talib kweli & hi tek - Memories Live - Reflection Eternal

" In my lifetime aint too many things better than watching you first son put his sentences together..."  Talib Kweli and Hi Tek = reflection eternal
Train of Thought = one of the best albums ever. In all of music. Stakes is high status. This song just forces you to be nostalgic besides the fact that the sample verse says "bringing back sweet memories"...
Had myself a jam packed day yesterday. After working out I showered up and headed to the Zoo. I am a fan of animals, pets not so much. I rather go see them say what up and then get to go home without the extra chore of picking up after one. How do you go to the zoo by yourself without looking like a complete weirdo? You constantly keep moving. Have earphones on. That way it just always looks like you're a disinterested dad who got lost from the rest of the family. I also go because the San Diego Zoo for all that have actually never been there, is located in a canyon. As such it has a lot of hills. So I went there to get some more exercise action but without the dull gym view.
After that, I decided to skip Balboa Park because I actually spent more time at the zoo than planned. Went straight to Old Town. Had some soup and some margaritas. To prevent scurvy of course. While there another patron who only ordered soda water began talking about the mud run and basically made it out to be the hardest thing ever. Damn and there I am having 4 margaritas. Anyways I get the almost daily text to go play poker- I figure sure why not, but its only like 5 and the game wont start till 9. Hmm what to do? So I text Hugo to go play tonight as well except he has a better plan. Hit up the Padre game. Having not made it to the amount of Padre games I wanted to this year, and needing time to kill I say sure why not. So I planned to meet them at Lolitas which is right next to the Stadium. Place is a mad house Literally no place to sit, stand and drink a beer. The line like usual is out the door. Because the burritos there are rather extraordinary. Happy Hour is also very nice. It was so packed I couldnt even get to the bar, so I just stood in the food line to go ahead and place my beverage order. I was also contemplating eating, but thats for people that aren't on the chew and water and beer diet. So I order 2 pints because I didnt want to wait in line again and head off to find a spot to squeeze into. There was a table with 3 asian padre fans and one corner of their table wasn't being used so I asked if it would be ok to put down one of my pints to enjoy the other one. They had no problem with it. Just then I get a text from Hugo and he tells me I should buy the tickets now so that we dont have to wait in the longer line that forms closer to game time. Damn alright. So I down the pint in my hand grab the other pint down that one, tell the guys who let me use space at their table thanks and head out to buy the tickets. After I purchased the tickets and with the Gonzalez still no where in sight, I figure what the hell I'll get two more before the game so I won't have to pay the 9 dollar beer price in the stadium. So I order two more pints and the same guys are still at the table. Haha turns out they had been very impressed at how I had finished my first round. I just laugh and said I had to go buy tickets so I needed to be that quick. They were still finishing up their beers from when before I got there the first time. The drinks don't drink themselves. By the way this weekend is the 2 year anniversary of that quote. Will need to drink to that sometime this weekend.
Anyways after seeing the Padres had surely secured the victory, I headed out to play some poker. Turns out I had been playing with some guy named Roger for a while without realizing it was the same Roger Jake, Danny C, a couple of other guys and me tormented one year during summer school. Relentless. He is a nice guy but he was just one of those guys that was easy to mess with. I would like to say I don't remember doing anything to the guy- he actually paid me to take his Algebra final for him. Actually like 6 or 7 people paid me. Basically how it played out was that our teacher was a dumb ass and would busy himself doing other things during the final so once I finished my own, I just switched my final with whoever paid me. They would pretend to work on mine and I would go ahead and finish up theirs, make some corrections leave some intentionally wrong so to avoid suspicion. After I was done with theirs we would switch back and I would go to the next person who wanted to pay for this service. Made out like a bandit, made some athletes remain eligible so it was a win win.

Yesterday I wrote about wondering about my family in Veracruz. Then when I got home last night... Bam! friend requests from 3 of my cousins down there. Made my day even better.

Soul Amazin' (Steel Blazin')

The issues that have caused me to be unable to sleep, drink more than I should, not eat, and have made me more silent than ever;

- The house is gone, foreclosed. We are out of here in December. This has been my moms house since 1989 and feel nothing short of a failure. It was why I moved back in for. My mom is all situated where she will go, but not me.
- Kids have no health insurance right now.
-Apparently I received some bad tax advice back in 2008 and 2009. Now I am having to deal with that.
-Old company didnt flat cancel my COBRA when they sent me revised numbers (like usual they had messed up on the first set of prices) Now they want to charge me for the months I supposedly was on it.
- The ex advised me she is gonna get full custody and is thinking about moving up north
- other family members plights- Including family in Veracruz and in Tabasco. Haven't spoken with my dad's side of the family since 2004 and wonder what is going on. Don't even know if my grandma is still alive.

- My unemployment benefits ran out. and didnt hear until very recently that I had been approved for an extension.
- My credit- this foreclosure thing has really given my credit a beating. A solid UFC type ground and pound. Like not even an ankle lock or arm bar submission type of win- a real ass kicking.And there's nothing like those freakin commercials to remind me.
- Unemployed since February 22. Longest stretch since I was 16 I haven't had a job. Quick run down of all the places I have worked; K-mart (16), Pizza Hut (16-20), Kenyon Construction (18), Mobil (18-20), the Wherehouse (20-23), GEICO (21-27), Anchor General (27-31). And I also spent time working for De La Cruz Structural Steel.

The things that have me getting up after a restless night,smiling, and still appreciating life;

- I don't live in Somalia, Iraq, Liberia, Rwanda....
- The daily suicide checks from Brandon. they always start with " You still alive? why?" Haha Known this guy since 5th grade and he is one of the most blunt and forward, doesnt give a rats ass if you don't like what he says people. But he calls me daily to talk a little shit, give me some backhanded compliments on my life, and throws in some words of encouragement.
- throughout this I have managed to get into some sort of shape- met with the ex for the first time in a few months and can't remember any time when we were married she threw a compliment my way. but she did manage a " you look like you're kinda of losing some weight..." ha!
- The music I listen to- always there for me when no one else can be.
- This site, for all you that read it even knowing full well it will have some depressing ass shit, thanks. But more importantly its been a release to get shit out of my mind, remind me of good times had with good people. If you have ever been involved in one of the outings that make this blog, I thank you for having hung out and put up with me. I reread all of these myself, not because of the excellent writing, music or hilarity I manage to describe, but because it reminds me of all you all.
- My kids. Danny on Saturday while I was making dinner comes up to me and tells me that while I was busy cooking and that by the way he appreciated that I was making a good dinner, lets me know that he has organized and cleaned up the TV room. It has been where I am organizing all my cds and frankly it was in disarray. he took the time to clean it up on his own. While many parents claim it, well I'll just say my kids are in the top percent of greatest kids on this planet.
-The world, no matter how bad and exaggerated  my mind may make this all out to be, there are other people out there that have it much much worse. some don't eat cuz they don't have food, some don't sleep because they don't have a place to sleep. It's not a "thank god I'm not them" feeling- its more a what you're going through isn't "that bad in the grand scheme of things" feeling
- Me, cuz throughout all of this I still consider myself one Bad Ass Mother fucker. There are just lapses sometimes.

So (ul) Amazing (Steel Blazing)- by Blu and Exile. Leo actually found them on myspace one day trying to find some music. very impressive album.

The Listening

So I am on a council at my kids' school that decides how funds are spent. I have been on this council since 2006. I am the youngest, only minority, and only male parent on this council. And it being Santee about the only non conservative. I decided to run for the position back in 2006 just to see how the school was spending its budget. I won the seat really only because they needed a minority in the council. Fine with me. I have ended up having to actually speak up on some of the bullshit other members of the council were trying to introduce. Previously other council members have wanted money spent on banning text books that stated marriage was between two people not just a man and woman. That a family could be made up of two same sex couples and their kids. I was the one of 2 people that were against this waste of money. There was also the time when somebody wanted to block a single stall unisex bathroom, because they felt it was just approving the homosexual lifestyle. Again this had nothing to do with what our council was about. But I had to explain that maybe some kids aren't just yet comfortable with multiple stalls and going to the restroom with other people in the bathroom. Maybe that was a reason for having a single stall one. The one thing that passed that I wasnt happy about was the replacing of P. E. with ball room dancing for some grade groups. I just felt it was a waste of money and with kids exercising less and less, P.E. has become the only time some of these kids do. Whatever. Yesterday we were going over the budget. We don't exactly get to come up with the budget- the principal comes up with it and basically just wants us to approve her decisions. The G.A.T.E. program is usually allocated around 15,000 dollars from the State of California that in the past could only be spent on G.A.T.E. Well due to the budget problems of the State, they relaxed that rule this year and said that money could be spent on anything. So the Principal decided cut the GATE budget down to... $2000. Now I understand that the schools and their budgets have taken a huge hit and yeah maybe some of the GATE funds should be spread around a little- but 86% of it? And the main place where this extra money is going? Printing costs. The principal speaks about the need to lower printing cost and duplication all while handing the 15 or so people there about 15 pages of stuff she printed out. We don't need any of this. We are in a room that has the capability to have a computer screen projected for all to see. Except she is not computer savvy to get it done. Will that solve the printing cost issue? No. But I can imagine the waste that is going on by the staff of this school. Anyways I also like during these meetings when test scores are presented. I love the excuses or shifts in conversation that occur when the faculty present some of the lower test scores. 

"But if you look back 3 years ago, we really freakin sucked. now we still suck, but just a little less." 

"Yeah they aren't where they should be but look at the other schools in our district they scored lower than us..." 

And other things like that. So yesterday The principal brings about a vote to allot a big chunk of the budget to a literary support position. No real explanation of what the person in this position would actually be doing, who it would be, why it was necessary. So I asked for a written description of the job duties and qualifications for the position. There wasn't one. She just explains what they were hopefully gonna be doing and who hopefully would be doing it. I dunno I just thought that if you were gonna try to hire for a position, you would already have a written description and the qualifications for the position all set to go so that people could apply. Just saying...

Last time I found myself unemployed was in 2006. I was just burned out by being at GEICO. There had been a couple of supervisors that I had managed to alienate and they were making it hell for me. I was young and immature so I know this was mostly on me. I wasn't conforming real well to their expectations and having already been told a year prior by the director of underwriting that I had blown my shot at ever being a supervisor in the underwriting department, I stopped giving a shit. But the supervisors who hate me did suck. It was all about favoritism that I had tried to point out on multiple occasions but since it was me, no one cared. Well both of the supervisors that pretty much caused me to quit ended up getting fired. So at least they finally opened their eyes. One a couple of years later actually applied to Anchor General while I was running the underwriting department there- I seriously almost thought about calling her up for an interview, not to be malicious but to give her a second chance. I knew she had just been fired and I knew she had just bought a house. I also knew she knew her shit even though she had been the opposite of cool with me. I was thinking maybe since I wouldnt be an a-hole to her and would actually be fair to her, this could work. So I go into my boss' office and explain the situation. Tell her the past history I had with her ( I actually demoted myself at geico from a lead/trainer position after repeated attempts of me to hash out issues between her and me, in HR failed. My concerns just fell on deaf ears) I would be comfortable and that this person would actually benefit the company. My boss decided against it. I don't exactly remember the conversation but it was something along the lines that I shouldnt be taking pity on someone who had treated me the way she had. I  think this should have been one of my first clues of how my boss operated...  Anyways it was May of 2006. I was gonna go on about My PA trip, my interview with Nationwide, and the ridiculous events that followed such a poor interview. but I hate sitting here typing away during the day. I actually slept last night for more than 4 hours for the first time in weeks and feel rested.

The Listening by Little Brother- I'm on a mini LB kick right now...

Keep Livin'

I really enjoy spending time at Hugo's house. The atmosphere there is relaxing and really takes stress from the mind. They have a  huge backyard that is perfect for get togethers- the kind I hope to one day have myself. Yeah maybe I should already have it by now but whatever. They also have a huge pool which is perfect for the kids to go swimming on scorching days such as these. There is a calmness there where you can chill and drink on a slower pace, have good conversation and let the day pass you by. These are the times where I am at my best. Tonight's conversation revolved around Hugo's dad's and uncle's trip to Argentina not too long ago. They went for New Year's. They spoke about the cheapness of good food and good wine. About the neighborhoods to avoid and about the advice when traveling in such areas.
" If you walk there at night with a camera, don't worry about losing your camera, worry about losing your wife..."
" But my camera is expensive..." haha
we also talked about the italian influence south america has and how people from there kind of talk with an Italian accent...
" Olvidartelooo" haha
Argentina is on my places I need to visit before I die or else I'm gonna haunt the fuck outta somebody list. Anyways it was good to get out there after watching both the Chargers and Padres both lose. We were also waiting for the premiere of... Eastbound and Down. Excellent show. Hugo was recording it from  eastern HBO so it was perfect. I could watch it and still have the kids back at home in time for their bed time. Seeing as I am only getting them every other weekend now I relax on the 9 oclock bedtime I am supposed to impose. I let them go until 10. I despise the fact that I can't do the things I am used to doing with them. We were hardly ever home when I had them before- it was always either the zoo, wild animal park, sea world, out and about around old town, point loma- anywhere but sitting at home and just walking down to the park. I am hoping that they can stick with the memories of where we have gone- the countless disneyland trips, LA trips, the trip to San Francisco, until I can get back up from this fall. Honestly I think it was a mistake for me to let them stop coming over every other week. It left me with too much time by myself. I'm not good by myself, Hence all the outings, waking up in random places, beds, couches- with some of the most random people sometimes. I remember once I went to this party in Monterey that a co worker from the wherehouse had invited me too.  Man he was really into house music, so much so that when I moved away I gave him my vinyl collection. Anyways as the party was winding down this guy and girl who didnt live in Monterey but in Marina- a good 20 minutes away couldnt get a ride back. So what the hell I offered. They in turn said they would make some food and they had some beer and that they would treat me for being such a cool person. I had not even spoken with them during the night, had never met them, but not wanting to go back to my shoe size apartment to be alone, I offered the ride. Lot of people there for some reason don't have their own vehicles. So anyways there we are in the front of their apartment grilling steaks at 2 in the morning. After a few beers I come to find out the guy has just gotten out of prison. awesome. The girl he had just met recently and had no place to live so he offered to house her. sweet. She goes off to bed and he begins to tell me his prison stories, why he was in jail (drug dealing), and how much of an ass kicker he was. I at this point am regretting the decision to have given them a ride. Now I am not small in stature but we're talking about a man who had seen shankings in prison (or so he had told me) so I begin to concoct this story of my own run in with the law. This was pre Pennsylvania, pre PB outings- so I really didnt have any other than traffic stops. But I manage to come up about a time when I was in Brooklyn in New York staying with some cousins and how a friend of theirs asked me to do him a favor. I was to deliver a package via subway to some house and in return I would get paid a nice chunk of change. So I say that I agreed but that police stopped me in the subway as I was about to board and sensing problems I tossed the "package" the police see me doing it but can never find what I tossed. They take me to the precinct anyways to question me (as you can see I am not a good liar and or story teller) after 2 hours of asking me who I was working for what I had thrown and not being able to find it ( I add that some bum or something must have found it and made off with it) they had to let me go. I then think of the trouble I am going to get with my cousin's friend for not delivering the package and decide I should call him from the precinct to have it as verification that I got picked up. I ended the story with the guy saying I owed him money and me not having it bailed a couple of days later back home and that I was living in Monterey because they all they knew is that I lived in southern california. After a few seconds where I'm wondering if this guy believed this shit (god knows I wouldnt have). he just replies "Hardcore man I would have done the same thing." I take this as my queue to leave dismissing his insistence that I should hang out smoke some herb and play video games. Don't remember his name and I dont remember ever giving mine.

Again I am not good at being by myself.

Keep livin from Jean Grae cuz like her right now I'm not lovin life- just livin it.

For You

So yesterday I met up with a couple of ex co workers. I was relieved that it turned out only to be a couple of cats and their friends. Don't know I guess I am over having to explain what happened.  Anyways we hit up this place called Maria Maria's. I guess its owned by Carlos Santana or something. It in the Mission Valley part of San Diego. At first as Carlos and I were walking up to the place, it looked too pompous a place to drink for a happy hour. But it turned out they have a big list of margaritas and on thursdays they are all half off. Its actually a pretty cool set up with a huge patio, and the bar is pretty open space wise. After a few drinks at the bar we decided to go sit outside by the fire pit and take in some of the live music they had going on. It was just some guy and his guitar do some pretty bad versions of beatles and sublime songs. Sometimes a lady would get up and do her own hatchet job on other "classics". Anyways Carlos and Waldo start talking up running and trails to hike including this one somewhere around palm springs that leads up to San Jacinto and Carlos talks about how at the end of the hike there is a bar. Now that sounds like a trail I'd like to take on.

Did I mention that the margaritas were half off?

So the happy hour turns into a " we should eat dinner so that we can drive home" event. Carlos' special lady friend and one of her friends show up for dinner and us four separated from the group and found a table. You ever been around someone who just has no tact? It is incredibly amusing. Even though I felt bad for the waitress I just couldn't stop it from continuing. Judy or Junelee? was never quite sure of her name- loud atmosphere + 7 margaritas = Roy's lost hearing. Anyways just the way she went about ordering, asking for items, asking for the menu to be brought back, was highly entertaining. Blunt and forward.  And I would later find out, she can drink. After some fun conversation, she decides she wants to keep the party going and mentions that she knows where there is a 3 dollar vodka night. My spider senses begin tingling- this might be trouble. Turns out it was this bar in North Park called True North- weekend dooshery but for 3 dollar vodka night I was willing to go along for the ride on this Thursday. Now don't get me wrong the layout of the place is actually pretty cool- its just the clientele that wants to make it the Dooshy place of North Park. I begin to wonder if my attire will even get me in. I was just planning on happy hour at some mexican restaurant so I rocked the normal shirt, shorts, flip flop attire. haha " who is Smores? is he handing him a smore? Is he yur best friend? did you draw that yourself? I want smores now"
" No Judy/Junelee- he is a rapper- Murs. and I don't own my own silk screen equipment the shirt came this way."
Anyways I am the first to get in line for this place and of course everyone in front of me is all dressed up- but I guess i am just that cool where I can be the only guy in flip flops and shorts that gets let into to the sea of Ed Hardy shirts, oversized belt buckles, and sports jackets. After everyone shows up and a couple of drinks at the bar in which I reigned in the lack of tact a little bit by just buying her the first drink, we decide to go play some pool. Now apparently their rule is you have to be drunk to play, which I felt I was sufficiently. But the fact that I was the only one making shots and that I actually ran the table from break to banked 8 ball (yeah I can be a bad ass at pool when I want used to own a pool table) during one game made judy/junelee turn into a shot buying machine patron, whiskey, 3 wise men, more whiskey. vodka- mind you this was after my own purchases of... Vodka Soda. I wasn't drunken enough for her apparently. It was also during pool while I was aiming for a shot that security came up to me and told me they had a dress code and that no boxers could be showing and that I needed to pull my shorts up. haha fine. So after pool the girls needed a cigarette break and this place has a lounge outside with a bar where you can smoke.
" Roy you and Mores need a smoke"
"I don't smoke"
" They are ultra lights its not smoking really just like light up air"
"Then why smoke it?"
" You just smoke." as she shoves the cigarette on me...
" No that's ok I don't smoke thanks though..."

Haha, so anyways all four of us are just hanging out smoking when she decides I'm still not drunk enough and wanders off to buy more shots. Carlos and Mayling at this point had shut down but I am not one to shy away from another round. Except she never quite makes it back. after a while we decide to see if maybe she has finally passed out somewhere. She ends up being outside with another group sees Carlos and me and starts talking about how she wants real good food. Carlos mentions a good Italian place and she is repulsed by that fact. She wants " Real Authentic Mexican food" and begins to barrage Carlos and me about us needing to know a good place cuz we're mexican and that we all need to go out tomorrow night and find some good damn mexian food. Finally to get her to calm down I say a place in Old town in good but she replies that she doesnt want any damn enchiladas she wants real down south mexican food- no tacos, no enchiliadas, no burritos. Carlos Mayling and me want to leave so I finally tell her fine we'll go and I'll order for you.
"Tomorrow 8 pm! us four going to old town 8 pm! I'm gonna eat what he's ordering." was the last things we heard as we were walking away.

Aw shit somewhere during all this I agreed to do the 5k mud run " Carlos, no 250 lb man should run through mud- he won't survive.  Your shoes have to be taped? the mud goes up to your thighs? my knees? and you really think this is a good idea for me?" haha  my pleas were ignored. So now I'm off to go train for that.

For you, from the classic album by Little Brother, The Listening. An album and a group that you all should have been listening to.

Warning

I would like to thank Joel for his invention of the Water and Dip diet. I believe it has been the catalyst since I started dipping again for me to have finally left the 250s behind. I hadnt weighed myself in over 2 weeks and was very satisfied to see I'm now at 244. Actually 33 lbs since May. Realistically I'm trying to make it to the 220s. Optimistically I'm shooting for my freshman weight of 211. I was still fat then but figure 4 inches and age this time well make me look more handsome than I already am. I am a card carrying alumni of the Handsome Boy Modeling school afterall- it only took 60 bucks. So I decided to celebrate today by actually eating other than oatmeal and bananas at home. Moms made some excellent machaca. I also have pretty much cut out Soda or Pop if you're from the midwest. Sticking with a D staple too and having tea more than ever. Uggh, and some agua de jamaica as well. not a fan but according to mexican lore it cleans out the kidneys and you all know I need that. How long has it been since I have been 244? 1998. 12 long years. I actually ended up getting down to 236. It was the last time I was so heavily into basketball that Hugo, some guy we used to know by the name of Jim, some other dude by the name of Mike and me were on the hoop it up circuit. Our next tour stop that year was LA for the hoop it up tournament up there. Actually it was in Winnetka. We had had a poor showing in October at the San Diego one and were fiercely attempting to rectify that. That tourney we avenged our loss to the other lesser team from Santee. Well it was only a lesser team because I wasnt on it... haha nah everyone was good. We also had a good run into the playoffs where after a night of heavy drinking we barely fell to some long armed mexicans from the valley. It was a hard fought game but the previous evening of celebrating my birthday had me running out of gas.  I remember we had all packed about 12 of us into the van for that journey. I also remember getting yelled at constantly for falling asleep on the way back, haha, I also remember forgetting where the bathroom was late at night and taking a leak on the sliding glass door hahaha. Anyways It was good to have a small cheering section- good times. maybe we can do it again sometime in the 30 and over leagues. Attempt to relive the glory haha.
Warning from biggie smalls because it was also Joel who finally convinced me to give him a shot. I was one of the few that saw where P diddy, master P and all them were taking rap to and I was reluctant to even attempt to like anything coming out of their labels. I have always been heavily into the underground less heralded but way more talented lyrically hip hop artists and even though I ended up being right about the future on this one account, well sometimes you gotta have an open mind and just listen. I am off to see if the music trader on el cajon blvd is still open I don't think it is but after paying what I had to pay at the post office to send a part of my legendary collection to some internet site, 5 bucks in gas to make some serious cash is well worth it

Think I'll try to ascend Cowles mountain tomorrow in 35 minutes or less tomorrow.

Pour Me Another

Mornings afters and walks of shame, the bartender knows me by my real name... I decided that I'm selling my cd collection. tough choice, but I have it all on itunes and media player anyways and I figure I should get a good chunk of change. a couple of cd's I'm gonna try to sell on ebay because they are out of print and heard a couple of years ago they were going for like 50 bucks. probably not going for that anymore but I figure I might still get more than what the average price second spin is gonna give me. I have over 500 cds. 450 which are hip hop. Thats what I'm doing tonight- scanning them all in to sell to this website. gonna take a while. Also gonna sell my dj hero game- you had to figure I owned that right?
I also saw on monster today a posting for a writer's job. To go and do reviews of bars and clubs and other happenings in SD. Not sure how it works but they want grammatically correct shit. I guess I could try and fix my writing issues with spell checks. Its the whole paragraph thing I have problems with. Maybe when I get a job I'll throw down some money and actually take some more writing courses. I remember Joel and me took a  creative writing course once and the highlight of it was when I wrote a play. About a night of working at a gas station. 2 main characters one of which sold cocaine on the side. I remember thinking people wouldn't understand why a coke dealer would work a normal job, so I gave him some morals. He had three rules. Never sell to school kids, Never sell to pregnant chicks, and stop selling to anyone that was losing everything in order to get high. He spends the night talking about not liking the notoriety of being a dealer to his co worker, which is why he also worked at the gas station and also talked about how he was just doing it to get through college. He wanted to end up being a teacher. Things happen throughout the night, a drunk guy, a robber, a lost family on vacation all make appearances. Anyways out of all the bullshit I wrote, this is the one that got the attention of the whole class. I should have ran with it. Instead I just sipped on the morgan and punch I would take to class to get through the critique sessions. Who knows I'm not dead yet- I am only 32. Maybe I'll end up writing my own version of Factotum. Charles Bukowski was cool.

You wanna talk about trashy reality tv? I am watchin swamp people. Trashy and boring- not one of the  History channel's highlights. I do like me some Pawn Stars. Anyways I'm off to start my fire sale. :(

Wish I could find that play. Its somewhere here in the vaults. And sometimes I just really wish I could say what I wanna say instead of writing it.

Pour me another. Atmosphere. Maybe if I start throwing the lyrics you people might finally understand what the fascination is all about.

Yesterday

I thought I was smarter than this.Apparently I'm not. I feel like I'm not even stuck in neutral-I think I'm actually going in reverse in all facets of this life thing.  I got asked a question yesterday and it got me. What the fuck have I done since February? I had thought rewriting my resume and applying for jobs had been productive. Hmm lets see.  I have managed to lose 20 lbs since May. I took a free course that turned my certification into a designation.I looked into going back to school (but am not eligible for Financial Aid because I my penchant for enrolling in classes and then dropping them back in my youth). That's it. In thinking about it, I havent been productive at all. This writing thing here- don't think counts. It hasn't given me anything of value other than to sort out thoughts, make a fool of myself, and help pass the time. Time I used to spend at work. I really killed myself at that job and have not a lot to show for it.  In attempting to help out fellow employees have a better work environment and better understanding of insurance, I ignored family things. I read a quote from Richard Sears once where he was asked what it was like to have so many people work for him. His reply was that they didnt work for him, they worked with him. Thats the philosophy I took. Of course times have changed since he founded Sears and maybe it just no longer applies.
I was in LA again this weekend. Probably shouldn't have gone, but its always nice to get a break from the norm. Crossed a few things off my list. wandered off again- with a reason this time. Took a nice Sunday stroll to go pick up my car. nice lil 5 mile walk. It was good to be out there and watch the world as you strolled, clear thoughts, pains, issues. Saw a family buying a car and took in their excitement. Stopped at a cemetery looked at lives that came and went and wondered for a bit how they lived. Walked passed a homeless guy with a cart and thought about how while walking was an option for me, it wasn't for him. I might be joining him real soon. Continued and saw a little boy with his dad at an oil change, eating an ice cream. Just looked at me and smiled. I laughed. Tried to jog it a little bit from there but was too hung over. Legs weren't cooperating. Made it to the bar, had a pitcher and eavesdropped on a conversation about Anchorman. Noticed the guy out in the patio with me was rocking A I love La Mesa shirt. Clear blue sky, a beer in hand, good scenery. Ruined by the fact that I at this time am lost inside my own head and my foolish attempt at creating a reality from a fantasy.

Yesterday from Atmosphere. Because I spoke about my pops like I never had before. Call your dad. If at the very least to remind him who he's missing out on.

Earvin

words aint enough
once you've heard her voice felt her touch
delayed in space
impatient rather be face to face
but does she? ha who knows
and so it goes
you'll take the words
re-read and over analyze
take them to try to see the world through her eyes
accept them as conversations
take them and sense her frustrations
wonder if yours make her laugh make her smile
take a little edge off her day
with whatever you gotta say
in 160 or less
cuz jokes, meanings get put to the test

2010 the new version of pen pals
take what her time allows
and thats the way it works
wake up to hers
she goes to sleep with yours
mostly light nothing serious
save that for a different time different period
and you try hard not to disturb her
easier thought than done
when her shine surrounds you like the sun
hold off on thoughts you wanna share
so you just stare and stare
stop pause and erase
but you're the one giving chase
so you go ahead and tempt fate
retype, hit send, sit back and wait...

God Sound

I found Lil D's journal tonight in looking for a new book to write stuff down. I probably have filled up more than my share of these with randomness-mostly lyrics- but none of them have ever survived. I have always ended up throwing them out. One of the plethora of things I regret. I know some of them might be up to par, a lot obviously I thought weren't. Yeah alot of it was younger bragging I'm the greatest cuz I have a bigger better understanding of vocab type of shit. Some of it was humorous I'm the wackest to ever put the pen to the pad type stuff. Then there was the dark shit- which is really what would make me throw the whole book away. Things I got into I shouldn't have, relationship stuff I hope no one would find out about. You name it whether real or imagined, though never anything on a muderous tip if you were wondering haha. I'm no Ted Bundy. I hate guns. I think I did write about guns and my fear of them. Obviously I hate knives too. Anyways as usual I digress. I want to share one of his entries. It's quick but to me it's poignant because- well because I'm his dad and I like that a 9 yr old would write this.
Lil D entry 9/15/2009
" I wonder how humanity began. What is the purpose of our existence? Also animals- same thing. Why do they exist? Well I guess I'll never know. These are the questions that wonder (sic wander) in my head..."
There is also one where he titles " A good day" and it involves him making the game winning shot in a basketball game. he describes how he goes to his favorite spot on the floor to give him confidence, wipes the sweat off his hands to make sure he has a good grip on the ball and shoots it and how "sure enough" it goes in... I remember him telling me about this shot and just smiling- makes me wish I had had more time and been in better shape to take him out to the courts more. Now he is really all about gaming. Kids these days.

I don't like just typing away stuff that I write when it comes to lyric type stuff. Won't insult real muscians by calling them songs- alot of them are just single verses anyways- even when the verse does come out half way decent I find it difficult to continue past that- the original verse usually gets watered down with the muddled attempts at finishing it. I guess its like Roy "Tin Cup" McAlvoy's swing. I'm not good at finishing things. Think up, start- yes. Even now I'm thinking about the Miami story I wanna write- The time I put it up on the space I put it to verse. This time I wanna write it down normal like. I was gonna write that tonight to give people something humorous for the morning, but that is now been put on hold for tomorrow. Haha but to my original point I write in a journal type book- I prefer wide rule for this. Why? dunno just do. College rule will have to do for now I guess. Anyways I'm gonna go back to writing in that right now and I won't be throwing this one away.

I sometimes think what if maybe garbage men found my throw aways and wonder why the hell would anyone write up this shit?

Boogie Monsters- God Sound. for those that have heard of them, Kudos. Consider yourselves a ok in my book. For those that haven't, well here's your chance.

Thank God For That White

I just interviewed. Had to dial a special conference call number to get in touch. Turns out the office was in downtown LA. From last night's rant the position was what my initial thought was- I was an excellent candidate for the position. Interview went extremely well, I hit all the points I wanted to hit- answered questions they were gonna ask before they asked them. Provided them with examples of their job description and what I had accomplished. Ended up asking them questions they obviously were impressed I had asked. It had been good that I had put in alot thought into it. Then they mentioned that my resume didn't state where I had graduated from... air came out of the whole thing. explained the approach I was taking to obtaining my degree (via CPCU designation). Didnt matter anymore. Told me that obviously they had received other resumes with some insurance background that had degrees. That there is an approval process at farmers at that it would be a challenge for them to get an approval on me because of my lack of one. The lady then asked me if I had spoken with the recruiter for the region. This was obviously because I wouldnt have made it past her once she had discovered I didn't have a degree. She asked it in order to "improve the hiring process". I refuse to call this a failed interview. fuck that. This job opening was what I do, what I excel at. Just gotta keep plugging away until someone gives me a pass on this whole degree thing. I can say this interview renewed my confidence in what I can do, what I know, and that I can succeed in a corporate structure. But me being me I decided to send them this anyways:

Mr (dude). ,

I just wanted to thank Ms. (so and so) and you for your time once again. I realize your time is valuable and really appreciated the opportunity to discuss my qualifications.I apologize that my resume does not clearly state my educational background. I thought my experience in the insurance industry had ultimately superseded this requirement in the opportunity to speak with you.


Sincerely,

Roy De La Cruz

Still can't say I'm not extremely disappointed... Moral of the day for those of you still young enough to go back and get that degree. Do it.

The white by crooked I because it has a line that speaks for this interview.

Revenge

I have been reading the job description over and over again for the position I am interviewing for tomorrow. I have come to the conclusion that either I am extremely qualified for the job and have done everything in the description or I have no clue what they are asking for in the job. It's not a typical underwriting job- its like a job that analyzes underwriting procedures and recommends new guidelines and procedures. It also talks about monitoring and utilizing third party systems to make sure guidelines are being followed. I have done that as well although maybe not to the extreme that farmers is writing it out to be. They posted this position over a month ago and even though they stated a 4 yr degree was required, I applied anyways because they were only looking for 5 yrs of underwriting experience and I have a decade plus. Yes mostly in auto- some homeowners and umbrella but still. I have been trying to come up with examples of accomplishments I had while at Anchor and I find myself wondering if thats what they are expecting to hear. I also wonder why it took them over a month to interview me. I wonder if its because they did interview people with degrees and they just don't have the qualifications I have in my resume. Maybe it is just an ordinary underwriting spot and they are making it out to be more complicated than it is. I honestly don't know. I am interviewing with the personal lines underwriting manager and another manager. It's kind of lame for me because I know if I had interviewed for this position right after I got dropped from the AG, I would have had all I did for that company and all my accomplishments fresh in my mind. Now 6 months later and many interviews later my thought process is honestly muddled. In attempting to interview for any position under the sun nowadays, I'm having trouble trying to pinpoint what accomplishments they wanna know about. Maybe I should just wait till they ask but then that wouldn't really be preparing. So I'm up typing away. There has to be things on my resume though that made them decide to interview me finally though- I have to look at it that way. And I didn't embellish or glorify anything on it- I actually did everything and accomplish everything I threw on the res. I am sure that if they say they will get back to me about a follow up interview though that I won't get called back so I am hoping they end the interview by scheduling me for an in person interview at the end of it. That's how I'll measure it, because every time some one has told me they will follow up later for possibly another interview I have never gotten a call back. I was once close to becoming an agent for Farmers so I received all of their training manuals for their products. Couldn't find them tonight though. Really with all this confusion I'm not sure how I can be a good interview. I have been applying for jobs everywhere tonight from underwriting assistant to health care, to marine insurance csr. It's tiring having to apply to so many spots.

It's not looking like I'll be making Kevin's wedding in Vegas. Or the golf outing for Nick's birthday. I feel bad about that. I also feel bad about the disappointment I can sense in Lil D's voice when I let him know he'll be going back to his moms after tonight. We didnt spend a lot of time together this weekend, him and I... Need to get off this subject.

I once asked Sofia if she liked Justin Bieber and she just made a gagging sound. Apparently she is not a fan. So I went to you tube and started playing some Jbiebs just to mess with her. She went nuts like she had been possessed by some demon. Don't mess with her Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana though- I'm sure she'd cut you.

Revenge By Little Brother- Beat is just stupid ridiculous. From their last and final album, Left back.

Half Nelson

This is an excellent movie- it has Ryan Gosling from the Notebook for christ sakes. Plus notice all the stars. Just one factoid. I had never spoken about it to anyone until last weekend. Umm yeah, the fact  my career aspiration was to become a history professor. The football coach- for the whole 3 days I played until I broke my wrist- was also my guidance counselor my freshman year in high school and nicknamed me the professor when I told him. I planned on being the Jaime Escalante of history. Then I planned to be Jim Belushi from The Principal. In a perfect world I would be working with at risk youth and try to show them what education could lead them to. I never have understood why a teacher would want to teach at an already prominent school. If you really want to teach and make a difference, wouldn't you want to work in the inner cities and reap the satisfaction of having made a difference in at least some of those kids lives? But me? Silly right? Especially how I have turned out... But I see those AARP commercials where they ask old people like me what they wanna do when they grow up and my response would be to do just that. It gives me hope that I will one day. I just need to concentrate on what I have learned in my career as an underwriter and insurance man first...

I finally heard back from Farmers this week about an interview for a position I have coveted. An underwriting position at a major insurance company.  My interview is on Monday...

The girl at the front desk at 24 hour fitness looks at me as if she's wondering who the hell told me that I would look good with a beard. It was my Tia Vicki... To stay on this gym trip for a bit I have been taking these pills called force factor. Maybe its in my head but I find myself to be sluggish there when I haven't taken them. When I do man I feel like I am in some sort of shape. Too bad they are expensive as all hell...

I had a solid two meals today- oatmeal and coffee in the morning and then a salad and a bowl of soup for dinner with some of Fia's fries...

My daughter asked me if I liked Michael Jackson while driving to play some miniature golf today. I of course replied yes. She then followed up asking me then why did I never listen to him. Guess she's getting tired of all my hip hop. So now I am making a CD of Michael for the car...

I went to high school with my kids' dentist. She was asking me why I hadn't scheduled them. Once I replied it was because I currently have no insurance, she offered to do it all for free until I got insurance. how awesome is that? She doesn't know what it means to me to have someone willing to help me out like that. I will be forever in her debt for that. Don't know if she is one of the 3 people who read this, but if she is, Thank you.

I dropped off Lil D at his friend's house for a sleep over today. I had to apologize to his friend's dad for not following up on taking him and his kids to the Wild Animal park. I promised him that the Sunday before I got fired. So I gave him all my free passes today- it was the least I could do for him always having Lil D stay the night at his place...

I really tried going to sleep before midnight tonight but I couldn't. I stay up late because I guess I'm afraid I'll miss something. Tonight its weird because even though I'm up I still feel like I'm missing something.  I wonder if other people feel that way- I assume they have to.

Haha I just gotta text about going to bed so I could go to morning mass. Last time I went to mass was the infamous year the chargers went 8-8 and made the playoffs. I promised people that if they somehow got into the playoffs I would go to mass before their first playoff game. Nick joined me at the catholic church in Old Town. haha we even dressed up. then afterwards we of course stayed for some Margaritas. It worked for at least the first playoff game...

Thats it I'm actually tired. was up late last night. I'm hoping that I've realized drinking every weekend is no country for old men (thats via Phonte). Good talk.

Glory

Oh my lord, lord, lord... This one here is probably really my favorite movie of all time. I couldn't leave it out. Its the one that got me fascinated with history. It's the one that gave me the first impression of the inequality the US has. Its the one that makes me tear up every time in the final scene and the only one where I'm still like a little kid and hope the ending will change just once. But it doesn't so the teary eyes come. How Black sheep is my old stand by musically, this is the movie thats my stand by. Even though I own the movie and usually its the one the kids pick as their bedtime movie (this one and the Patriot- haha yes I'm turning them into history dweebs) its the one where I stop what I'm doing and watch it when its on tv. I'm terrible at remembering lines-whether lyrics or movie ones, but I know this one pretty well. Besides The princess bride, this might be Cary Elwes finest performance and he gets overshadowed by Matthew Broderick, Denzel, and Morgan Freeman. This is the reason I never just assume the stereotype- of anyone- but especially AAs. True a lot of the time it comes out eventually. Wait I take a little of that back. The real reason I  keep an open mind is because of where I was raised for the first 11 years of my life. East San Diego. It was in my opinion a perfect mix of Mexicans, Asians, and AAs. Our school was actually a magnet school and it even had a decent dose of white people. And to go further, when I first started school, I really didnt have any friends- I was the odd man out. I still remember after about a month in Kindergarten I was close to becoming the kid that everyone outcast and made fun of- probably because of my inability to color the grass green, get the stop sign colors right, and colored the night sky purple. Then Stacey started playing with me. He has always been the guy people circle around Stacey is the guy currently hanging with me in my fb profile pic. I really don't know why or can't remember how, but soon he was hanging around me and I became #2. Fine by me. I to this day wonder what would have happened if we would never have moved to Santee- the complete opposite of multi cultural. I doubt D or me would have fell into the life of gangs- we were too nerdy. I think we would have actually been stand out students, athletes and maybe been an example of kids that made it out. Haha maybe I'm thinking too highly of us. But I think where as in Santee we didnt stand out really, we would have in East Diego. I do know the first time someone called me a beaner was in 6th grade in Santee. I had never been called that- to my face at least- I didn't even know it was racial- I thought it was made up. Then it was explained to me it wasn't. I felt like such an idiot- I think I remember saying a beaner was just someone who ate beans or some shit like that. Anyways Stacey and me were best friends all the way thru 5th grade when I moved to Santee. In thinking about looking back, there was an instance where people stuck with their own. It was the asians during 4th grade and four square. Haha I know silly but check this out. Obviously the point of four square is to get to the number 1 square and hold onto- for those that have never played the game. Hey I don't know maybe this game became obsolete in the '90s. Anyways its not supposed to be a team effort- it should be everyone for themselves. But team asian decided that three of them would team up against the new player coming into the opening square. Obviously the coolest of their click would get the top square and his #2 and #3 would take their spots and proceed to completely attack the kid in the new square. Stacey his brother and me then formed our own and would try to take them out. Christ am I really talking about 4-square on a friday night? haha. anyways it got to the point that our teacher who obviously noticed what was going on, intervened. actually held about an hour lesson on the point of 4 square and how it wasnt a team sport and that if he caught anyone colluding he would ban everyone from playing and we would all spend recess walking around the sand lot. You don't fuck with a little kids recess. So that got everyone's attention. Mr. Thomas- he drove a Z and also worked as a bartender at night at some bar up the street. He was black too and he was also my favorite teacher. He lets us chew gum in class for christ sakes- even gave it out as a reward for when we did good on tests. Maybe that's really what influenced what people perceive as the bias I have towards black people over Mexicans. Maybe I do a little bit. I now realize maybe why the Mexicans in my school weren't close or friendly towards me. I was hanging out with Jabar, Jerome, Stacey, Gueka, LeRoy...etc. and not Gonzalo, Jaime, Jose...(all real names from my school) shit in thinking about it maybe I was considered a sell out. What a shame. Hey I went with the people that accepted me and all I know is I try to keep an open mind towards everyone- except puerto ricans. Haha just kidding. And thats why team, I just had to check out the Magic Johnson Friday's the other day. My profile pic was from earlier this year. It was from Stacey's 32 birthday at the previously mentioned West Coast tavern. His list of invitees was an awesome mix of people from all walks of life, all different races. I remember I mentioned this to him and how he managed to befriend all these types of people throughout his life. his reply?

" Isn't that the point?"
While we're not close I find it very cool that I've known this guy since Kindergarten and that at the very least we hang out on our birthdays. Well thats all I have for this friday night hope everyone had a fun one.


So I guess while writing this I realize the movie cant take credit for influencing me on being open minded

"Tear it up!" haha

Road To Perdition

5 years after writing this and 11 years after he has left us, I still have these dreams...-  rdlc 6/21/15

I have mentioned that I really don't like talking about dreams, but this one is what made me go back to movies and this one in particular. I still have dreams with my dad in them and usually when I wake up I realize I have been crying in my sleep. I realize this is because I always figure out in my dream he is no longer living. In this last one he's handing me money telling me everything is gonna be ok and to never worry about money. He was always like that at least to me- he'd give you everything he had. He was never big on finances-sadly neither am I. I never got to pay him back some money I owed him. I think one day I'll hand Lil D and Sofia the money I owed him-to pay it forward but won't bother to explain why. That will be between the old man and me. The dream ends with him in the front yard walking away and just waving and me waving back as I talk to my uncle, one of his younger siblings on the phone. I don't get the chance to say anything, just wave back. I have been accused on putting him on a pedestal, but in the end the man was my dad. Well anyways thats it. I'll  leave with something I wrote, hopefully its the last time I write about this subject, but probably not...

Wish I could've had one more night
thank you for the lessons air out some gripes
tell you my son and daughter gonna be alright
they're gonna miss you though
so I'll do my best to keep you in their soul
ask you what you think one last time
tell you i'm just learning your gift for rhymes
say sorry that I'm struggling so much
without you I'm bound to lose touch
know that I'll never quit on your memory
and forever try to improve on your legacy
Thats what I owe you
forever fuck that kid who stabbed you
but still wonder what happened to his life
after what he did to us that night
hope he lives every day with regret
like I do every day for not getting justice
we should still hang out in my dreams
there you can still teach me things
 with tears in my eyes
I'll hug and wave goodbye until next time
then I'll wake up feeling just fine...

Atmosphere - The Major Leagues

I like doing laundry late at night. Been doing it late since I lived in Monterey. It was probably because thats when you have the laundry room to yourself and no one is fucking with your shit. I remember I would have to cruise down 3 flights of stairs. I lived  couple blocks from downtown and thats the part of town where they crammed a bunch of apartments. I lived in a shoe box. People who came know how small the place was. It had a nice view though. Oh wow a Dres the black sheep song just came on with the whole rest of the Native tongues and its beyond fantastic. Jesus. Lost my whole train of thought. Hold up gotta concentrate on its greatness... Its from Dres' new album. Black Sheep is my old stand by. Its a shame I've only seen them live twice. yeah tomorrows song has been selected. Birds of a feather. In Monterey I worked at the Wherehouse. Of course I would at one point in my life have worked at a music place. Other than the anything playing on the radio and some jazz and classical  people had to know because the clientele there was really into it, guess what my specialty was? I had just turned 21 and downtown Monterey was really where the locals would go because cannery row was such a tourist trap. Anyways I like the people I worked with they were really an eclectic group.. They were really cool with inviting me to all sorts of places house parties, concerts, and stuff. Wish I could see what they are up to nowadays. anyways back to my laundry. I have a system I start with colors, then whites and finally towels. Because towels are the easiest to fold and by the time you walk up and down three flights of stairs you want the easiest for the end.

Man I'm really tired. It probably has something to do with playing basketball on like 3 hours sleep and also having eating a bowl of oatmeal all day. Why only 3 hours of sleep? Maybe because my body got too used to sleeping sitting up all weekend and I couldn't get comfortable last night. Plus I went to bed at 4 am. Its what happens when you're constantly thinking about your current situation- but I have written enough about that and I'm currently not really thinking about it. I have gotten some advice on my resume and I think I need to re work it again. If anyone out there has any suggestions, I am all for them. As you can tell by this blog, writing is not a strong point. Neither is talking really. Thinking I got down solid. But anyways The next part of this one here for tonight is the reason why I'm still typing and not looking forward to going to my room.

So around 4 am or so last night I decide its time to hit the hay. Call it a night from thinking of things that could occur, people I have to apologize to- blah blah. So I go off to my room and decide I don't need covers. As I'm dozing off, I hear a bang. Ok fine. I look into the darkness and nothing special is in view so I say whatevs and get back to trying to go to sleep. Then I start hearing a guitar playing. Acoustic. Off in the distance. Ok. I figure my window is open and decide its not coming from the house. Fyi, my dad would spend hours playing the guitar in the living room, but I quickly dismiss that of course. I have my eyes closed for a minute then I distinctly feel someone or something get on the bed from the left side of the bed. I sleep on the right if you're looking from the door. I try to rationalize its my daughter sneaking in again. Except I don't have my kids. This is not quite where I freak. I freak when I feel an arm go over across my body- a females arm. Like when someone is asleep and is just throwing their arms over you. Now normally that would feel ok-good even. Not when you know no one is spending the night. I haven't moved to even see what this is. My eyes are vice gripped shut. My light is on the side where this thing or whatever has come into the bed. With eyes still close I roll over and start fumbling for the light. After a few moments I get the light on. My bed had been made but the only thing i can see is that the left side of the bed has definitely been disturbed. Not by me. I wasn't dreaming, I wasn't asleep. I wish I was. Incredible to believe? Sure. I'm not sure if I can believe it as I'm typing this- doubt you will take it seriously. And no I haven't been watching any ghost shows lately. I blame Wes' sister in law, Jen, bringing up old man frank on Wednesday when I went to pick up his bag and I told her that nothing had happened in a long time...

I'm just typing now so as to not go to bed haha. I decided I'm not shaving until I get another legitimate interview for a job. It's coming in nicely not itchy like last time...

I also am in full practice mode to try to get back some form for basketball. I just talked about when Hugo Stacey Nick and me played in a 3 on 3 tourney last year at crown point. The highlight was our team name. Man that was a total embarrassment. Besides the fact the referee made our team play skins. out in 2. Terrible.   My post game is not coming along yet- my only legit move is missing the mark still even when I get good position. I hate to bring this up though that I did shoot lights out from everywhere else. Its the music I listen to while shooting I'm sure so I will have to insist on playing with my earphones next time I'm playing horse.


I just texted my cousin about this song and his need to listen to this tune asap. Its from Atmosphere's new EP. as always I highly suggest you all give a listen- attempting to figure out if Atmos is for you on one song really isn't fair to you. I'm off to attempt to sleep.


Oh and I prefer liquid detergent to powder- sometimes the powder gets in your clothes' pockets and when you get out of your car it looks like you just spilled a g of narcotics on your seat. Not good if you were to get pulled over by johnny law.


And I just hit my 22nd blog. why is this important? cuz its in my birthday which just gave me an idea...

De La Soul- Stakes is High

Woke up around midnight to find myself sprawled on Nick's living room floor. He was busy playing Madden with the Roots in the background. We had switched to wine around 6 and somewhere between then and the end of the Padre game I had decided to power nap. Actually my body decided that for me. There was still beer left so we figured what the hell, still labor day until the sun rises. This all started innocently enough on Wednesday night. I had another interview in LA on Thursday so I figured to hit the road go hang up there till Sunday then come back for our annual fantasy football draft and BBQ. So on wednesday i was actually good and hit the gym and played basketball with Wes and his work buddies. I am proud to say Team Santucky is undefeated in the LA region. I have to say the first games I played in were amusing. I started off at these full courts where some AAs were playing and to my delight, one of them was running his mouth. This one guy was too much- trash talking everyone on the other team. The best part was that he was terrible. After that though, it was a quiet Wednesday night at Casa De Wesley. Thursday though- man. I shouldnt have made the switch to Bacardi and Coke. Friday was the taco shindig in Venice but it was National Burrito day and D and me hit a place called Super Taco. Ate a burrito. This was a tactical mistake. We get there and I wasn't all that hungry. While I enjoy cooking, eating sometimes takes a backseat. Hey I did have an Italian Ice which reminded me of De La's "Itzsoweezee" which reminded me I hadn't heard the album in a minute which led to me drunkenly texting mostly everyone on my phone about its greatness. And now it has me putting the title track of the album on here. Sorry about that. But it should be in your music catalog. Anyways later that night I was amazed at the amount of hours a laptop camera can entertain the masses. Some hilarious pictures and a Michael Jackson cover later and D and me have gone through a 30 pack. That brought me into Saturday, which reminds me that I forgot to mention I only play horse for money. At 50 bucks a letter, I am owed 250 bucks currently as I received no letters. Also got a chance to catch a movie in a theater. Checked out Machete. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Sunday was completely super from start to end. Started off in LA and couldnt get myself to leave on time. Got to the draft at Hugo's an hour and a half late and unprepared just like last time. Afterwards an impromptu party started the cooler had a never ending supply of beer, wine was everywhere, and after a poker tournament it was time to raid Hugo's fridge. Tashard Choice entered the vernacular along with supple and cave baby as a result of me deciding to eat pasta with my fingers. And Kelly's left over steak. And whatever that potato mixture was. Nick and me were commenting on how ridiculous it would have been if at 3 in the morning we would have been told to keep it down by Hugo's parents. Needless to say this was one of the best weekends in a long while. It helps to keep reality from completely sucking everything outta of me...

Sometimes I wish I could write like this...
"Now usually I’m at top of the game
At least I used to be
This is new to me
I can't explain what you do to me,
Moving me, soothing me, seducing me, reducing me down
To figure out how I can go about improving me"

and like this...

"Let's stand on the corner, throw rocks at people
So there's no surprises, written off as evil
I lay next to women that I don't deserve
They like to hurt my pride, while I work their nerves"

but i can't so I'll just quote Slug.

Sometimes there are just days where I feel the need to apologize to the world. Today was one of those days. Sometimes I do things or say things that I shouldn't and prepare myself for the worst possible outcome. Basically that was my day. And just like that I get a text and this feeling goes away.

But just in case I'll apologize anyways. Sorry.

L.A.

I'm finishing up some laundry before I head on up to L.A. Last night the guy who lets us play at the Mormon church on Tuesdays, let us know that last night was the last night he was gonna have it open. Just when I was starting not to look terrible while playing. Anyways I think its maybe because no actual Mormons have been showing up to play, just us gentiles or whatever Mormons call non Mormons. Oh well guess I'll have to play with the fuck faces at the gym.  Wes n me are supposedly gonna play at some park in LA. See how that goes. Hugo asked if the King and Duck would be there- I hope not I'm not quite ready for them...
Yesterday I found myself in PB. I had to drop off some money I owed, and of course as it usually goes with this guy, he wants to go hit up a bar before I head out. I guess I'm just the guy who people like to watch drink- a reputation built upon many years of leaving it all behind including dignity, respect, and decorum. We hit up this place called the Olde City grill. They actually have american kobe beef cheesesteaks that are really good, but I was planning on hitting the gym so I just went with what was on Happy Hour. Yeah I know doesn't make much sense but hey. Tuesdays they have extended happy hour that starts at 3 pm and goes till 10. $1.50 pints of domestic. We sat outside so he could do play by play on the talent that walked by. We also spoke about how his business is recession proof and while how when people struggle his business picks up, the lack of talent his 49ers have (that might have just been me), the weird people who live in San Clemente, Santa Cruz, what life would be like as a bum, Poker strategy and when we'll start up the PB game again, and why he should have taken care of his license suspension a long time ago even if he didn't plan on driving- insurance rates. The currently useless information I have in my head...
I got an email yesterday morning from some insurance company in the San Fernando Valley. It simply stated-
" Roy- aren't you in San Diego? the Job is in Santa Clarita."
Why would they think I didnt know that? anyways I replied that I knew that and basically requoted my cover letter where I say I am willing to relocate. I also told them for interview purposes I would be coming from the LAX area. The person's next reply?
"Roy- we'd be definitely interested in talking to you but the reality is that Lax to here is just too far for anyone to drive everyday
Reimundo"
I am highly amused at this point figuring it has to be some schmoe from HR. So I just respond
" Reimundo- I am no stranger to long commutes. I used to commute daily from Murrieta to San Diego every day for 3 years. The commute is no concern for me. I am interested in (company's name) because from what I have read and seen on the internet it is modeled very closely like my previous company."
I then decide to see if I can verify who this Reimundo is. So I google his name and the company's name. Turns out he is the actual owner of the company. He also co owns another company named Nations Insurance. where he holds the second highest majority of stock. great.
He actually responds and asks me to complete an application and send it back and also asks if I'm currently employed and if not why. I complete the application before deciding how to respond. I decide to go with the truth minus the whole bash my supervisor thing. In the end I think its better to know right away if I would be stepping into another anchor- I had read the last market conduct report from the department of insurance on Reimundo's Nations insurance company. While it didnt really spell out trouble it gave me enough pause to want to make sure where this guy stands.
As I'm typing this I have yet to hear back from him.  He may be a busy man, or he may just not have cared what I had to say about why I'm no longer at anchor. Oh well I'm off to pack and head off to LA. Taking my brother a surprise from Mom and I have some type of interview tomorrow in Culver City. Hopefully its not for a position to sell vacuums door to door. I also need to get my basketball shoes.

Murs- LA cuz I'm heading there.