Dog day afternoon

He hangs out on the porch and across the street
From that ugly ass building but still wonders if they have meat
Cuz his owner is a vegan and all he gets is oat treats
That ain't enough to battle his worst enemy
That man in blue strolling with them papers
Always with bad news that man is a hater
But his barks have no bite behind that door
A daily defeat when them papers hit the floor
It's just them two the owner and him
So when friends are over he gets blamed for the fartin'
But thats cool he don't mind it
Plus his owner is the one who has to pick up his shit
Yeah that's right he has a privileged life
Good food, filtered water, and he gets to sleep inside
Though he hates the long walks, and when he gets dressed
And when the girl comes over he gets kicked out the bed
But other than that no major bones
So is the life of the one kobe Jones

The graduate

When disaster strikes, describes this scene
There's take out, trash, liquor- not one spot clean
Passed out, boxers only on his floor
Couldn't quite figure out his bedroom door
Finals were on Thursday and he had to celebrate
Aced his shit and he's gonna graduate
So he went on a bender
And ten years later whose gonna remember
That he grabbed her ass and got slapped by the bartender
Proceeded to get cut off on his 16th beer
Oh well he's the future of America let's make that clear
That plane you fly in, he'll be the engineer
So it was her loss
One day soon he'll make more than her boss
And that's all he really tried to explain
That she should jump ship and board his train
His red face proof of the rejection
So it was time to stumble back to the apartment
Wasted yet again his neighbors can tell
As he pulls it put to piss below his stairwell
And they hope he gets over this
Cuz one day he might run this government...