Da Pain

I started writing just to be somebody, then I realized I already was...

we are a van full of pakistans at the Jordan residence tonight- I wasn't planning on coming up tonight or this weekend but I got a call from triple a yesterday and after the phone interview they scheduled me for an interview, well this morning since its already 1 am, in Burbank and
speaking with Brian I decided I should come up instead of having a possible 4 hr trek from SD. I am sure I will interview fine I just don't know if I should say something about my credit issues or if I should just let them sort it out. Someone told me that I should dispute everything so they can see I'm disputing it and that they'll maybe disregard everything so thats what I did last night. If anything after the interview It'll give me a chance to hit up griffith park again. Then I'm gonnna head to the hollywood sign and check that out finally...

I'm outside as to not disturb this guy named Wu from sleeping but its freezing, I just got back from the gym and I'm completely soaked. Too Cold I'm calling it a post. This might be the shortest one ever.

Supreme the Elohem or whatever the hell that means. nice track from a member of duck down. I am off to see if I can sleep. Adios.

Not Another Day

Yesterday I headed off to downtown. There is this site called king of happy hour and I checked it out to find this place that had 2 dollar bud lights. It's called redzone. Maybe if the crowd was better or maybe if it wasn't right next to the trolley stop it might have been a decent place to watch the game. But its right next to the trolley stop and the crowd is... not so much. Not wanting to deal with traffic and not wanting to pay for parking I decided to park way out of the gas lamp district. Plus I decided it would be a good walk if I ended up having one too many. I had also gone down to help out and donate some money for a homeless shelter's kids halloween party. Apparently they had requested fried chicken and the person in charge was raising funds to grant them their request. Anyways on the walk down to the gaslamp from where I parked I noticed a bum was wrapped up and sleeping. It was all of 645 pm. I thought to myself, if I was a bum I would never go to sleep early- I would rock out til the morning. But thats just me. Anyways after the failure of redzone I headed off to rock bottom to meet up with Claudia and her friend so that I could drop off the money. There I basically crashed a birthday party, had a couple more drinks and found myself sitting next to some british guy who had just flown in. We start talking about sports. apparently he is a big cowboys fan and he tells me why that is. Back in London when he was like 10 he had recorded the superbowl that they were playing. Since they won bam he became a fan. He is actually like a real fan too- knows all the players and what not. Anyways during this I had to interrupt him to let him know I didn't speak Celtic. Haha thats my new thing I guess. He just laughed and said he couldn't help his accent- I told him I was just kidding. He also said He loved San Diego and that this was his second time back and that out of all the places in the USA this was his favorite? Oh yeah?
" Then tell me sir why would you parade yourself in downtown san diego wearing a giant shirt?"
"I thought since the Paaaadres (attempting his accent) weren't in it you all would be rooting for the california team."
" First of all its Pawdres not whatever you just called them haha just kidding. But seriously no. No padre fan is gonna sit here and tell you to wear a giants shirt and cheer them to world series victory..."
" Have you been to the Zoo?"
"no."
"How can you possibly say you love San Diego the most out of any city including LA and New York and not have gone to the zoo? you know its world famous? Other than the stupid pandas its a must stop."
hahaha we just started laughing- this guy knows comedy. He's here for another couple of days and I left him with a to do list for while he is here- Pacific and Ocean Beach, Cabrillo National Monument, Golden hill and north park, and the Zoo, haha.
After a brief stop at the whiskey girl, I decided I needed to call it a night. I had exceeded my allotment of beverages I had planned to drink but that was ok because it had been a nice night. I had a long walk back to the car and I figured if that wasnt good enough I could just hang out for a bit. On my way back, I notice the bum ( I forgot to ask what they prefer to be called a bum, homeless, or hobo...)that was sleeping earlier was no longer wrapped up and he was just looking up at the buildings and sky. Figuring I had time to kill, I stopped.
" Hey can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Why do you go to sleep so early?"
" Nothing else to do. plus if I wake up early I can get in line for some free coffee and bread at the shelter."
"Makes sense..."
At this point in realizing he is not crazy, not irrational, and seems quite normal I decide to ask him another question.
" Can I ask you something else?"
" yeah go ahead..."- He's just lounging in his sleeping bag with his belongings at his feet looking up at the night sky and buildings. I wasn't trying to change the guys life, or trying to document the plight of the homeless. I was just trying to converse with who I thought would be one to bring interesting conversation.
" What did you do before?"
" Before I lived on the streets?"
"Yeah before you used the union building sign as a night light."
He laughs.
" I worked construction. I was a laborer. Then I lost my job and didnt bother getting another one. So I ended up here"
" No family?"
I don't remember his reponse to that one because he asked me a question. I had by the point sat down on the sidewalk
" What do you do?"
" I am out of work. I used to work in insurance. But I havent worked since February."
" Do you get unemployment?"
"yeah but its not nearly enough. Its not what I'm used to getting paid."
"well at least its something."
I stop and think real quick. Here I was about to start bitching about the small amount of money my unemployment check was to some guy who was sleeping on the sidewalk. How much of an asshole am I?
" you're right"
The guy then asks me;
" You still looking for a job?"
"yeah actually but my credit is preventing me from hired. I actually got selected for an underwriting spot down here in one of these buildings about a couple of weeks ago. Commercial underwriting. But when they asked me about my credit and I told them about some things, they told me they wouldnt be able to hire me. So I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I have an interview Friday in LA."
" LA huh? I prefer stayin down here"
I realize I am talking more about me so I bring it back to him.
" So you think you will ever not live out here?"
" I hope I don't but I'm not exactly trying- I sometimes drink too much."
" Me too man."
The rest is regular guy b.s. the chargers, padres, Adrian Gonzalez, hot women that walk by him sometimes, that almost motivate him to get back to work...
I finally decide to call it a night and as I am leaving I decide what the hell...
" Here man. I am broke as fuck myself but figure I would probably just end up drinking this away anyways." I handed him a 20.
" Are you sure man? Thanks! This is like coffee and food for a week."
" Man I don't care if you buy a beer with it too. I just..." I realized I was stereotyping him.
" Dude its yours to do what you want."
At this point we had awoken another homeless guy and he starts asking the guy I was talking to if he'd buy him something in the morning. what the hell...

" Dude here you go." I handed him a 10. Why? Because honestly, those 30 bucks to me just represented about 6 beers. To them it represented more important things. I'm not mother teresa or anyshit like that- I'm just a guy who drinks and needed to chill for a bit before heading on home. As I am walking away;

" Hey thanks again for the money man- Good luck with your interview in LA."
" No problem man. Thanks."

His name was Eric.

Not Another Day by Atmosphere-third verse.

Travel(remix)

"We travel like the wind across the rotten fruited plain. We travel like the blood that surrounds your brain. Atmosphere has landed, demanding that we raise the curve. Expand the kingdom, all heads of the earth..."

I think I have my answer as to the types of jobs I can no longer apply to. Out of 28 that were to get hired at United Health, I was not one of them. At least now I know why. Its actually is a little comfort knowing there is nothing I really can do about it. That came out wrong- the comfort is in knowing I do interview well, hence me having 2nd and 3rd interviews and just not getting them because of some number. Yeah the number is my fault but I can't fix it right now. Anyways now I just have to concentrate on regaining my Property and Casualty license (just gotta save up for the exam fees, renewal fees, courses/hours fees- the exam itself is easy.)and try to land a job at an Eastwood, Adrianas or some place like that. I don't know if its knowing its my credit or the fact I have been thinking a lot clearer this last week about myself that I'm not bummed and primed to hit a bar. I have come to understand I have lots of outs left. In hold 'em, outs are cards that still give you a shot at winning the hand. I know I still have some...

Speaking of my job status I had promised some car insurance advice- here are a few tips; In California, its against the law to discriminate based on age. So auto insurance companies are not allowed to use age as a factor. So the whole thing about insurance dropping once you turn 25 is not exactly true in this state- no matter what the schmoe at the insurance company you got insurance at tells you. In California they care about how long you have been licensed. So if you were licensed at the age of 16, then yes the 25 yr old thing would still apply. If you moved from New York, Chicago, or somewhere where the public transportation system was good and there was no need for a license and you're 25, not so much. If you first get your license at 25, you will have the same experience rate as a 16 yr old teenager (if you think about it, it makes sense right?) So if you have a kid close to being of legal driving age, get them their license-even if you aren't gonna let them drive till like they are 18 or something. on paper it will count as driving experience even though he/she hasn't driven. This is important because the major discount in California is the California Good Driver discount and you need 3 yrs of driving experience to qualify for it (also no more than one ticket or at fault non injury accident and no DUIs within the last 10 yrs)

Also California allows insurance companies to offer discounts based on your occupation- so if you're an account executive, office manager, lawyer, software engineer, etc... and you're with a company that doesn't offer this type of discount, you might be getting screwed. Normally its the bigger companies, (all state, GEICO, State Farm, Progressive etc.. that offer these discounts). Sorry bartenders, migrant workers, waiters, police officers, cashiers- you don't qualify in most cases.

Package your insurance policies- even if you don't own a home, having renter's insurance isn't only a good idea especially if you live in a somewhat shiesty area, but it could drop your auto insurance as well. You all should have known this one by now.

Double check your mileage- now I'm not gonna tell you to not be forthwright, but a lot of these companies now allow you to adjust your annual mileage on line. If you own multiple vehicles do you really drive each one at least 12k a year? of course not. You split the mileage evenly and drive them both 6k a year right? And if you only own one car, you carpool right? to do your part for the environment? Also think of all the cab drives you take on weekends. Do you really drive 15k-20k a year? Or is it more like 9K a year? You miscalculated the distance between work right? its not really a 30 miles one way. Its only 10... Sure some might end up asking for proof that you only drive so much, but then these are the companies you shouldnt be giving your business to if they arent gonna take your word for it.

Don't just take your agents word for the coverages you need, remember they have to make money off of you. question each coverage and each coverage limit. Or fuck it ask me.

I'm off to the gym, zoo, donate some money to help out with homeless children's halloween party, and have a beer for Jared's speedy recovery. Jared's in the military and all of his friends just found out he was wounded in action. Go thank a Veteran for their part in letting you lead the life you do.

Hey Ladies Fans

So tonight I found myself in downtown at some bar called the Local. Not too bad a place. I had always driven by it and always wanted to check it out. They have a good beer special on Mondays if you like bud light, dollar off if you want the pricey stuff. I also noticed that Wednesdays is trivia night where they have 10 buck pitchers of most domestics and also of Dos Equis, so if anyone is ever down to watch the display that is me acting like I know every answer when I don't, let me know. They have a pretty good selection of local brews as well. I will need to stay away from Thursday as that night they have their stone pale ale special at 3 bucks a pint... I am practicing this whole moderation thing and tonight was a success. After 2 pints I switched to water, ate, saw that Tony Romo got injured and bailed. He was on my fantasy football team and the only reason I decided to go out was to check to see if he could bring me the glory. Nope.
Anyways as is always the case being downtown and close to Little Italy reminded me of this dating tale. It occurred not to long ago I wanna say in January. A friend from work and me were at this place called the blue foot on a Tuesday night and began talking to these ladies who were dressed like they had just gotten off of work. They were also apparently very intoxicated. Well one of them and me started to hit it off. Her name was Adrian. I refrained from what I can only assume was a tired Rocky reference of yelling out "Adrian" in an attempted Sylvester Stallone voice. We were talking shit to each other about the jobs we had, the music we listened to, and the beers we drank.Now I love me a good beer, but when the objective is to have more than a few,I prefer bud light-well cuz I'm always trying to watch my figure. haha no. its cuz its economical for me. Have you not noticed how much I drink? I would have been homeless a lot sooner by now if I always drank Hef or New Castle or Stone. She was also in disbelief that she had met someone named Roy. "Who's named Roy nowadays? thats like a dog's name- isn't their dog food named Roy's or something?" haha. There is I think-good one. She was also from Pennsylvania and when I mentioned I had been there a few times and liked it, that seemed to grab her attention. I also told her the PA story I just put up here on this blog and it went over well. The rest of her party kept trying to pull her away to call it a night but she was refusing for awhile. They would look at me disapprovingly even though I was only doing harmless small talk bullshit type banter. Anyways they finally succeeded but before she left (at this point she was wasted) she tells me I should get her number. How do I know she was wasted? Because I had already asked and gotten her number. As she was walking out she mentioned something about living in Little Italy and that we should meet up for a drink sometime closer to there. She also mentioned something about the Mexican Consulate, but at the time I really wasn't able to hear what she had said- I just assumed it being in Little Italy as well, that she was trying to say she lived by there. I remember I worked like 13 hours on Wednesday so I was too tired to call or text her and decided just to give her a call on Thursday. After calling her Thursday and talking for a bit we decide on Friday we should meet up for a drink at this place called Anthology. They usually also have live music so it was sounding like it would be a good time. I get there first and decide of course to have a quick drink before she arrived. She actually got there at the time she was said she was (not that thats important because I am usually always late). But as I go to greet her I can tell something has confused her. "Roy?"
"yeah, why do I somehow look different?"
" oh no, I was just making sure..."
I go ahead and ask her whats she's having and she orders a martini. We start to talking for a little bit and its going pretty much like Tuesday. Then she brings up what she had said about Mexican Consulate again. Turns out she was talking shit about all the fuckin mexicans who are always lined up in the morning and how they all are rude and never let her walk through on the way to work. She was lucky enough to work and live in Little Italy. She then starts pretty much going off on Mexicans and Mexico overall- its dirty, they're dirty, third world country... I just started laughing and shaking my head. Of course I would get a date with a bigot. She then realizes I am Mexican. She would later tell me when she saw me again she had hoped I was Italian or Middle Eastern and that she had been thrown off by the fact my name was Roy. Yeah, because all Mexicans are named either Jorge Juan or Felipe, I guess. Anyways I just start to laugh order her another round and tell her it had been a pleasure but that maybe we should cut our losses. She sheepishly smiled tried to pay for her own drinks, but at this point I wasn't even mad- I was impressed at this new dating folly so I just paid the tab and headed off to meet D at the Turf.

Either this was one of the most extremely rude ways to cut short a date on purpose or I now know why her friends had been giving me a disapproving look at the Blue Foot.


I'm not gonna talk about your background or your origins. Who am I kidding? Thats exactly what I'm gonna talk about...
This song came on the itunes today and I decided to post it for the Russians who for some reason- I'm its sure the excellent videos actually- keep checking this page out. I'm now concerned this is on some spies like us tip so if I ever go missing, try looking for me in St Petersburg...

Ill Mitch- Hey Ladies Fan. props to Sag for discovering this possibly Russian-most likely not- rapper.

I got 5 on it

Last night scratched off another legendary group from the still need to see list. Pete Rock and CL Smooth. They are best known for the classic T.R.O.Y., but they have plenty of other classic songs. Also Pete Rock is a legendary producer- not a legendary MC, we could live without his attempt to rap, kind of like I should live without my attempt to write- but anyways, A member of the group LMNO was right in front of us during the show and like my cousin pointed out, he was so blazed it was like he was sleepwalking. His eyes were basically closed and he could have been mistaken for a zombie. As if he had smoked the Frankenstein weed from Grandma's boy. The show was the end to an action packed day which began with a trip to the gym, then some basketball by the beach ala king and duck, then my kid's school carnival, and finally the show. This had me on my feet or running around for the better part of 12 hours. Which made me decide to go ahead and be god like and take the 7th day off (today) to rest. While waiting for Pete and CL to come on the DJ played a nice playlist from back in the day. Why because the majority of the people at this concert would be around my age. I dragged my cousins along and they were joking on the way that they would most likely be the youngest people there. Which other than maybe a couple of other girls there, they might have been right. Anyways one of the songs that came on was, you guessed it this luniz joint (ha get it- yeah I'm a dork). Anyways it got me to thinking- I am a failed ganja, herb, or stick if you will, smoker. There are just too many reasons why I am. So I stay away. You wanna read about it?

Ok here we go. Please note for all you non smokers and Nancy Reagans, these stories are years old- we're talking high school times. Again this is one thing I have been retired from for a long ass time. I'm not smoking it and blowing it into my kids' faces nowadays...

First of all, it makes me pass out. Once while in PB it got passed to me and not wanting to spoil the puff puff pass flow, went and hit it. I was told not 15 minutes later I had gone to pass out in my buddy's room. Which he wouldn't had minded so much if his girlfriend hadn't been drunk and gone to go pass out herself and didn't realize she had been sleeping next to me until a few hours later... But more commonly would be the times friends would come over to my apartment, want to get blazed and watch a movie and I'd pass out 10 minutes into Anchor Man, the aforementioned grandma's boy, Old School... So its no fun when all I end up doing is going to sleep. Although the last special lady friend I had was all about it and supposedly there are strains that actually do the opposite. I find this hard to believe...

Second, on the occasions I don't pass out, it voids me of any rational eating restraints. Once back during the pizza hut days, we went to a friend's after work with like 6 pizzas. They decided to try whats called a bucket bong, which is a bucket fashioned to be used for smoking. Well after a few hits of that, I got hungry and proceeded to consume at least 3 of those pizzas by myself in about 10 minutes. 10 minutes later I would be leaning over the balcony puking it all up. I am pretty sure I was laughing the whole time while puking too, which leads me to the final reason;

I have a ridiculous and obnoxious laugh when I'm not higher than eagle nuts, so just imagine when I am. Once while hanging out with a friend- who is a frequent user- in OB, we were wrapping up a night of drinking by going to enjoy a burrito. Well while waiting for our order I notice something fall out of some dude's pocket. It turns out it was what I would guess a couple of grams or more of the green- I dunno when it comes to weed I don't know the measurements by eye. Anyways knowing my buddy is a fan I quickly pushed it with my foot towards me scooped it up and surprised him with it when the dude that had dropped it was gone. We then for some reason proceed to go to another buddy's house- we'll just call him "joe" for security reasons- so that they could enjoy my finding. Well they convince me to try it since I had been the one to find it so I went with it. Well this "Joe" character starts talking about how his roommates can't believe he hates Tiger Woods (this was pre finding out he had cheated on his wife, when it seemed he was just a good ol' fashion nerd) At one point his story goes to how they are watching a tournament and Tiger is winning and from nowhere his roommates' dad goes to "Joe"
"HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS GUY! REALLY HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS GUY?"
Obviously sometimes when you're stoned anything remotely funny is gonna trigger hardcore laughter. The way "Joe" had told the story with the culmination of him trying to impersonate a confused old man got me rolling. I didn't stop laughing at the top of my lungs for a solid ten to 15 minutes. My ridiculous and obnoxious laugh triggered them to start dying laughing. It woke up his room mates apparently. It was actually noted on the facebook when it occurred. "Joe" posted something to my wall about my laughter, I replied and his room mate ended up replying;
"That awful sound was his laughter? Me and (his special lady friend) thought it was some animal out in the wild that was dying..."

So for these reasons I find it best to stay away from this drug... Enjoy your Monday morning...

I'll Be OK

"As long as I know right from wrong I'll be ok I'll sing my songs..."

My new daily routine-
wake up at 8am, scour the internet for jobs with 16 oz of coffee in hand, write, maybe write a little more, proceed to my Hershal Walker exercise plan that consists of sets of push ups (100 total), sit ups (200 total). Maybe have some oatmeal/honey nut cheerios/frosted flakes, all this while listening to music, posting bs on the face, ignoring phone calls from bill collectors, and drinking 3 pints of water. Then hit the gym where I do 4 to 5 miles of exercise either on the treadmill or elliptical, then shoot some ball for a half hour maybe play a game or two, and into the sauna for 20 minutes. leave the gym and do an extra exercise like rockin the zoo, hitting up cowles mountain, or head back to the gym for more bball shooting. comeback drink 3 or 4 more pints of water, shower, get antsy just sitting here, maybe write some more, def listen to more music, plan to stay in, get a call or text from someone heading out, debate for 5 mins if I should go out, go out, get drunk, eat at denny's (southern omelette with hash browns has 1070 calories and 80 grams of fat... wow man wow.), or stay in watch the history channel or 48hours try to go to sleep around midnight, give up get out of bed head to the tv/computer room stay up till 4, fall asleep on the couch wake up around 6 head to bed, wake up at 8am. repeat Have I mentioned I discovered my love of fishing?

Speaking of the Gym, tonight's conversation with Sofia;
" Why do you go to the gym so much?"
" Because I am getting healthy and skinny"
" So- When's that gonna happen?"

:/ hahaha


...Christ I tried to replicate the drivel of other blogs but I just couldn't. back to my own version of drivel...



Last night was what going out should be about. I met up with Nick and Brian at some bar and grill in Mira Mesa. To skip the traffic that is Mira Mesa Blvd. I decided to get off on Carroll Canyon rd. That got me a little pissed. Carroll Canyon road is the exit that my work used to be off. Bitterness, anger, regret, all set in and for a moment I thought it was gonna ruin the night. Nick asked me the other day if I was done grieving over the loss of my job. Up until last night I don't think I had. Carroll Canyon is also where Brandon works. He is a construction worker and they are expanding the off ramp. I was still thinking about the AG all the way to the bar and as I sat down. But 30 seconds in and we were all laughing. It didn't turn into a night of drinking to forget, or as a temporary band aid for me. It was a true honest good night. Laughing the whole time at Callahan's, watching the Giants lose to the Phillies- our conversation are epic and ridiculous.
" your weiner is like a petri dish"
" It felt like I was doing my mattress"
"who's that hot chic pitching for the Giants?"
"1 pm on Wednesdays peak time to speak to Brian..."
hahaha man. It a great feeling to know I have two guys like these that not only put up with my moodiness, retardeness, drunkeness, (insert whatever else I maybe missing) but make it go away, without having to really talk about anything. I actually have a couple of other friends like that but last night it was these two. The party moved on to Patricks in Poway where we conversed on Slavic history, The civil War, the downfall of the USA, how lame politics are (democrats, repubs and everyone in between), and management styles and why the corporate world sucks. Then proceeded to getting shot down by girls and sobering up at Denny's eating, having some coffee talking to our usual waiter. We realized we were the only ones inside of Denny's last night (how you come up with the name swollen members? drunk at Denny's!)Thats what an outing should be about. not getting stupid, not not knowing what you were doing, drinking till a debate about whether you should get hauled off to detox, etc... Remembering the whole night with the cool people you have the privilege to call friends and waking up regretting the trip to denny's. Only improvement really would be the whole getting shot down thing. haha.


to the waiter- " you're awesome!"
his reply? " Naw Man you guys are Awesome!"


I'll be Ok from Aesop Rock featuring Slug because with friends like these I know I will be.

this quote is what I feel about my friends, though I am both the crazy and the drunk...

"General Grant is a great general. I know him well. He stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk; and now, sir, we stand by each other always.".

Full Moon

My buddy Stacey has this band made up of mostly his other siblings and this song reminds me of them. Not because he's always forgetting his lyrics and tripping over the mic chord, but just the sound. So much so I have told him I have a song they need to cover- I just keep forgetting to let him know...


Besides french fries, I am also addicted to cashews, anything gummy like worms, bears, gummi starbursts, etc... and watchamacallits- or however you spell them. Some are thinking " you're missing a couple of other issues dude." but really I'm not. The dip is really only done out of boredom and hunger suppression. I figure since smokers usually gain weight when they quit, people who start up tobacco lose weight. How is the logic flawed there? But like I said in a previous post, I'm in the process of giving it up- don't like the notoriety of being a dipper. Plus I realized a couple of weeks ago I found myself excusing myself from the table at Tompkins square to get a dip in and thats right on the verge of actual addiction so I have decided I needed to chill out. I had never done that. The alcohol usually is only done in a social setting. I'm not sitting here typing away downing a bottle of bacardi every night. Or every other night for that matter, or even on a monthly basis. I know youre pointing to pretty much ever post on this blog. Damn it... Hmm. I'll take the terms binge drinker or functioning alcoholic- not full blown alcoholic or alcohol addict. Good Henry Clay type of compromise... (Henry Clay check out some history for the love of God)

I was perusing the reader last night between handfuls of cashews, and decided the writing is subpar. Trying to be all newsworthy and shit. But not in a good way. I think I could be a helluva lot more entertaining. I think what is preventing that though is my lack of grammar or my lack of caring about it. Punctuating, paragraph breaks, " article manuscript" formats, are just so constricting. But really I shouldn't devoid the masses with this great shit, so I'm debating on hiring on an intern to be my grammar/format editor. A la Vandelay industries. The pay wouldn't be much- fries, cashews, gummisavers, dips from my cans, maybe a beer, chicken hotdogs, an autographed headshot, and maybe a cut of any proceeds I would get out of a job that their editing skills got published. Oh and of course all the hip hop they could listen to...

I found my folder from my english class I took in Monterey. My english professor loved me. I remember every- and I mean every essay I wrote she read to the class. I had an A in the class right up until... The required research paper. With its bibliography, keywords, citations, and all the other bullshit they had you put in it. The length of the research paper was never the problem. It was lame that if you didnt turn one in to the required specs you werent passing the class. Again the shit was too constricting. So I never got around with bothering with any of that shit. Funny how years later for reports and audits I had to do for my last job I would easily throw it all on there. But not on a paper I wrote about the band the roots (that's right my research paper was on a hip hop group- add that to my addictions I guess). I remember her pulling me aside and basically telling me to drop the class before she had to fail me. She told me she had loved everything I wrote and that I should pursue it and I just needed to nail down the technical aspects of it. I felt back then, (I guess much like I do now) that I was gonna write how I knew how to write and that I was gonna stick to writing on what I knew. Plus to me it was just a past time, I was concentrating on being a bad ass history teacher- as bad ass as a history teacher could be I guess but anyways now that I do it on the daily I want to give the research paper another shot. So once I get back on track, I'm gonna hit up a community college near you and be that old guy people think is just there out of boredom or is maybe a Johnny Depp 21 jump street undercover police officer type of dude that happened to be the youngest so the squad had no choice but to select him for the assignment.

And if given the topic choice on the research paper, its gonna be on Atmosphere...

Live - Iris

It was pouring last night, which was cool cuz it added to the overall feel of Night of the living dead. I can't believe I had never seen this movie- I had always only seen parts of it and never bothered to even check out how it ended. good flick.

It's Tuesday and I have an action packed day of drinking water, going to the gym, maybe walking around the zoo solo again, and maybe hitting up a taco tuesday spot. Sleep has been a precious commodity for me these last few weeks and so whenever I get what I consider a full night's rest (5-6 hours), I feel like I gotta take advantage of my well restness. I skipped searching for a job today. Gonna give the previous jobs a couple of days to respond. Also its a mental break for me in not having to think if a company is gonna call or email me for an interview. I'm constantly checking email and checking voicemail, and sometimes that shit is too much.

Plus I am busy concocting the plot to My American me death and my Mexican me resurgence. I figure I am gonna have to start talking about my new found love of fishing (although I have never- not once- ever caught one single one of them motherfuckers.) I think that might be a record for how old you are and not having ever caught a fish. But back to my set up to dying off. Seeing as I'm not about to dig a body up to replace me in a wicked car fire, I need to have it so that I get lost at sea and get considered dead without a body. So that's where my love of fishing comes into play. I figure 2 weeks of new found enjoyment of fishing (where I better fucking at least catch one to ensure validity in my story)I figure I begin talking about a "fishing trip" I'm gonna take on my own, rent a boat and head out to catch me some yellow tail. Then never come back again! This is where I need your guy's help. Just roll with it. Maybe I'm dead, maybe I'm not, just go to the funeral, pay your respects and call it a night. Hell I'll throw in some money for a couple of kegs and some eating. Just go enjoy yourselves and make it look legit. Maybe shed a tear or two, or at least wear black. You'll understand if I don't make this shin dig as I'll be in Veracruz trying to set up my new Mexican me life with the birth certificate I happen to have showing I was born down there. Yeah the sadness will be this blog having to come to an end, maybe the kids being a little confused, maybe this being a little illegal and me ending up being wanted, but hey its worth a shot. I figure I'll get a job somewhere in Mexico City as like a file clerk in some law office, work my way up, build my credit, buy a law degree off some university, obtain a visa and head back on up as an aspiring 35 yr old Mexican lawyer trying to get admitted into the CA State Bar. I figure it will only take 3 years to make this comeback. This will work I am sure- its like bullet proof.

So in 3 years just go ahead and accept a friend request from a Ray Vasquez. Maybe catch Ray's blog " Mi nueva manera de llamar borracho..."

Iris by Live from what I must say a solid album called Throwing Copper. Selling the drama, Lighnting crashes, Pillar of Davidson all came from this album.

Beck - Broken Drum

My body just got back from LA, but other than some good interviews it was really like I wasn't there. Why? because I spent the majority of the time acting a fool. It's like a waste of a trip- when you're surrounded by cool people and you have no recollection of it. Can't say I have never done that, but I can say than I'm tired of it. The funny part is that the most I remember was when I was at the Joxer Daly conversing with some complete strangers. It was a cool conversation and all, but that was Thursday night. Friday night the east county came out of me I guess- how the fuck that happened who knows (actually I do know the pre drinking followed by the sasquatches.)Anyways, and feelin bad about the previous evening just got me to rise and shine it with the Bacardi on Saturday. And well again no real memory of that other than Wes handing me one of his shirts to put on. I guess I could say I was really there for the interviews, but that's bullshit I know it. I just didn't take advantage of hanging with you all. I need to stick to beer (and no not a 30 pack of beer). maybe 10. 10 sounds good. Maybe eat more than once a day. Anyways just had to talk shit about my poor showing this weekend.
I had follow up interviews today from the interviews I had on Thursday. Other than being tired from the lack of sleep, they were what I thought were another round of excellent interviews. Fresno though is looking like a long shot though, The realm of worker's comp is foreign to me and while its not that complicated, I got the vibe from the dude today, he wants someone who has actually once touched a worker's comp policy. But The Cypress job is looking good still. Or at least it was. The only thing that got me bummed a little bit was a call I got from a Liberty Mutual recruiter today. She wanted to push me for a commercial underwriting spot and my resume was what she told me they were looking for. Then she asked me about any issues I might have with a background and credit check. Told her no issues with my background, though my credit is a little dicey. She then proceeded to let me know the standard with companies that look into credit history. Bam! I now realize why I have been getting to 2nd and 3rd interviews only to not get the job. I have exactly two accounts I have stopped paying on because they deal with the house. That is 1 too many apparently- especially for Liberty Mutual, but she reiterated that its pretty much the standard. So I will know it will be credit that screws me in this Cypress spot. United Health group is pretty big and I can only assume they would use the regular credit check standard. So that had me sitting here contemplating my move to Mexico to become a doorman. Or my move to Argentina to become a guacho. I really did take time to think about it. My jobs skills are ones that require good credit. I understand that. So that really would leave me with no other option than to say adios to the corporate world. At least until I could repair the credit a bit. Or kill my American self off and come back with my Mexican birth certificate. Mom's isnt too keen on the idea of my new life as a Mexican actually living in Mexico, but I'm thinking as a side job I could round up a bunch of little kids and have them sell chiclets for me. Be on some third world multi level marketing shit.

Oh maybe the only other thing I remember from Saturday;
Puya- " So you actually go to the zoo by yourself?"
Me- " Sadly yes- I go to change up the gym workout- it's hilly at the zoo..." or some drunken babble like that. haha.

I'm off to hydrate before hitting the gym. Any little positive needs to continue...

Beck- Broken Drum. Maybe my favorite track from his catalog.

saafir - light sleepers

So I just got back from poker- I've cashed 3 times in a row now. Funny how much better I am when I play sober. I didn't win it all today, I came in second. But anyways more importantly, I have a logistics issue right now. I am doing laundry because I have to head up to LA tomorrow for 3 interviews. One in Glendale, One in Cypress and one by LAX. I also have an interview on Friday somewhere up there- I think Glendale as well. Dunno have to double check the itinerary. It starts with 9 am in Glendale, then an 1130 by LAX, and finally a 2:30 one in Cypress. The Cypress one is really the most important one because I have already passed the exams and an interview. I figure this one should be the final one. They also told me to be prepared to stay there for like 2 hours. The Glendale one is for a position in Fresno actually. I applied for this position back in May. I remember because it was the last thing I did (apply for this spot) in the morning before heading off to Hugo's cruise. They just now replied. They were again originally looking for someone with a degree, but haven't found a person. I think it has to do with Fresno the city, but anyways me having done everything the job qualifications required minus the degree, they finally gave me a call. Or so the Company's recruiter says. I'm really just gonna use it as a tune up for the one in Cypress. Now I just need to figure out if its possible to get from Glendale to LAX in 45 minutes or less. Haven't bothered checking but I don't want to know really. I am also figuring that I need to leave by 530 this morning to make it in time to Glendale. But I'm doing laundry. Maybe I should have left tonight, but I had money to win. The Irony in all this? I'm fucking beat.I would be sleeping by now if I hadn't forgotten to do laundry. So a rare night where I would have gone to sleep around midnight is turning into a night where I might get 3 hours of sleep if I'm lucky. I can't do those 5 hours energy drinks either. Last time I had one, I almost died. I was trying to help Joel move, but I ended up on the sidelines for most of it. So I'm leery of even trying to have another one of those especially when my day is gonna be action packed.

So seeing as I have to wait for my laundry, I am just busy right now listening to some Pete Rock and Cl Smooth to get ready for the show next weekend. I have never seen them- they actually broke up back in the 90's and have just recently rejoined forces. Later next week I will throw up their classic hit T.R.O.Y....

Since Saturday I have gone up Cowles Mountain 4 times. Thats a 3 mile jaunt round trip. I also have gone 5 days of doing the hills cycle on the elliptical for 4 miles. and ran another 5 miles on the treadmill. also have played basketball for 3 of them days. Oddly my body doesn't feel too bad right now. So that's 35 miles I have traveled not counting the basketball. Which was my goal. Yesterday I didn't think I was gonna accomplish it, but I actually did and it feels pretty good. I dunno I figure I could sit here and listen to music or exercise and listen to music. Its also been an impressive run of 10 days that I haven't drank. Which will come to an end tomorrow regardless of how the interviews go. Why? either in celebration or in lament I figure. Hugo wants to go up Cowles mountain Saturday so we'll see if that holds true. Normally I wouldnt have bothered typing this shit up but seeing as I have nothing to do, I thought I share what I have been doing this week... I think the wash cycle is done so I am off to throw the load into the dryer.

Light Sleeper, by Saafir. because I dunno how much sleep I'm getting tonight.

The Williams

I just got back from the 7-11. helped some guy complete a purchase. He was short and me having the extra amount, laughed and told him to pay it forward one day. Haha,he just laughed. When I worked at Mobil I initiated my own loss prevention tactic. Back then for some reason Mobil had cigarette displays full of packs out front where anyone who wanted could basically steal them at the first distraction. I would always end up being short a few Newports (in a box or hard pack if you will) and Marlboro lights. It was very easy to distract me- you just had to feign interest in the song I would be playing inside my little cage.
"That Tupac?"
" Naw man its Pete Rock and CL Smooth- They Reminsce over you."
"Oh. its nice"
"Yeah you've never heard of them here let me show you the CD..."
I would turn around and bam- 2 packs of cigs gone.
True conversation.
Well I finally caught on and seeing as it was usually the same cats, I decided one day to tell them. Hey if you don't have the money today, just pay me next time. I became the credit for the store. Soon I'd say about 5 of these guys- some of them I thought would never come back after this deal- would not only come back and pay me back regularly, they would pass the word and tell their other cronies not to be jacking my shit. Pretty soon my cigs were always matching and the problem seemed to die down. These cats would also sometimes be hungry and thirsty so fountain drinks and sandwiches became a part of this. Was this a smart tactic? Probably not, but hey it ended up working. Most of them lived across the street in some apartments so it wasn't like I didn't know where they lived, plus I warned them if my count was ever off whenever they came in, this credit thing would end. I was never too worried about them paying me back for the fountain drinks, but they would pay me back for everything else. There also was the guy who came in every week to hose down and clean up the station. We worked out a deal- free fountain drinks and sandwiches for him, and he would fix up minor details of my S-10. He ended up giving me a truck bedliner once that didnt quite fit, but I appreciated the gesture. Fixed my door, fixed my ceiling liner, changed my oil once- it was a good deal. I dunno I guess I just have faith in people to recognize when someone is looking out for them and figured that would get them to pay me back. These were the type of people that had been stereotyped I figured and having someone give them, I dunno a chance, respect, I dunno whatever it was a pack of cig or a sandwich on credit and faith in them that they would pay back, gave them, was something they weren't used to. One of them would sometimes buy me two 40's for giving him a ride to his night job (I was not of age yet) after I was off. It's funny to me how I put faith in people that normally no one else did and that realistically I shouldn't have, and how these people came through for me and the faith I had given them. Then when it came to the corporate world how I put my faith in people you would expect to pull through for you when it mattered and those people didn't. I guess it's just another example of not assuming the worst in people and not taking people's fakeness for real value. There was even one guy named Fred who everyone hated because he really wasn't a good guy. But even he would come in and pay me back and actually thanked me for doing him a solid. He you could tell have a rough life, so much so, he later ended up taking his own life. How sad. I wonder what if maybe more people had put more faith in him or tried more to understand him and talk to him to see if he could turn his life around. Maybe that's just too much faith to have in people. But it had to be a worth a shot right? Who knows maybe he would have ended up in prison. But at least I guess he would still be alive. Unless of course he would have ended up taking some one else's life...

Well that's all I have tonight. I just figured I'd write cuz like Murs says, If I don't write everyday, I might lose a fan...

The amount I covered for the guy tonight? 4 whole cents- hence the reason why he laughed when I told him to pay it forward. Kind of shocked the cashier at the Sev wouldn't just let him be that short but hey different strokes for different folks I guess. haha don't know if that saying even applies here. haha When in Rome...

The Williams by Nicolay and a rapper named Supastition. Really its about Nicolay's beats. I just found another good one from him and Darien Brockington and I'm putting that one on the facebook. I'm off to brush up on some Health Insurance terminology...

Times Up

I am just sitting here. Got back from the gym about it an hour and a half ago and the kids requested I do their laundry again. They wanna make sure they have something to wear in the morning. Haha. Ok. I can't blame them I remember being like that too back in the day. Especially right after we moved from East San Diego to Santee. Our attire was not up to these white folk's standards. It was all about Mossimo, Gotcha, quiksilver- shit like that and shorts. Here I was straight from pretty much the hood and rocking le tigre and other fake lacoste and Izod polos, sometimes with khakis, sometimes with sweats. Yeah I was the fat kid in the sweats. I of course didn't want to be that kid, but due to circumstances outta of my control, mainly my mom threatening violence if I didnt wear what she had bought, I had to be. I remember the first time I wore shorts to school was in Santee. It was just too hot out here to be rocking sweats and khakis on the daily. I only had the guidance of when I would see the vatos from back in the old neighborhood wear shorts. They would pull their socks all the way up- even if they had stripes at the top. So I decided to go with that approach. As soon as I get to school this cat named Mike, who actually tried his damnest to get me to assimilate to the suburban life when I first moved there, tells me
" Hey dude, pull your socks down."
I was confused. Why? Was it because I wasn't wearing a wife beater to go along with the shorts? you pull your socks down when you're wearing a fake alligator polo? Up with a wife beater? Or up when you're just wearing a white on top? or Down if you don't have tatoos and up if you do? Or does the tattoo have to be of the virgin Mary or other religious figure? Maybe it just has to be a female or female's name? Up with cursive tattoo writing, down with Block writing? Up with a Jail Tattoo, down with Professionally done one? Up when you're wearing shades? Or is he just messing with me? It's always up right and he is just checking to make sure I don't make the mistake of pulling them down?
" Pull your socks down, dude trust me."
Ok. He had advised me twice and everything else he had done prior hadn't been made to mock me so I did. This was in the morning. by the end of recess whatever hood instincts I had were telling me the socks down thing was not cool. what if a vato came cruising along into the school and saw me with my socks down? I couldn't let him see me like that. So I pulled them back up. Hood restored. a few minutes later from Mike;
" Hey Roy really pull your socks down and keep them down..."
God Damn it. alright. Now I was in a bind. Adjust to how people wear their socks here and risk someone from the hood hearing about and or seeing this, or don't and risk being the outkast here just a couple months after I had moved. So I pulled them back down with the plan on pulling them up every so often and then down again. Right before lunch I pull them up. No one noticed throughout lunch or the recess period after lunch, So it was all cool. Until we had to line up to get back in class. I am leaning up against the class room wall when I hear Mike.
"Alight dude I'm gonna do it for you and I'm gonna hide them gay stripes too."
So He bends down and starts folding my socks for me, making sure the colored stripes are hidden. He then proceeds to tell me I should only wear white socks- no stripes with shorts and that I should always roll them down. Thats just how its done here. I figured if a kid is gonna go ahead and go through the trouble of actually pulling down your socks for you and take the time to pull them down so no stripes are showing, maybe I should just listen to his fashion advice. Too bad he couldn't do anything about the lame ass sweaters I would wear that said ridiculous bullshit like;
" Warning! I'm a party animal"
"I know you are but what am I?"
"Don't bother me till I've had my first cup of coffee..."
which really, the last one didn't make sense for me to have to wear because I didn't drink coffee back then. Anyways I believe it wasn't until 6th grade where I finally got a say in what the fuck I wore. Of course everything was too expensive so I had to settle for the lesser brands but at least I finally got rid of the khakis, sweats, and ridiculous sweaters.

I also remember a few weeks after moving to Santee a conversation bewteen 3 white kids sitting at the same lunch table as me. One of them asked...
"Alright what colors do Crips wear and what color do Bloods wear?"
I was thinking colors? really its just Blue and Red. They aren't fashion gangs- they don't accessorize. Anyways obviously to me the shit was second nature- even in east san diego this shit a was well known fact- skyline , Valencia Park = bloods, barrio market, shelltown = crips (no nothing like LA gangs but then what is I guess and I'm not even sure if this is right anymore but back then I knew...), but these other two kids were clueless.
" you guys don't know?" asked the gang conversation starter, getting all proud that he knew but that they didn't. He proceeds to tell them.
" Crips wear blue and white and Bloods wear Red and Black."
" Aaah, I knew that I just forgot it..."

Apparently Mr. Gang authority here had just watched himself some colors and was trying to organize his own Santee branch. I believe he was gonna ally himself with the gang whose colors looked best on him...

A couple of months ago I was hanging with Mike at his house (I wrote about it) and this guy had the audacity to call me the whitest Mexican he ever knew. Well it's partly your fault, dude.

O.C.'s Times up because "you lack the minerals and vitamins, the iron and the niacins" to hang with me at 1:30 in the AM on a Sunday.

No Comparison

The fries were eaten, unfortunately some with ketchup, the kids put to bed, the kitchen has been cleaned up, laundry is in the dryer, and Sofia's homework has been checked with a note on what to correct for in the morning when she wakes up. Am I usually this awesome? No. About a solid 70% of the time though. I had Sofia do all her homework today even though its not due till next Friday, well because I wanted to check it. Give the ex a break. Which leads me thanking Luie from a conversation we had a couple of months back at Baja Cantina (30 dollar pitchers of Margaritas? Really?)Anyways ever since I have only been getting my kids every other week, My ex has kind of been giving my kids rules to follow when they are at my house. They aren't bad rules, they deal with minor things such as drinking water daily and not drinking any soda. It felt like she was relaying messages to the kids and I didn't even want the inclination for the kids to feel like it was some sort of competition between their mom and me. I also didn't want her to think that when they are here thats its a free for all. I didn't want her to feel like she was the strict one and I was the fun one. So I called her- the majority of the time we converse through text, but those can be misconstrued and I didn't want to come off as being upset. I wasn't. I honestly don't ever remember instigating any fights with her. Now my actions? Different story. So I called her and finally let her know to avoid any type of feelings the kids might have about this, that she should call me and let me know. We have spoken about this before- the soda thing- and my stance misguided as it maybe is that they are kids and that I have them out doing physical activities to offset anything they consume here. Now I'm not even the one that buys the soda, its grandma. So I just asked she call me to discuss these things directly to avoid putting the kids in the middle. She was cool and understood- way cool. I just feel we shouldn't do our own thing, we should and have to raise them together. We obviously have different views on plenty of things but we need to be able to come to compromises right? Like for instance...

After the kids came back Danny asked me to update the music on his phone. Last time some music got on accidently that shouldnt have been on there (Mobb Deep for instance)to his credit he didn't bother listening to it. I try to pick songs where the language isn't so questionable. Again as misguided as it maybe, I have no problem with the occasional curse word in a song for him as long as its being used in a creative context and not just for fuck's sake. haha. Plus he's mature beyond his years and knows not to spout off anything he hears. I know this must rub her the wrong way but hey if I'm gonna keep good hip hop alive it has to start with my kids right? Its mostly atmosphere, the roots, the foreign exchange, 9th wonder, Pearl Jam ( He loves him some Even Flow), Little Brother, Murs, Common, etc... The laid back stuff I listen to pretty much- but the occasional curse word does come out. I know some of you parents are like "Christ, really Roy?" But again I have to emphasize that Danny is not your average kid. He knows not to say them. I just had to add the rule that no matter how much he thought his friends would like the song, he can't share them. Don't need a parent giving me a call or worse telling their kids not to hang out with him anymore. So song by song I thought would be ok I played for him while he was playing PS3, he either gave the thumbs up or the thumbs down. He did a good job. What was the first thing after we were done selecting songs? He took the phone and went to his room to go listen to the songs we just had picked. My Boy! haha...

I know the pain of smokers who have to leave a bar or restaurant to go have their nicotine fix. Since I have started dipping again, I don't allow myself to dip in front of them so I usually head for the backyard and spend sometime back there doing my thing. I think the water and dip diet is gonna just become the water diet. I am planning on this can being the last one. I keep thinking how idiotic it would be if I actually got into shape and months later, Bam mouth cancer. So this is the last can. I have to be honest and say that I'm rationing it like a man on a deserted island with only a couple of oranges left. You know, to prevent scurvy...

I was playing basketball today and I had two ringers on my team. it was them and two other guys who thought because they played there daily they automatically deserved to get the ball on every possession. so after about the 4th trip down, they decided to stop trying. So it was basically 3 on 5. how lame. It was one of them that had asked me to play and I had to exert extra effort to cover any extra guy? BS. I would have understood if the ringers were missing shots but they weren't they were on fire. I was fine with it- I'm used to be the fat guy to fight for offensive rebounds and score that way and I did on the occasion they missed. I'm just saying if the oldest fattest guy on the court is still trying even though he knows the ball isn't gonna get passed to him, man up and at least play D. When I actually had the ball I tried to get them involved but they just either passed it back or shot hook shots from half court. Not cool. We still won. I have to say my post D is improving, my outside shot is on fire (12-15 ft out), and my post moves are finally coming around. Still need to work on my lateral movement. When I'm defending a face up player try as I might, I give up base line too easily. Haha but I always have- I play what you call Tom Chambers D. I'm gonna try to play a couple steps closer to them next time and see what that does...

Well its Midnight and I plan on waking up at 6am to hit the gym and climb Cowles before the kids wake up. Then its off to the Zoo to have them go on their Bataan Death March. If they survive, I'll treat them to some Filippis. Feel Free to join

Buck Shot and 9th Wonder- No Comparison. Veteran MC with one of the best beat makers out there. You have probably heard his beats and have never realized it. From Beyonce, to Nas, to Jay Z and everyone in between.

The Seeds

after my status I realized I hadn't written something about them so I just wrote this- it was pretty easy...

when i look into those eyes
I realize
failure's not an option
though right now it feels like I lost them to adoption
they're always on my mind
and so maybe one day they'll find
these lines
and hope they understand what happened in these times
the thoughts of giving up
get shut the fuck up
when I think about their future
And I pray they'll never have to go through something like this
I hope they continue to reminisce
on past fun past trips
and come to grips
that pops was far from perfect
but time spent with him was worth it
I preach don't settle to be like me
My job is for you both to be better than me
my undying love is all I can guarantee
so I hope you see
this experience burns my heart
from the depths of hell
so I'm going back to the start
reinventing myself is going to be the hard part
I'm truly sorry for this ride
hope at the end of this tunnel you'll still be by my side
cuz my life belongs to you
so from now on everything I do
every sacrifice every hardship
every missed relationship
will be so that I can secure
your love now and in the future
with this I hope you get the idea
I love you Danny and Sofia...

Not Enough

So for the article manuscript I submitted I had to include a little something about myself. this is what I came up with in the five minutes I cared to think about it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Roy De La Cruz has been writing since he was in his high school journalism class. His beat was sports but since he was too busy to actually attend most sporting events, he would rely on his editor (Hugo) for the scores, highlights and stats. He would then weave a tale about what occurred, mostly inaccurate and fabricated depictions of what transpired during the games. While the alumni at the school would know the depictions to be completely fabricated, they found them highly entertaining. He became engrossed with life and left writing behind only to discover blogging in 2006. Friends, family and strangers alike were soon entertained again. He spent a decade in the exciting career as an insurance underwriter. When he found himself ungraciously let go in February of 2010, he began his love affair with writing once again. He hopes his random, sometimes incomprehensible thoughts on a wide array of subjects from his drunken tales to his love of hip hop, to be published in some sort of medium outside the internet soon...

I hate Ketchup and Mustard. They suck. I also hate relish. This is a problem when your dinners have been consisting of chicken hot dogs lately. So I have to get creative. Sometimes I do the grilled onion bit, sometimes I do the hot sauce thing. Today I went with cheese. I tried peanut butter once but it was not the great idea I thought it out to be. I also did the bacon thing once but since I am trying to be sensible these days that option is out. Back to the ketchup thing. I wrote about this before but I have to point it out again since I have an addiction to french fries. It is highly rude to pour ketchup all over those masterpieces. Be civil and pour it on the side and dip them if you must ruin the taste that is a good french fry. What if you don't finish them? Have you thought that maybe someone who will gorge himself to death on fries may want your extras? Obviously not, Mr/Mrs selfish. But there you went ruining that opportunity for him and those tasty things must now go in the trash. I actually make some bad ass french fries when I am inspired to do so, which is pretty much every time my kids are over and I make them dinner. Maybe if you're lucky I will divulge my recipe ala Kurt Vonnegut one day. If you don't know who he is, read a damn book. It involves voodoo. No not really but it will taste like you sold your soul to the devil. Oh and don't ever expect to split fries with me- that shit aint happening. unless its like a family basket. Then, maybe. I have beat little kids (mostly my own) whenever they have gotten into the fries on the way home from the drive thru. And the ones at the bottom of the bag are mine as well. My son has since gone to the darkside with his love of ketchup but Sofia is holding out strongly and it only took a few beatings...

I had my first full night of sleep last night in weeks. Was asleep by 10:30. I think its the fact I spent an hour on the elliptical, and played basketball until I thought I was gonna faint, then shot around for another half hour. So I did that again today which is why I my back is destroyed...

I just realized I have not turned on my TV since Sunday night. Almost would be proud if I hadnt been spending that time on the computer... Though it has been mostly to re-write my resume, write some articles, apply for jobs, and sell off the rest of my cds. I have just been really sitting here listening to music when not at the gym destroying my back or winning at poker. I have won the last two times in a row. So it paid for some badly needed tires, and the shipping costs for my cds to secondspin...

I have updated the site a little bit to make it easier in case you havent noticed. Thought the boom box matched the blogs nicely. I also found where the stats of pageviews for this thing and from where people are reading it. turns out after the US and Canada, its the UK and France. Denmark is in there as well. I'm sure its the song titles that gets them here. Seeing as its mostly writing from a guy I think 1500 page views is not bad I guess. The all time rated post is also pretty interesting though its neck and neck with another one. It also tells you where they visited the site from like google, facebook (of course), etc... Haha for google it also tells you what they searched for in order to find the blog, hahaha sorry guy from asia who searched for the Green Hornet...

A few years ago I read that postcards were losing popularity. So I decided to go on a crusade and begin sending them. Sometimes when I was out on the road, like the few east coast trips, other times I would just send San Diego ones to people who lived in San Diego. They would be filled with obvious ridiculous bullshit, but I figure the people in the postcard and post office business needed the revenue. If you were one of the lucky ones to receive one, I would definitely cherish and hold on to them. I am sure after I die here soon they will be worth at least the stamp that it cost to mail them. Who knows if I find my address book maybe I will start that up again. I also did it because nothing of note ever comes in the mail anymore. Its either a bill, coupons, some bullshit wedding or birthday invitation you don't even wanna go to (just kidding!) or something from the IRS wondering why you filed your taxes the way you did. So I figured a nice little postcard every once in a while would get people to be pleasantly surprised on the walk back from the mail box... That would be like my service to you all...

Not enough by Little Brother. Darrien Brockington on the hook and he is a bad ass motherfucker, well like me but with a voice.

Contents Unda Pressure

Tuesday I found myself at a bar in Ocean Beach. I had just dropped off my cds at Cow's used records and CDs for them to look over and buy if they wanted. I had heard they were looking for hip hop cds so I figured they would be interested in my collection. The bar was empty- it was just the bartender and me. We started discussing about how easy technology had made it to obtain music and how nowadays most musicians had to stay on the road longer to make up for the lack of sales. We also lamented on the loss of the days when you would have to go out in search of the music instead of just turning on your computer. The loss of cover art photography, the loss of liner notes. Yeah I'm sure if you wanted to you can still buy the whole album including pictures and notes, but we were talking about the tangibleness of actually holding a cd in your hands. Sure the perks of not having to worry about an MP3 scratching, getting stolen out of your car, misplacing the cd are great, but I enjoyed displaying the collection, having to go to multiple cd stores to find the album I wanted (and with my taste that was always an adventure) and the small slight sense of victory that occurred once I found it. Then going home popping it in, listening to it while reading the liner notes- always a plus if they explained how the song came about or more bonus if it came with the lyrics. I like the majority however have become placated with the ease of obtaining music online. Even during these times having my cousins finding albums I want for free. I always try though to make it up to these artist by either buying the album later on, hitting up their tours, or buying their merchandise (hence the steady stream of hip hop only shirts I wear). Again to make up for the lack of cd sales, most of the people I listen to have to got on tour constantly and some just stop producing the music and go on to make a career in other means. Truly sad- its not that the music wasnt good and it wasn't selling that line of thinking is way wrong. Its just apparently not as promotable as other acts, not radio friendly or whatever. This doesn't affect musicians, it affects everyone in the music industry- Tower records, the wherehouse, music trader, etc... are all gone. I had a hard time just finding a couple of spots in San Diego that still took Cds. What does that mean? loss of jobs. Technology just hasn't hit the music- its hit the movie rental business as well. Hollywood video is long gone, so are most small mom and pop dvd rental stores. Blockbuster is bankrupt. Again its cool not having late fees, being able to see the movie when you want on demand and having it delivered straight to your house instead of having to drive out. Again I'm not saying I'm taking a stand and refusing to do these things- I have netflix, and until recently was a big fan of the on demand features. I also don't think most musicians are out there bitching about the state of things. I figure most of them that will continue to make music regardless of the income it will generate for them will adapt to the challenges of the onslaught of technology. I'm also not just referring to the genre of music I listen to but all genres. But anyways back to the loss of jobs in the music record business. Tuesday I found a few places in San Diego online that still bought cd's. One actually specifically stated they were interested in hip hop collections. So I decide to head there first. I had gone through my cds and they were kept in excellent condition- 90% didnt even have surface scratches. So I call ahead just to make sure they would have time to go through my 300 or so cds I had left. (another 200 had previously been stolen from my car :/) They said no problem just bring them down. So I bring them in. The guy starts checking them and after about 5 minutes says to me,
"are these ALL gonna be hiphop?"
"Um yeah- you website said you were looking for hiphop?"
" oh its cool I guess"
Now I figure they surely wouldnt take all of them- I know even some that claim they are legit hip hop fans wouldn't have known some of the acts I have listened to. So I notice he's doing two piles- cool totally expected. One is getting way bigger than the other so I figure those have to be the ones they are taking especially since he has placed such cds like LB's the listening, Common's resurrection, The original WU release, 9th wonder's Stepson, Atmosphere's latest etc... after deciding I maybe will finish up the black keys collection by trying to find blakroc and thickfreakness used, he lets me know he's done. he now has 3 piles. Turns out the biggest pile he can't take because they wouldn't sell- haha ok no one is looking for common's first one or any atmosphere they havent heard before. fine the next biggest pile they'll give me 1 dollar each for them- 40 of them in all. the last pile he said he wanted to buy off me personally and that he'd give more than the store would. So the guy did have some hip hop in him as he picked up O.C. jewelz and the D.I.T.C. collaboration album. He gives me the spiel that some of them were too scratched, some they had too many of, and some just wouldn't sell. He told me of a couple of other places besides the ones I found that may take the rest of them. I collect the unwanted and head off. Basically same thing happened at all the other places, including get laughed at when asking about used black keys albums. I'm also beginning to theorize that even though they say they'll buy any amount. they max themselves at around 40 per purchase. The 2 other places that bought cds from me all bought 40 each exactly. The last place in OB I finally gave up on finding blakroc or thickfreakness used and just traded them straight up for new ones. All told me that all the other titles wouldn't sell. But they had junk in their hip hop section like Chunky A, milkbone, jermaine dupree- not even just the popular radio hip hop of today, but like junk from other eras. I was like wow. Really you don't think anyone will come in and buy up de la soul's first lp, Nas classic debut album, even his It was written? I didn't say it because I didn't wanna come out like my music taste was better than theirs. I understand that maybe they really just don't know. They have their own tastes and that's totally cool. which brings it back to technology. Obviously the stores can't have experts in all music genres anymore. Back in my Wherehouse days in Monterey the manager asked me before hiring me what music I listened to and when I said hip hop, he said good because he needed someone with knowledge in that section. we had the rock, death metal, house, classical/jazz, movie members. I don't know if all managers took that in consideration but it was definitely a sensible issue to take in. Everyone had to learn and know the top 40 radio stuff. The stores that are left don't have that option to have so many employees knowledgeable in different genres of music. I decided to go back and respect my collection and go back to using secondspin.com. An online website where you can sell your cds to. They partially reimburse you on shipping costs and since I remembered the current USPS commercials about the packages they have "where it fits and it ships for one price" I decided that getting what these cds deserved to be sold for was worth the small hassle of initially shelling out some cash to get checks in the mail later on. instead of a buck or 50 cents, the majority of my cds sold for 3 or 4 bucks. some for less, far less but still. a Los Lobos cd I owned actually fetched 8.50. basically you enter the original UPC code and it figures out what cd it is and the price they will sell it to you for. I was sadden to discover I had forgotten to take out my last copy of Pharaoh Monche's internal affairs and Ras Kass' Soul on Ice. Both are out of print for different reasons and a couple of years ago they were going on Ebay for like 50 bucks. They are also hip hop classics. More Soul on Ice than Internal Affairs. I accidentally sold them for 4 bucks. Terrible. I at least still have one copy of the Ras Kass album.

Shit, maybe Ted Kaczynski (The Unabomber) and his anti technology stance was right. Gonna give me a buck for the Roots "things fall apart"-fucking ridiculous.

The Alkaholiks- Contents unda pressure, maybe the Liks best ever song- beats, flow, one liners with a west coast edge.

Dr. Octagon - I'm Destructive

Sometimes I just wanna listen to some completely ridiculous shit. Dr. Octagon definitely qualifies. I have been working on my desktop today and thats where the majority of my music is. It had been a while since I had sat down in front of this one well because a laptop is just more convenient. Although I did read an article late last night about how the heat from the laptop can actually damage your skin or some shit. Dunno was dozing in and out of sleep to actually pay attention to it. You know a lot of times I just sit here when writing these and I have no clue where I am gonna take it. Tonight is one of those nights- Where I wanna write something but haven't figured it out yet. So until then you'll get this filler. I am sure if you skip to the next paragraph you'll find it more entertaining... I had to change the album- only so much Dr. Octagon I can handle in one sitting. half the album was good this time. Some Juice it is. Oh yeah I did decide to send in an article or my attempt at one into the reader. Checked their website and they allow for you to submit one with some specific shit that they are looking for so I decided to go ahead and do it. Don't know what will happen to it and don't really care it's not like someone- especially a novice would automatically peak their interest on the first try and actually make it. I figure I will try it a few times and if nothing happens I'll just realize that this writing thing isnt for me. One of the things they didn't want was a weekly column so that's kind of lame. I think my style would be more fitting in that type of format- people would need to grow into gettting my type of writing I think and don't think one article I write can stand on its own. But whatever I wrote it up in between re writing my resume and applying for jobs so its not like it really took anything extra out of my day. I did get to thinking about what type of book I would write. In the past I figured it would be a more cohesive version of this blog, maybe without the song and movie titles. I've been here 32 years and have plenty of stories of drunkeness and other plights and think the target audience would be the college age kids who actually read outside their curriculum - all 15 of them- and some people around my age group. Anyways I figure it at the minimum would be something productive to do while waiting for the next interview.

I also signed up to volunteer at the San Diego History museum. I just heard back from them and haha its another thing I have to apply for. I have to do a cover letter and send in my resume and everything. I just wanted to go in there and stuff some envelopes or dust some artifacts. But whatever I don't see why I shouldn't. Still waiting to hear about tutoring kids with jailed parents though- which would be more in line with what I would like to be doing.

Back in 2006 I went to Pennsylvania. A friend of mine at the time was born and raised in Johnstown PA. A book and story that has always fascinated me is the story of the Johnstown flood- way before I had ever met her. David McCullough wrote an excellent book on it. He also wrote an excellent book on the Brooklyn bridge, but I digress. Anyways we used to have a set of Reader's digest abridged books and that was one of them. For some reason I read it multiple times throughout high school. Anyways The town is located 2 hours east of Pittsburgh and I was gonna go to a Padres game while I was there so I decided I would finally get to go see this town, whose story for some reason I had read multiple times. Prior to 9/11 it had been the worst disaster with regards to lost lives. I think some 2000 people died. I won't bore you with the history knowledge but back then it was a major producer of steel and was located in a valley. on an adjacent hill, a lot of the rich people at the time like Mellon, Carnegie, and them built some pretty bad ass houses and made that area into a fishing club for their summer use. They built a lake on this hill by stopping a river with a shitty dam. Then during heavy rains the dam gave way causing the flood. I just found a journal she bought me to write some shit about her hometown and State. She also wrote me some things throughout the book. Some of the shit she wrote in it is funny as hell. She also has the least legible writing for a girl. Can barely make out what she had to say back then. I am really into history and this trip was all about me seeing some historic sites. Checked out Mt Vernon- George Washington's home, that was some feeling walking in the house where such a historic figure once walked around. Hit up Gettysburg and a bar there that had been a house during the battle. It still has the bullet holes. I couldn't get over the fact that people still lived and worked in the same homes where such historic shit went down. Washington DC and Ford's theater where Lincoln was shot. The house across the street where he died. It's a ridiculous thought to me that there most likely are people that live so close to such places and have never bothered to check them out.

You know what's also cool? is driving around in places you've never been and stopping in a one street town to have a beer. you definitely stick out like a sore thumb, but its always an easy way to meet people you would never otherwise meet. Plus they get a kick out of some one from San Diego being there. I would have to find the business card of the bar I stopped at and played some pool with the locals there (and where I threw some atmosphere on the jukebox) to figure out the name of the town. I remember just after a day of hanging out in Gettysburg, I just got in the rental (the life time ban would come in a later trip) and drove down this two lane road out of town. I stopped and a church that had been built in the 1700's for a bit to check it out, and continued on until I came into a town after maybe a mile the town ended so I turned around, found the bar and strolled in. Probably the only Mexican for miles. To me it's interesting to go into a situation like that and just people watch- try to get what these townspeople are all about. I was still young enough that I got carded and the CA license usually starts the conversation in these towns. The what the hell am I doing there, am I visiting someone? Not passing through because no one passes through this town, why would a Californian pick PA to vacation in... so on and so forth. The other small town in PA I did this was a town called Gallitzin and pretty much the same thing happened.

She titled my journal "Roy's fucked up, rambling, incomprehensible, thoughts" kind of like this one tonight.

God's Bathroom Floor

One of the things I love about a live show is when the musicians personalize the show a little bit for the audience. What I mean I guess is when they do a whole different version of one of their songs. Its obviously easier when you're taking a rap song from a DJ's beat and deciding to go with a live band version of it. But still. I have seen Atmosphere do this song live with a DJ ( in Chicago so now every time I hear this song it reminds me of our trip out there back in 2006- best show I have ever seen to date, and the rest of the trip was awesome. Padres sweeping the Cubs, Hugo's asian buddy, 3 forms of ID requirements, L & G's, the cool waiter at the Espn Zone... getting lost on the way back to the hotel for a bit, rockin shorts and flip flops in cold ass weather and then getting completely drenched when I walked into a puddle,the gay cab driver who ran outta of gas and made us miss our flight home and took a whole 5 bucks off the fare... ) and with a live band (LA, SD)  and still havent been able to decide which version I like better. The original version has this sweet Jazz sample and the song is way more mellow.
Anyways on Thursday, Brian, Nick, and me were at some bar in Rancho Bernado when we ran into the Mayor of our City. The city being Santee. The Mayor being Randy Voepel. Hell of a guy. Knows how to party. Couldnt convince him to hit up a strip club with us though. Haha " No school shootings since Randy Voepel been in office..." haha the asshole comments we make sometimes. After ward we hit up the usual spots in Poway, bar tender at Patricks was excited that they now served the tequila from Entourage and gave us a shot of it. It gets pretty blurry after that though, Nick disappeared and I ended up hanging out with this Sushi Chef. All I remember is that I thought he was like some type of artist at one point and that I discussed the writing process and my aspirations to write a collection of short stories one day. Somehow we ended up hitting denny's (sadly in my drunkeness I forgot my self imposed ban on eating there) . Never had met before but apparently he was highly amused with my antics. He drove a white lowered honda or something and I actually fell on my ass trying to get out. I just remember him needing to get me up. We talked about a whole myriad of shit his sushi business, writing, and god knows what else I just know we were at denny's for a long while. I must have had like 5 cups of coffee. Anyways he ends up giving me a ride back to Nick's. Except Nick went to bed and locked the door. I told him I guess its sleep in my car time. But he decided he would just take me all the way back to Santee. wtf? I told him it was cool its like a half hour drive and he really didnt need to do that. But he insisted. Random right? Guess he just wanted to continue a conversation with a drunk man.

Saturday, Hugo decided for his birthday we should all get together and attempt to play some softball. Wow did our softball team playoff aspirations take a real hit. Yeah its sad when the best player is a ten yr old. D did have a nice basket catch, Brian had a nice celebration after he made a play, Wes had a nice head first slide,  Kurt hit the worlds worst triple, and I bill bucknered a ball at first. haha D also hit into the slowest double play ever. The rule of having to finish a beer at third base before being able to score was hardly used until the later innings. Seriously a 1-0 game 6 innings deep? haha. The rest of the day and night and early sunday morning was spent at Hugo's. Good times. I owe Pilar 6 bottles of wine I guess. Drinking wine with Hugo is highly entertaining. He turns into the biggest male chauvinist ever " Hey Don't piss off the Baby!" so I always try to get some wine in him when we're drinking. Two more of you turned 32 this weekend. Welcome to the glory. The liver worked some heavy OT this weekend. So it will be taking the next week off. I have also decided to put my alarm clock back to use. Hopefully the fear of the sound of an alarm clock buzzing at 7am will help me get to sleep.