Speed

Yesterday's post was a result of this conversation....

So yesterday, Ivan asked me if I was gonna hit up a dodger game this weekend cuz the padres are play them. I replied that I was thinking about it because I have never been to dodger stadium. Ivan sits across from my buddy Saadiq. Saadiq upon hearing this lets me know that my LA cool status has dropped or some shit because I havent ever been- I reply with he has no SD coolness cuz he's never been to Petco Park...

" I go to stadiums that have championships brother..."

oof! blow to the stomach; I grimace in having to acknowledge this fact.

Saadiq does not stop there;

" I had some respect for the Padres in my youth until they started trading away everyone- hahaha what they get for Fred McGriff again? some baseballs? some helmets? cuz I know they didn't get no players"

I could only reply-

" I hope they got a washing machine and some stirrups..."

" And what about your Chargers?"

I try to cut him off-

"Dont even be bringing up Leaf-"

The man knows a little something about sports

"Saadiq you're cutting to the core of me- this is stinging more than my divorce. you're bringing up painful memories of my youth..."

Saadiq, Ivan start laughing, I join in as I realize none of us have taken a phone call in quite some time, which is you know like our jobs... Hence the hasty post at lunch yesterday... I'm off to hike the away the pain that is still lingering...

Speed probably again from little brother dunno know probably posted it before...

The pain

Watch "Murs - The Pain" on YouTube

The following are by far the most painful times in my life

June 1991; NBA finals Lakers verses Chicago. The series started so beautifully with big Sam Perkins hitting a last second 3 to win game one. Vlade magic and them were well on the way. But then they lost 4 in a row- three at home and it was finally clear who the greatest basketball player of all time would be. To add insult to injury I had bet my teacher on the lakers winning and ended up having to wash his lame ass Porsche in front of the whole school... this is why I want Chicago to win the east this year- so that the lakers can avenge my crying and embarrassment from twenty years ago. With bynum playing like a man this should be easily accomplished

January 1994- the chargers have just shocked the world by beating Pittsburgh in Pittsburgh to advance to the superbowl. Only to get there asses handed to them in the superbowl. The worst part is that I couldn't even watch it because I had to work at kmart and got yelled at every time I stayed too long in the tv section... to date the chargers have not returned to the promised land. I can only hope this is the year....

October 1998- the padres are shocking the world by dismantling the best Yankee team ever. Gywnn and Vaughn have both homered to give them a comfortable lead. They rocked David wells. Then the inning happened mark langston gets squeezed by the ump against Paul O'neill on a pitch that to this day is a strike and the Yankees come back to win. I truly believe if the padres win that first game, they would have won it all, they had another game locked up as well but a certain closer blew the save. Tony gwynn was the only padre to hit like a man that series he hit a cool .500.

To this day no championship other than indoor soccer has come to san Diego and for all intents and purposes my life is half over. I don't want to end up like a lame ass cubs fan who lived and died never knowing the feeling of seeing a championship.

do my tears surprise you? Yes strong men also cry, strong men also cry...

my notes

These last couple of weeks have been simply great. Don't know what I did to deserve it- maybe I don't but like William Money said, " deserves got nothing to do with it" from excellents sunday fundays in LA and San Diego, learning of a pay raise, being able to post for a promotion less than a month out of training (lets hope I get it-thats a different story), to seeing my kids in SD and now getting to have them for a real extended period of time up here in LA. Even moms is paying a visit. Not to mention a new atmosphere album that is growing on me, and a concert in the next week. Shit is just looking rosy right now. Maybe its just a shift in focus and thought about being in LA and at this new job stemming from my hike a couple of weeks ago, maybe its just pure luck. Fuck maybe its just that summer is around the corner. Tell you what, there is no better feeling than your beautiful daughter curling up next to you. congrats to Hugo and Kelly for their upcoming baby boy. While life isnt completely good, its getting there and thats all I have been waiting for I guess- a sign that this is turning around. It is.

I have the final three concepts of my little project in my head I'll get them on here once my wrist improves-really the only bs happening right now. anyways had to share this good frame of mind,

My Notes, by you know who.

unit C

Paranoid thoughts enter his mental
every 5 minutes he's looking out his peep hole
and he's been at this for days
ever since she left and its been just him up in the place
actin like he don't care plus he has the money to waste
missin work not answerin his phone
when he's on it he just wants to be alone
his life in shambles
calls his friends on some charlie sheen rambles
nothin they can do when they are just holdin the phone
except repeat shit he already knows
"you gotta keep control"
" 3 ozs in a week nah thats not that cool"
"come on don't be this fool"
"nothing is worth doing this to yourself"
"stop for your kids if not for your health"
scared to what must be going through his head
what must be going on in that apartment
prayin that the landlord don't find him dead
and this is when he realizes he really needs help
phone's been dead for days
his blown ass had been talkin to himself...

Back Rent

he tiptoes passed unit #1 thats the landlord's and he dont want none
cuz his last check played like a basketball
as he glides pass he stops to ponder the new tag on the wall
"Life's a bitch so be the pimp"
smiles cuz he gets it
still he's so out of his element
away from those who filled him with joy and laughs
that was the plan-reside in this studio to become a better man
but he needed therapy so last months rent went to the bar
keeps that up living in a car wont be far
lucky he gets another month to right his wrongs
the key still opens his door the roof's still over his head
so he thinks to his future ahead
and knows soon he'll be outta of the red
life's a bitch so be the pimp
and he's gonna make that bitch turn in one more trick...

The Tenets/move in day

Move In Day


The Landlord called; the place was hers
she smiled no more roommates to disturb
keys in her  hands relax the nerves
the areas not great, the parking sucks
theres no AC, no laundry but so what
she's finally made it out on her own
nuthin like an apartment to feel all grown
gets to decorate in her taste
no cable yet but the tv is on what she wanna see
chill out to her favorite dvds
make her own dinner
gets to puff on her reefer
sunday funday or it could be lazy
with no one around that be judging
and thats how she sees it
rent she pays well worth the freedom