. I will need to stay away from Thursday as that night they have their stone pale ale special at 3 bucks a pint... I am practicing this whole moderation thing and tonight was a success. After 2 pints I switched to water, ate, saw that Tony Romo got injured and bailed. He was on my fantasy football team and the only reason I decided to go out was to check to see if he could bring me the glory. Nope.
Anyways as is always the case being downtown and close to Little Italy reminded me of this dating tale. It occurred not to long ago I wanna say in January. A friend from work and me were at this place called the blue foot on a Tuesday night and began talking to these ladies who were dressed like they had just gotten off of work. They were also apparently very intoxicated. Well one of them and me started to hit it off. Her name was Adrian. I refrained from what I can only assume was a tired Rocky reference of yelling out "Adrian" in an attempted Sylvester Stallone voice. We were talking shit to each other about the jobs we had, the music we listened to, and the beers we drank.Now I love me a good beer, but when the objective is to have more than a few,I prefer bud light-well cuz I'm always trying to watch my figure. haha no. its cuz its economical for me. Have you not noticed how much I drink? I would have been homeless a lot sooner by now if I always drank Hef or New Castle or Stone. She was also in disbelief that she had met someone named Roy. "Who's named Roy nowadays? thats like a dog's name- isn't their dog food named Roy's or something?" haha. There is I think-good one. She was also from Pennsylvania and when I mentioned I had been there a few times and liked it, that seemed to grab her attention. I also told her the PA story I just put up here on this blog and it went over well. The rest of her party kept trying to pull her away to call it a night but she was refusing for awhile. They would look at me disapprovingly even though I was only doing harmless small talk bullshit type banter. Anyways they finally succeeded but before she left (at this point she was wasted) she tells me I should get her number. How do I know she was wasted? Because I had already asked and gotten her number. As she was walking out she mentioned something about living in Little Italy and that we should meet up for a drink sometime closer to there. She also mentioned something about the Mexican Consulate, but at the time I really wasn't able to hear what she had said- I just assumed it being in Little Italy as well, that she was trying to say she lived by there. I remember I worked like 13 hours on Wednesday so I was too tired to call or text her and decided just to give her a call on Thursday. After calling her Thursday and talking for a bit we decide on Friday we should meet up for a drink at this place called Anthology. They usually also have live music so it was sounding like it would be a good time. I get there first and decide of course to have a quick drink before she arrived. She actually got there at the time she was said she was (not that thats important because I am usually always late). But as I go to greet her I can tell something has confused her. "Roy?"
"yeah, why do I somehow look different?"
" oh no, I was just making sure..."
I go ahead and ask her whats she's having and she orders a martini. We start to talking for a little bit and its going pretty much like Tuesday. Then she brings up what she had said about Mexican Consulate again. Turns out she was talking shit about all the fuckin mexicans who are always lined up in the morning and how they all are rude and never let her walk through on the way to work. She was lucky enough to work and live in Little Italy. She then starts pretty much going off on Mexicans and Mexico overall- its dirty, they're dirty, third world country... I just started laughing and shaking my head. Of course I would get a date with a bigot. She then realizes I am Mexican. She would later tell me when she saw me again she had hoped I was Italian or Middle Eastern and that she had been thrown off by the fact my name was Roy. Yeah, because all Mexicans are named either Jorge Juan or Felipe, I guess. Anyways I just start to laugh order her another round and tell her it had been a pleasure but that maybe we should cut our losses. She sheepishly smiled tried to pay for her own drinks, but at this point I wasn't even mad- I was impressed at this new dating folly so I just paid the tab and headed off to meet D at the Turf.

Either this was one of the most extremely rude ways to cut short a date on purpose or I now know why her friends had been giving me a disapproving look at the Blue Foot.


I'm not gonna talk about your background or your origins. Who am I kidding? Thats exactly what I'm gonna talk about...
This song came on the itunes today and I decided to post it for the Russians who for some reason- I'm its sure the excellent videos actually- keep checking this page out. I'm now concerned this is on some spies like us tip so if I ever go missing, try looking for me in St Petersburg...

Ill Mitch- Hey Ladies Fan. props to Sag for discovering this possibly Russian-most likely not- rapper.