Phonte - The Good Fight [prod. 9th Wonder]

Take a moment to read the title of this blog "Phonte- the good fight PRODUCED BY 9TH WONDER. When I first saw this it brought a smile to my face. Then I heard the track and it brought a tear to my eye. See they had broken up as the group called Little Brother and at times they had lashed out at each online with regards to the break up, I thought they may never work together again. I'm not even sure if they settled all their differences but friendship can and should withstand the tribulations of business or a work environment- if you are a true friend anyways. and so bam, they come out with this track. I didnt even need to see the liner notes to know. Anyways its a shame if you dont give this track a listen- seriously this goes beyond the usual "my music is better than yours" b.s. I preach...Legendary Adult Contemporary Hip Hop right here.  About a week after a friend hit me up with this album and its still all I'm listening to. Its been a solid couple of years that an album has done that. I got excited like a little kid at christmas and decided to share the link with some people.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a friends birthday party out here at an Irish Pub. Other than Issam, Del and Brandy I really didnt know anybody. But I'm me and you obviously have first hand knowledge of my greatness. So after everyone I actually knew left, I ended up hangin out with a couple of new people. Now the plan was to go only four rounds of jameson and pints. That number doubled and I had a fuzzy recollection of how I got home. I knew I had taken a cab with the people I had met up, and knowing me figured I may have said somethings to offend (you guys obviously know this about me too, haha) But having just met them I had no way to contact them to verify. So I shoot Mike a text asking if he had been in the cab and after he replied that he hadnt,I had to ask if he knew if/how badly I had offended his friends in the cab. I then just left it at that, and figured if something bad had transpired I would hear about it. But this last friday I meet up with everybody at some other local spot and bam the people I had taken a cab are there... I walk in and they immediately start laughing. One of the girls is from Nigeria, and I had apparently dubbed her team Africa, the cab driver I dubbed John Lennon, and I basically had made the cab ride home the highlight of the night. I of course had the Cab driver drive thru a mexican food place (and later a jack in the box, haha), but I also has to take a leak so I hop out of the cab and have this exchange with the cab driver;


" Alright John, I'm gonna go take a piss by that tree but you know what to tell them..."
" Um what should I be telling them?"
I give him a serious look and grab him by the shoulder to let him know of my seriousness I guess...
" Tell them that I went to take a piss and that you're Jesus Christ."
and apparently I just start dying laughing as I go take a piss and everyone in the cab is dying of laughter.

I guess another cab passenger was from North Korea...
" Oh you're from NORTH korea? I'll try not to piss you off so you don't blow us up..."
and after every ridiculous statement I made in the cab, I guess I would follow up with
"AM I Wrong! or Am I wrong!"
which on friday became the catch phrase for everyone... I'm a trendsetter out here. Met up with Ruben (the guy who let me know of this epic cab ride, which I guess was over an hour long), good solid guy. He let me know that it felt good to laugh so hard after such a shitty week at work. Thats what the weekends are for.

Friday night another buddy ended up having to crash at my apt and after I got back to my apartment saturday morning from opening up the office for the contractors, was already awake and states to me;

" Man I woke up not knowing where I was, without a car, and my phone is dead..."

"haha man thats been my typical weekend morning since I moved to phoenix..."

Saturday I hit up Chandler for the first time to go to this octoberfest, but had to wake up at 6am to get back to the office to let some other contractors in at the office. Met up with some more new cool people while they were being hounded by some not so lovely cougars.
" Roy your mission right now if you choose to accept it,  is to disengage us from these women..."
was the first thing said to me after our introductions.
"Roy whats the first thing that comes to mind if I introduce myself as Everado?"
" unicorns frolicking in a desert landscape with rainbows shooting out?"
which I believe I also put on one of the postcards I mailed out a couple of weeks ago- I still cant believe there are no unicorns in Arizona...

True to form, I woke up at Issam's this morning and got droppped off at Zipps where my car was. My phone is still alive though. Another excellent Arizona weekend. Enjoy your Monday.

Molemen ft. Brother Ali - Life Sentence

Really quick before going back to the regularly scheduled program- just have to write this part up for me feel free to skip a paragraph or so if I so choose to use paragraphs...

I am taking the fact that my boss will call me at 9:30 at night to ask me questions as a good sign of him knowing I know my shit- sure its late, and lucky for me I have learned not to drink the normal roy ridiculous amount or at all actually during the week to handle these calls. Its like I'm currently on call all the time so I know better, plus while I have in the past knocked back a few and still went to the gym, played basketball, gone hiking, etc... its obviously less work to do at the gym if I havent. So here I am getting ready to watch me some Tosh.O when the phone rings last night. Damn it. alright. For those that don't know, last week I was working on obtaining information and setting up our company's compliance reports-talking hot action insurance shit here guys, haha- but on one of them I sent out a distress signal since I had no clue about it.

Alright sorry about that- I know what I wrote in my last blog but I had to spill that out plus I find it amusing so should you...

Last weekend was a good one; Friday was low key which was perfect because after painting a 1600 square foot building, Saturday was ridiculous. Headed to the Tilted Kilt to watch the Ortiz v Mayweather  fight... One last word here on that really quick so as to try to not upset the mayweather fan base- What Ortiz did was retarded and illegal, what Mayweather did was Lame but Legal. No getting around that. Mayweather could have easily won the fight without doing that. I just don't think you all would be yelling the protect yourself at all times theory if Mayweather (you're gonna respond with Mayweather would never not protect himself, blah blah blah) had been knocked out like that-please don't act like you would have. I know I would be saying the same thing if that had happened- that thats not a way to win a championship...

After the fight however, the night kept going- I of course have started talking about how awesome I am again, well because its true. That part had gone missing for a while I know, because well part of that comes from my productivity in my career


" You really do think you're awesome."
" Well put it this way; God is here. (hand motion for added effect) I'm up here..."

The only blemish on this weekend was the Charger loss, which I don't handle well.

"I'm not gonna lie Del don't know if we can come back from that half time deficit..."
"I'm not gonna lie Del don't know if there is a greater quaterback than Phillip Rivers..."
"I'm not gonna lie Del don't know if there is a better receiver than Vincent Jackson..."
haha that was about 3 of the 1000 or so statements I started of with "I'm not gonna lie Del..."

After the loss I only had my bud light shirt I had gotten for free and a couple of H n Rs to console me. This week's game doesnt matter much because they play the lowly chiefs. I'm tired of basic wins I want glorious ones against teams like the Patriots, playoff games and superbowl wins...

On another front I'm going to a meeting today and I don't know what to expect, but if nothing else it should be entertaining I guess or so I hear. Shit maybe I will learn something...

Enjoy the rest of your week- VP of claims just called and I need to go pick up some razors to clean up the windows, telling you all this shit is really from the ground up literally...

The Ecology

Over the last few weeks, I have been a man of many trades; plumber, floorer, painter, marketing genius, underwriter, security guard, project manager... etc. I have climbed peaks, ascended mountains,  been a jet setter, hiked the arid arizona desert, outwitted mvds, held my own with men of law,  had my way with stripper quality talent, discovered a fantastic cab secret, come to terms with feelings most of which deal with the fact that without a grill I have no love for cooking, and other more distant ones, eaten cereal for dinner on a few occasions, and have only drank 1 beer(well at my apartment at least). But most importantly, is that its been more than 2 weeks since I have dipped. Dont get me wrong, after tonights meal I instantly thought about putting  some in and enjoying, but then I realized how long it had been and that I'm currently out. And the thought faded. One bad habit at a time I say.

I get my first official check tomorrow as the greatest underwriting manager that ever graced this green pasture called earth, and I must say that I have fully earned it. Especially today-christ it took me a few reads to figure out what the hell I needed to be reporting to the good ol' federal government and only a few moments afterward to realize I needed to hire someone from the outside to do it for me.

But this blog is supposed to be about my glorious drinking ability or my failing attempts to stop for awhile, or about my lament of not having a job, or about silly dreams,  or ridiculous verses,  and not boring you all with lame stories of an actual job. you all have your own, obviously more boring, and presumably more dead end, jobs than mine, so why go into the details of that? I mean I write this so you can escape your work day for a bit and imagine how awesome life would be as me or how thankful you are that you're not me (but lets be honest more of the former than the latter). And honestly it would come off as me showing off and if you really really know me, you know I hate to be in the spotlight-which is different that not wanting to be in your every waking thoughts. No, you all should always be thinking, talking, and hoping to hang out with me- but I dont want to be the center of the conversation when I'm around. When I'm around you all should just sit back and enjoy the presence that is me. The people of phoenix I'm sure rejoice in the fact that they now have the opportunity for that to occur daily, mostly on weekends. San Diegans and Los angelenos your time will come soon again although at this point I'm not sure when so until then take comfort in my hand written prose that is mailed via the greatest postal service this world has ever seen- if only because it handles my mail of course.

So I guess I'm trying to bring this blog back full circle-yeah it diverted to standard boring drivel at times, but you know what? I kind of blame it on you. In the beginning it tended to be about outings with you all, which were epic, and all of the sudden some of you got all responsible and shit. which left this blog with not much to report on. I'm not saying go streaking wearing your bras on your head (although I'm not saying not to-some of you all I wouldnt mind seeing like that), but christ, rage against the dying of the light! Start hanging out again instead of being lame-os Alright fine some of you are now higher ups and some of you have become parents. That leaves me to fend for myself again and report on my outings. Which really take awhile because I have to ask;
1. what happened?
2. did/who did I offend?
3. In what way should I apologize?
3. how did I get home?
4. where is my car?
5. what did that guy say about pheremones?

(I have two #3 because I really wanted to have only 5 questions and hope the visual fools you.)

I seriously need to just finally go through Brian's idea and have a camera crew following me around. Save me the effort and the typing.

I leave you with this trivia question about me that really should be on Jeopardy but it will have to suffice for here;
Name the first 3 things that I placed in my fridge. One will throw you off as you'd ask yourself how the hell its made.
Double jeopardy points if you know the brands.


Fashawn- The Ecology- another less than 3 minute banger that should be longer. No you've never heard of him, yes you should like him, if you don't I don't know go back to bitching about t.i. and lil wayne and how there is no good rap even though I've been slapping you in the face with it for over a year now.

Nasty Filthy

Really quick I forgot to mention the other day that I have already alienated my neighbor with my urban music. I came home the other day and did the usual- turned on the itunes and played some music. Not loud mind you because I know better than to start off on the wrong foot with my new neighbors. Turns out it was still too loud for my neighbor and she came over, complained about the base and before I even got a chance to introduce myself, she turned around and walked away. Very bitchy like.

conversation from yesterday;
Marketing manager to me;

" you know why Vic is starting up this insurance company? Like his sole motivation for doing it seriously? Because you know he already has enough money to live comfortably..."

" No, why?"

"Because he wants to own an NFL team."

Vic interrupts;
" Not just any NFL team- I want to buy the Chargers."
I start smiling, because he is dead serious. My reply?
" Well hell as long as you keep them in San Diego or bring them back to San Diego by the time you buy them, I'll be ok with that"
"Deal. And every home game all of us are gonna be BBQing on the field. Why? cause I'll be the owner and I'll do whatever I want. TV shots of us eating and doing shots..."

Oh if and I asked for your address, you have just been enrolled in one of the greatest Multi Level Marketing schemes ever! just make your checks payable to me when you get the bill, and I'll take care of the rest. Easy money. I promise. Haha just kidding. I am trying to keep the USPS from defaulting- hope you enjoy them.

I Don't Know

Really quick before I finally start unpacking; Job wise, I am seeing exactly how much responsibility I have with this new company, and I'm actually handling it ok so far. Its not like my first assignment as a trainer at Geico when I had to train all the new supervisors from Tucson on State Regs and underwriting procedures. I was scared shitless. So much so that an hour before I was to start the training session, you could find me in a bathroom stall trying to handle a mini panic attack. I was only 25 at the time about to train supervisors who were older and more experienced in insurance than me. It took a few texts from my friend Amanda, it went something like this;
" where are you?"
" just in the bathroom freaking out- hows your day going?"
" listen stop being a dweeb- we talked about this last night. you'll see these morons don't know half of what you do"
" yeah well dont know about that"
"dont make me go into the men's bathroom to get you! Having to deal with the women's bathroom is bad enough- I can only imagine the horrors of your bathrooms..."
She ended up not having to.8 years later its good to know that I'm far removed from wanting to go hide in the bathroom (plus its not even finished in the new building yet, haha). I ended up coming out a little bit after that and handled business (please see previous blogs where I explain how I am the Michael Jordan of auto ins underwriting- really there is no one even Scottie Pippen close). Even so, I always want to learn more about my industry. Friday, I sat in with our claims consultant to go over the claims process in AZ. My boss liked the fact I sat in even though its not my department- I told him I needed to know every aspect of claims and sales since my department is going to be handling issues from both of them.
In speaking with my owners (and going out with them on Friday night- good times and I behaved myself- I limited my drinks, although in thinking about it, the drinks I did consume were still more than the average person, hmm I wonder what they thought. haha They paid for everything, dinner, drinks, the entertainment hahaha, The entertainment! I can't go into details on that but let me just say they know how to have a good time.) I am finding out these are overall good guys- the business decisions we are going to have to make are pure business decisions; not personal ones. Friday one of the owners was flying back from a quick meeting in Missouri. He was  seated in first class when a couple of injured army guys were walking back heading to coach. He decided to switch seats with one of them and convinced the person sitting next to him to give up his seat to the other soldier. Turns out they had been injured in Afghanistan and were heading home to Phoenix. Yeah not a major thing, but still thoughtful and give some insight into the type of guy he is. The other owner used to also own a cold stone creamery and his manager would hate it when he came in. Not cuz he was an asshole but because every time he came in he would fuck up the inventory number by handing out free ice cream to all the little kids that walked in. So so far,  everything points to this being a really great opportunity with some good people. Again some decisions they make are gonna be tough to take because I am very consumer oriented, but at least I know its stemming purely from a business side.

What else? hmm. and yes I am delaying unpacking, even though its not much. Oh yeah this morning, I went shooting for the first time. Shot a Shotgun and a AR-15 for the first time. Although I had to admit to Del and Issam that it was a little disconcerting being around so many people with guns. Could just imagine someone deciding to go ape shit and try to shoot up everybody there. Need to see if an AR-15 is in call of duty so I can tell Lil D I shot it. I wasnt going to, but they were insistent and Clint's assertion that the gun doesnt bite got me to step up. After a quick tutorial on the rifle, I was aiming at a target and squeezing on a trigger. It was cool but you wont see me heading to the gun shop to buy a weapon anytime soon or ever. The shotgun course was more sporty and fun; we were shooting at those clay things- reminded me of duck hunt. I did ok on that I guess; hit a few of them...

 I Don't Know by Input- you've never heard of him. I hadn't until yesterday; I love just checking out random unknowns music to check them out. All the bullshit about drinking and the lameness that was 2010 that I tried to write, he did it on this track. Firms my belief that everyone has one good song in them.

"feel free to condemn my actions openly, I figure by this afternoon you'll easily be over me..."

"I would like to thank the people close to me for understanding the definition of lost and the synonyms for damaged; I would like to thank myself for all my problems tip another glass and let the alcoholic solve them..."

Enjoy the rest of your Labor Day weekend! if I could I'd be enjoying it with you.