Bun B - Let 'Em Know (prod DJ Premier)

Christmas morning I woke up and decided to hit up what is becoming my favorite spot in LA. It was cool that there was a break in the rain and the sun came out for a brief visit. The first time I went up with Danny I was thinking there was probably a way to hike it all the way to the Hollywood sign without me having to drive to it first. I ended up seeing a sign that said Mt Hollywood. I knew that the sign is on Mt Lee so I didn't think that was the trail but on my way up it (its a fairly easy hike- like really easy actually) I saw that there are lots of trails and that I would probably be able to find my way there. Seeing as I had nothing to do and wanting to keep from the thought this was the first Christmas I would not be with my kids, I said fuck it. 3 hrs later, a couple of wrong turns having to blaze my own trail, and a couple of slips later, I had gone from the Observatory to the hollywood sign and back. It wasn't all that bad- I didn't really even stop to take a break. It was good for the health and the mind as well as it made me forget about this Christmas and year overall and got me really looking forward to 2011 and next Christmas. I am completely over this Christmas and this year overall and truly am the really excited for the upcoming Christmas in 2011. The hour daily of cardio has really been paying off. How can I stand to do an hour of cardio daily at the gym? Music and Daydreaming. If your music taste can't get you to withstand a couple of hours daily at the gym, well obviously your musical tastes aren't as good as mine. Where as I used to sit on my ass for hours on end just listening to music, now I get off my ass and do something healthy for myself. The daydreaming part helps out too in making time go by. Mostly its about the new job and how I plan on moving up as far and fast as I can, but other thoughts come up as well. Like winning the lotto and how I would spend it all like Brewster from Brewster's Million.  Basically any dreams that make the time go by. I went to the gym twice today. I think all the coffee I had last night didn't let me sleep all too well last night and I was wide awake at 5. So I said fuck it why not. I went again after work. Yeah now my calves are burning like someone rubbed an STD all over them...

Today during our first break I went up to grab some coffee with this girl from my training class and she talked my ear off about the cake she made for Christmas. I mean she basically gave me a play by play of everything she did, what ingredients she used, what temperature, the type of mixer she owned, how she decorated it- I mean I couldn't get a word in if my life depended on it. When she was finally done, I asked her how long this whole ordeal took her. 5 hours. She then showed me the picture of the cake. It might have been the greatest cake I have ever seen. Then I remembered that she is also a professional pastry chef. That's when it all came together and I realized why she had been so passionate about her cake baking story...

Training is going by slow still and this was the first Monday after a week of working and weekend off. I bought a bunch of Smart one's microwave meals for lunches. The chicken Santa Fe is unfortunately out of the rotation. I forgot how awful some of these taste.

I was just talking to Wes about needing to play some basketball this week. Our first league game for the new season is Wednesday Jan 5th and its been about a week since I shot a basketball. We can not slack off as this season it's gonna be on our shoulders to take home the championship, if I can somehow translate shooting lights out during shootarounds into the actual games and if Wes can re establish his Nike air release move. If these things become reality then the rest of the D level is in for a long season. D level of course referring to the lowest level of competition in the league...

During Danny and I's Chinese Christmas dinner, I got a fortune cookie with the greatest lotto numbers ever;
08, 12,24, 32, 44 and 17. I knew all the players as soon as I saw it. I mean it shouldn't be too tough to figure these out.

Concerto of the desperado

Wes and me are convinced Old man Frank tagged along with me to LA. The last week more than a few things have occurred. What you ask? Actually I don't care if you ask, I'm gonna write about it anyway. On Sunday Wes, D, and me are in the living room (which also doubles as my sleeping quarters) when we hear a Crash! Bang! Boom! Bam! (no really it sounded just like the words- trust me). So we go investigate because we don't heed the warnings from horror movies that when you go investigate you end up hacked to death. Nothing seemed out of place in Wes' room where the sounds originated. Until Wes checked the bathroom. Turns out Old man Frank decided he didn't like the cabinet over Wes' toilet and decided to throw it on the ground. Wait there's more. Monday D is using the oven when all the sudden  it starts going on the fritz- He can't open the oven and the timer is going on the fritz. It turns out that old man Frank had decided the oven was dirty and it needed to be cleaned. So he put the oven on self clean mode. Tuesday D and me get home and I try insert my key into the door to open it. I had used it in the morning to lock it but when I tried to open it, it wouldn't work. D then tries to use his key. Same thing, his key isn't working either. So we call Wes thinking maybe he had decided he didn't want roommates after all and had changed the locks. He of course hadn't because he secretly wants to be Mexican and having three Mexicans residing with him at present is the closest he will get. He tries his key and his ain't working either. Turns out Old man Frank wanted some solo time apparently and had reset/rekeyed the lock. Without a working key, Wes can't rekey it. So now he has to wait until kwik set, the lock manufacturer mails him a new lock. Later that night as I am sleeping, I hear all these noises coming from the garage and Wes' room. I thought he might be getting brutally attacked, but being a minority and knowing that in horror movies the minority doesn't fare too well, I decide my best course of action is to just throw the blanket over my head and make myself invisible. I figured Wes might be able to hold off old man Frank with his patented Navy Seal choke hold. Since we used the oven last night and tonight, I guess OMF decided that the oven needed more cleaning, so the oven went on self clean mode by itself again... That's why folks we need to hire the Ghostbusters. If they can take down the Stay Puft marshmallow man I hope they can take down Old man Frank. Old Man Frank by the way is the ghost from my house. He once appeared to both D and me on separate occasions and once decided that my alarm clock should go off even after my friend Dan had unplugged it and thrown it across the room. True story.

I feel like a slut. I cheated on 24 hr fitness tonight. Wes took me to Gold's gym tonight. I have to admit the equipment there is much nicer and newer than 24 hr's. They even tried to court me after and ended up giving me a shirt which I am wearing now. But while I might take their offer of a 30 day pass and a free hour with a personal trainer, I will end up going back to 24 hr- if she'll still have me. I mean in the end there are more of them, I use more than just the equipment there, like the sauna and basketball courts, and well they have basketball courts. Although a first for me did happen there in the history that is my life. I did a mile in under 8 minutes for the first time ever. Not even in high school when I played baseball and basketball on the daily did I do that. I could probably do it faster too since I had it on one of the harder levels. Think I will try on Friday on flat ground to see how fast I can do it (yeah I am pretty Fn proud so I had to share)...

I was able to find what both Danny and Sofia asked for Christmas and pretty easily tonight. Danny is really into a series of books called the Warriors- not the awesome '70s movie but a book on these waring tribes of cats or rabbits or some sort of regularly thought of wussy animal. Sofia like Puya is a Michael Jackson fan and she wanted the Michael Jackson Experience game for the Wii. Found it super cheap on Amazon and with free 1 day shipping so it will be delivered just in time for Christmas. Wes is gonna do me a solid and drop off the set of books for me tomorrow...

Concerto of the Desperado by the Roots from their classic album everyone should own, Illadelph Half life...

"The hip hop purist that still gets lost like a tourist"- the line doesn't really go like that but I adjusted to reflect me in LA
.

Savior

I put the first part of this one as a note on FB. I'm pretty sure I was just tired. I am far from being one to think I am above and beyond anyone, I hope that's not how it came across it's just a little frustrating having to start over again when I know I should be at a different stage in my career. I'm sure I'll get over this feeling though.

I talked with my kids during lunch yesterday and to be honest all the feelings of missing them now and in the future were hitting me- Instead of taking it on a daily I'm a tard and think about the whole next year I will be up here and it sucks. Damn I hate getting all like this here...

On a lighter note I didn't get lost today heading to 24 hr fitness, but damn was the traffic terrible. God must love himself some bbqing because it wasn't raining while I was out grilling it up tonight... After the gym tomorrow I'm gonna go Christmas shopping finally so that should make it feel better. That and maybe watching some Christmas Story and some Nightmare before Christmas.


Savior, by Slug, Eyedea (RIP), and Sole. Eyedea died a couple of months ago in his sleep, he was only 28. I hadn't heard this song before tonight...


"The pressure pays the toll, it takes control
So I can be a better dad, I can be better in bed
I can be a better man, I can be better off dead
I can be a better son, boyfriend or employee
But I better fix my head before I let that shit destroy me
Yeah, you know me, that cat with no game, no gear
Been in love as many times as I've been alive in years
It ain't my fears that's riding me, nope
It's how I cope and construct, and how I act as if I don't give a fuck..."

(To All My Friends) - The Loser Wins

The jobs starts in full effect tomorrow, Thursday was kind of interesting- not the boring ass signing of paperwork or orientation talk part of it- it was interesting because as Danny and me stepped into the training room, the HR supervisor stops me and directs me to where I will be sitting. The front row, right in the middle and in front of the trainer. The one seat I exactly did not want. Then as I am heading to my seat the manager of the department I will be working in comes up to me verifies that I am me, and she begins to talk about me to the other supervisors
" Oh so this is Roy De La Cruz..."
I could also hear them go on about me in their own discussions. Then the manager discovers there is another De La Cruz in the room and she turns to me to ask if I am related to him. When I reply yes, there is an awkward pause that has me wondering if she's thinking I am just messing with her. She then asks if he's my brother and I reply sure is. The usual question then comes up- who is older? Haha Fuck all of you. He is older by three years. Later we have to introduce ourselves and say something about ourselves. This was D's introduction:
" Hi I'm Danny De La Cruz, I also have worked in auto insurance and... (he points to me) that's my brother."

Haha sweet. The class all laughs and decides to come up with nick names once its verified I am in fact the younger of the two. Little De La Cruz, Baby De La Cruz... Anyways its definite fact that they have some expectations for me- which I guess its a good thing although I had planned to be low key through out training and show off the insurance skills at a later date, but now that plan is out. So I think I am just gonna go all out and display my awesomeness in insurance right away. Hopefully this means I won't be rocking a headset for too long...

My eggnog cherry got popped last night and from what I remember the actual eggnog drink is good. The jag-nogs, nogasakes, and my own version of vodka, whiskey, and Kahlua into the eggnog? Not so much. But if there is one thing I learned from Andrew Zimmern, is that you try things twice to make sure that you don't like it. The problem with this theory when you are talking about adult beverages is that you usually end up going to sleep early and getting drawn on... Real mature team, HaHa. Damn it. I inquired more than once about getting beer because hard liquor and me usually end up going to bed together. The real problem with me (no I'm not quite alcoholic status and I don't plan to obtaining it) is that I drink any beverage too fast. Water, Gatorade, beer, mix drinks, milk, limeade, oj, etc... I can usually drink in one drink. I can down a 32 oz gatorade in one drink. The same with water and actually I start my gym sessions by downing 64 ozs of water to be properly hydrated for the workout. So when this god given talent is used for evil, I end up drinking too much liquor too fast and bam! Penis on my face. you would think after a 16 yr hall of fame career of drinking I would have learned to switch to a normal person's drinking ability, but nope. God gave me a gift and a curse I guess. Anyways thanks to Ryan and Becca for being lovely hosts. I dug the abominable snowman stocking.

Another one of God's gift is my amazing ability to recover from such outings, I was up by 10 and hit the gym running. Sure the people around me could probably smell the alcohol coming out of my pores, but whatevs, I'm on a mission to look like a bad ass freedom fighter from America. Then did a little grocery shopping, Cooked D some breakfast that included breakfast sandwiches and french fries, and proceeded to clean up the kitchen. Afterwards I decided since Wes was still dead that D and me should go get Wes' car. I then decided that afterwards since I was a productive member of society after a night like that, I would go to Tompkins square for the Sunday night game and a few pops, but I'm still kind of like Los Angeles' version of  Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer;

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and was later thawed by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! When I see my image on the security camera at the country club, I wonder, are they stealing my soul? I get so upset, I hop out of my Range Rover, and run across the fairway to the clubhouse, where I get Carlos to make me one of those martinis he's so famous for, to soothe my primitive caveman brain..."

Haha Los Angeles I guess frightens and confuses me so much that I find myself getting lost in trying to get to places I have been to multiple times. Today? Tompkins Square. I swore it was somewhere on Lincoln... I was just told its on the corner of Lincoln and Manchester, so I was right. Except I went the wrong way on Lincoln. Ended up on Venice Blvd, drove past the Bigfoot and realized, hey, I'm a Reh-Tard... So for my failure, I decided it was best to just head on back to Wes' and call it a day.



The Loser wins another excellent Atmosphere tune.

SANTA CLAUS GO STRAIGHT TO THE GHETTO

I wanted to give my friends something for Christmas. So since I was incapacitated today with another round of the gout, I decided to write you all some holiday Haikus- its better than a donation to the human fund I say. Hope you enjoy them

Symantec Teammate
welcomes you to his gun show
Kobe is his dog

The Patent Lawyer
A-Team Michael Jackson Fan
Cold Play defender

USC Alum
Even rocked it in their band
Brings limes for limeade

Poway citizen
Patricks O'Harley's Kelly's
My Denny's teammate

Newport Beach Hustler
Mongolian Bar B Que
No fan of Golf boy

The Moons Guitar Man
Watches Korean Movies
Potato Tacos

Vegan is her way
Made her car scrape once or twice
Is Miles Davis Cool

Black Keys fanatic
Toy story 3 ride all star
Scared of the fuel light

Cable T V guy
Don't say real name in public
My Chili's Teammate


Utah Jazz- Really?
The Vegas Haiku Legend
Pit bull look a like

Hawthorne is her home
needs to quit that Dodger shit
Resides with Jazz Fan

A G Employee
Soccer Softball Basketball
His Bachelor Cruise

Claims is her domain
Stuck with Huge after cruise
owns blue or green car

Tireless Promoter
A real female hip hop fan
Whos Birthday was it?

Six foot three doubter
hails from the city of wind
A Derrick Rose Fan.

Saw tree on fire
married to Volkswagen man
mom to awesome ones

He's the god father
drawings are just too bad ass
square feet confuse me

From Napa Valley
politically liberal
too bad ray lutz lost

The Belize Broiler
Is maybe colombian
likes to climb mountains

  Animal Lover
likes to stockpile lots of books
misses griffith park

     Palestinian
tried to kill me at squaw peak
 The desert is home

Temecula Man
the bread man to the masses
his beard is way weird

Merry Christmas!

Roy

Last Day

I was talking last night before I went to bed (actually couch) about taking a day off from working out because my body was starting to reject all the exercise. But then I remembered I was an American (haha that's taken from a buddy down in Santee who likes to rationalize everything with the fact that he's an American or that he is in America)and being one I needed to shun the pain and keep on keeping on with the workouts. And for having such bad thoughts I decided- fuck it- I'm waking up at 645 and hitting it early to teach my pussy body a lesson. The workout went fine, the attempt at basketball with the Hawthorne crowd did not. No aspect of my game was on (my defense never is- I go with the best defense is a good offense philosophy). So because of my Lackluster play I am thinking up hitting up Griffith park again. I need to get ready for my next mountain ascension anyways...

Last Saturday a buddy of mine took me on an 8 mile hike to the top of two mountains in San Diego. Besides having to ford the San Diego river, it actually wasn't that bad. So we have decided he's gonna be my mountain tour guide and take me on climbs through out San Diego. I have done Cowles, Pyles,North and South Fortuna. Next on the list hopefully in the next couple of weeks is Mt San Jacinto in the desert, then El Capitan, Mt Woodson, Iron Mtn, Cuyamaca, and Mt. Laguna. Then we will design badges and I'll wear it proudly haha. After these, I will re attempt Squaw's peak in Phoenix, the motherfucker that made me realize how fat I was. Anyways after the 8 mile death march, we were witness to one really bad attempt at picking up a bartender. After a few initial disastrous pick up lines, this exchange took place;
"By the way I'm (name withheld) what's yours?"
"Paris."
"Oh nice! I've never been to Paris..."- in a sexual innuendo tone
"Well, you won't be going there tonight."
laughter from the rest of the patrons at the bar...

Here's another true retail store story from my past to end this one. My first ever job was at K-mart. My baseball coach got me the job there and I was assigned to the Layaway department. It was during the holiday season and they always need help around this time. Now normally only two older white ladies are needed to work the Layaway department. By white I mean Whiskey Tangos. By Whiskey Tangos, I mean WT's. By WT's I mean White trash. Sorry my white buddies but some of ya'll are just fixin to get labeled as such. And yes I did make an attempt at using your lingo in order for you to understand better. Hopefully you'll get why I used this term in a bit. Now first of all I was supposed to get trained on the super duper Hi Tech computer system. But since they saw I was mexican, they told me some bullshit that I was just supposed to be a "runner" and basically b their bitch. Fine I was only gonna be there for the holidays and was supposed to make my move to electronics (ah yeah at the Kmart that was the dream spot, haha) so I didnt care so much. Except as their bitch, I got the worst schedule, never took my lunch when I was supposed to, never took my breaks even though they would take countless smoking breaks, and they decided to have me reorganize the whole layaway inventory on my own. While they watched. Really ridiculous. They weren't my supervisors, they were supposed to be helping me, but they didn't. Finally one day I said fuck it I'm going to lunch with my friend Kurt who worked in the toy department. Didn't care what they had to say. I made sure it wasn't busy and seeing as there were only 2 people in line and one had already been helped, I just said, "I'm off to lunch" The look on their faces was in complete shock. One of them said whatever and I bounced. I come back to them being all pissed off, the other guy who worked there was in the back and as I said what's up he comes at me with
" Don't say hi to me buddy leaving curly sue (or whatever WT name she had) all alone when it was super busy..."
I looked at him (he was a 40 yr old WT by the way) and said both WT#1 and #2 were here and it wasn't busy- so you should calm the fuck down. I had had it with this team. Everything from that episode seemed to have subsided a week later and they were even starting to treat me like a human being when one day as I am punching in. the older whiskey tango after having helped a Mexican lady out blurted this out

"Don't know why she is putting all this stuff on layaway not like she is gonna actually ever come back here and pay it off. I swear some people shouldn't be allowed to put stuff on layaway. If it wasn't for all these Damn Mexicans we wouldn't have to work so much..."
I speak up.
"Well actually if it wasn't for these Mexicans like ME putting stuff on layaway, we probably wouldnt have a job back here."
Both of them turn around all red and embarrassed and the one who spurted it out begins to profusely apologize and try to say she didn't mean it like that. I don't know how else she would have meant it but whatever. After this I just kept to myself in the back. I should have reported it to HR but I was too young and figured they wouldnt believe me or some shit. The worse part is that it wasn't even true. The majority of people who put stuff on layaway weren't mexicans- they don't know enough english to know what layaway is, haha.

Anyways I'm off to destroy my body some more.

Hands On Experience Pt. II

So I have gone to about 7 or 8 24 hr fitness locations recently and have asked all of them if they have a pump to put air in my basketball. Everyone except for the one off the 105 have told me that their pump has just broke. "Like just the day before..." The one off the 105 told me that people brought in their own pumps and to go ask somebody in the gym. Haha really? I guess thats the standard answer to not allow members to use it. Maybe its a liability thing, haha. Last night Team Symantec came through in the clutch to win and clinch a playoff spot. I was on fire... during the shoot around. During the game I was- not so much. I need to shake off that San Diego thing of not performing well under pressure (Trevor Hoffman and Nate Kaeding I'm talking to you and fear joining you.)

I have been up in LA since Monday, trying to get acclimated to this new routine. I think once I start work on 12/16 it will be more structured, but for now, I'm just I guess enjoying the little time left I have off before getting back to the grind. And really its in between looking for a second job. Yesterday I applied at borders online, apparently they have hiring opportunities around here somewhere so hopefully I will get lucky.

I remember back in Monterey I had refused to get a job any where else other than the wherehouse that was by my apartment. So that was the only place I bothered applying to. I got it within after one interview and didn't understand back then why people had such a hard time getting a job. Now having been through it, I would like to take it all back.

That job was cool, the best story from there sounds like a retail store urban legend and I wouldn't have believed it myself if I wasn't there but- and go ahead and skip this part if I had written about it before- our store also rented videos. Anyways one day, a very upset white lady in her early 40's comes in upset. She demands that we pay for a new VCR for her because a tape she rented from us got stuck and the cost to repair hers was more for a new one. I mean she is cussing up a storm demanding to speak with the manager. I was busy stocking videos having won the honor from the other guys that day- it was usually empty during the day in that part of the store so you got to pretty much restock without being bothered. From that part though, I can hear her screaming and cussing about how she didn't need to provide the video back and that the estimate from the repair store and the receipt for the new one should be sufficient. The person trying to help her kept asking that all they would need would be the video that caused it for inventory and to verify. She was refusing to provide the name and the actual video to the person helping her out. All the workers including me tried to calmly explain we would need the video back anyways, but nope, she just kept cussing away. Finally my manager comes in and they end up going to his office. He comes out looking all serious and advising the customer she would get reimbursed and apologizing. As she's leaving the parking lot, he turns out with the most ridiculous smile goes to the back and produces the video that had caused her to be so damn upset...

See, We had an adult section. Yep, between the guys that worked there it was always a battle to see who would get to restock the adult section because we all would take our sweet time in perusing through the sweet titles and covers. Turns out the video that had gotten stuck in her VCR was from this section. We ended up proudly displaying it in the back room by the punch in clock. She deserved it for the half hour ridiculous scene she had caused- I mean she yelled at all of us at one point in trying to get us to just take her word for it. I mean we would have eventually found out what movie she had rented by looking up her account, but I guess she didn't want to be there when we did.

The name of the video? I wanna say it was either,
White Men Can't Hump, or American Booty, but I can't remember exactly...

Little Man

"Dear Jacob I won't take up too much of your time I know you're trying to get your video game-grind on And that's fine Just gimme a second to empty my face Before I hit the road again to go and win this paper chase..."

So I finally had the serious talk with my kids about me moving to Los Angeles. I explained to them that in a perfect world I would have gotten a job in San Diego that would have paid me the same Anchor had been back when I could take them anywhere and everywhere they wanted. But since that hadn't happened, I had to do go and get a job where I would get another chance to advance to where I was before. I also let them know that I'm planning on finally getting my college degree so if I ever find myself in a position like I was in February, I would be able to more easily find a job. this almost endless job of submitting resumes and interviewing was probably the second worst thing that has ever happened to me. I don't know if one could fathom the feeling of not receiving interviews after submitting resumes to places where it would seem like a good fit for the job set acquired in 10 years of working in one specific field. Then the feeling of actually going through the few interviews secured only to either advance to the point where the job offer seemed to be coming and then not. I would not want anybody I cared about to ever have to go through this. Hell I wouldn't want the people that fired me to go through this even though those fuckers are currently delaying my official confirmation by refusing to release my employment history and salary with them. Everything else- the drug test, educational background,criminal background, and all the other job history- is done. But even though they are doing this, I still wouldn't want them to go through this. They probably would have killed themselves by now... I came real close to hopping back on the lexapro. Anyways they understood that part- what they won't understand is how much I will miss them and how hard it will be for me, no amount of money I send down will translate into me being there for them as their father- it wont be the same when I'm just holding a phone.

"And sometimes I get this pain in my stomach's pit It's what I get I'm convinced it's my punishment For those nights I got drunk and let go at some bar In some city with some people I don't know...Sometimes the weeks fly a little too fast And sometimes I go to sleep a little too trashed Other times I'm not sittin' on enough cash And other times today feels too much like the past..."

These lines have been me in a nutshell. You only have to read all the previous blogs to see that. I am not care free and just laugh at all these instances, random encounters, run ins with the law, etc... I also use it to try to get me to stop acting like such an a-hole. So far the results have been mixed, although the last couple of outings I have not felt the need to apologize to anybody. That's been a definite plus. Also, all this fun is coming to an end in December. I have a plan for LA. Work at Triple A re climb the ladder there, hold down a second job, finish up school, and continue with the gym- I mean I'm already SD cool, now I gotta finish up and become LA handsome. So where is that gonna leave time for my extra curricular activities? Well, that's the point. Though there are a few people I will always find a way to make time for...

"I'm over thirty, can't maintain relations All these women wanna hurt me and I just don't have the patience I can't trust 'em And they're not much help When they start to push and pull the buttons I don't trust myself...The only women that love you are fans and family Mom has no choice, but fans leave you randomly..."

Since my marriage ended, I only had only a couple of stints in relationships. One went a couple years and the other all of 4 months. Both were pretty toxic ones. So I have stuck to random encounters which until recently had been getting me by. Any half way decent ones that have come along, I would hide behind my kids- Only the one I hung out for 2 years ever met my kids. Most of the other ones all wanted to, but I refused. that's how you for sure can end things- It works the same as when a girl says after a couple of dates that they have either gotten back with their ex, or are gonna try to be exclusive with someone else they were dating. In the end the person I end up with would have to accept not completely being number 1 in my book, more like 1B. My kids will always be 1A and that can not be compromised.
Moms is starting to get concerned about my move to LA. For her sake. As in how it will affect her. She came into my room on Thursday saying how I was gonna leave her all alone again. I had no response. I love her but I can only do so much...

"No heavy rotation In any location You're not ready to face that you have no steady vocation Plus you're gettin' old, your raps are exhausted Stop it, everybody knows that you've lost it Singin' for these kids you don't know When you should be at home with your own instead you're on your telephone..."

323 days. That will be how long its been since I have worked. It feels like its been a decade. It also feels like this writing has been exhausted. I got replies from my article submissions to the reader. Apparently I am unoriginal and lack depth or style in my stories. So I should be spending more time with my kids or sleeping, instead of taking time to write these. I don't know. Stories of drunkeness only go so far. I pretty much just wrote this one to showcase how I make lyrics relate to my life which is what I think one of the connections to music you like should be. The other should be if it makes you get up and do the cabbage patch cuz its just so damn catchy- I get it, sometimes music should just make you happy and dance. But I ended turning this into musical selections that somehow related a little bit to my blogging...
One last quote;

"We could stay proper keep the clothes on, no pressure Just sit there and pretend like you've known me forever..."

Stand Up

I guess this explains the "Denver Hip Hop" shirt we saw at the Pete Rock and CL Smooth concerts guys, haha! I had been intrigued, confused, and amused by this shirt since that night and I finally found a somewhat decent group from the Mile High. My cousins and I had been perplexed by this shirt when we saw it and could not for the life of us come up with a hip hop group from there. Technology has it perks, haha...

Anyways the violins on this beat reminded me of my youthful aspirations to rock the violin like no other Mexican ever had. I attended an inner city school back in my youth and at this school they offered free music lessons as another way to channel the ghetto kids to positive hobbies instead of the more famous hobby of loitering the streets. I remember how it started. The school held an assembly where the music class performed as a way to try to attract more kids into the program. All the current kids were the white kids that had been bused in from more affluent parts of town, and they decided it was time to show the neighborhood kids what we were possibly missing. I remember this girl had a solo with the violin- don't remember the song or if she played it well, I just remember I thought it was cool for some reason. Why? who knows- I was in 4th grade. So I decided to sign up. I thought the instruments were provided- turns out they weren't. So at first I remember my dad decided at first to rent a violin thinking it would be a temporary thing. Later when he would see me practicing and I (I think) was getting halfway decent, he decided to go ahead and buy it. They aren't cheap. I stuck with it for a good while- even performed at a concert with a whole orchestra and shit. I was really getting into it- I flew passed the twinkle twinkle little star stuff and moved on to some Beethoven pieces. Never got quite to the point where I commanded a solo part in the concerts- that was still held firmly by the girl who had performed at the assembly. I would have stuck with it I think if I hadn't moved to Santee.

The Santee school district had its own program but it wasn't held at the school I went to, and it wasn't free. They would bus us to a different school- I believe it was Carlton Oaks. The money wasn't what stopped me however from continuing to learn the art of the violin. I was still new at the school and the area and when the time came for my first bus ride, I missed it because I didn't want to show the people at my school I was rocking a violin. So I made my mom take me instead. When I got there I didn't know where to go and being too socially anxious, didn't want to walk around and ask where the music room was. I also didn't want to be walking around with a violin case. So I just sat in front and just waited for my mom to come back and pick me up. I lied and told her I had gone but that it wasn't what it was at my old school and that I didn't want to do it anymore...

Instead, after this failed attempt to resume my violinist ways, I decided it would be a good idea to go hang out with my brother and his new found friends. He has always been good at obtaining new friends easily. Me? not so much. Anyways in our old neighborhood, siblings hung out with each other and that meant any friend they made, you would also hang out with them. Santee? not so much. I learned a new term "tag along" here. Well anyways I decided I would try to go hang out with him and his new friend at the guys house, so I rode my bike to this guy's house and tried to go in. No one answered the door even though I knew they were there. After what seemed like forever and feeling dejected, I got on my bike and headed home. It was just one of the many things that I would learn was different from East San Diego and Santee. I would have to learn how to make my own friends. Took a bit, but I think the friends I have made were probably the best I could have asked for. Most of my friends I have now stem from elementary and high school. That's how strong the bonds I have made with these cats have been. I have known Brandon since 5th grade, Brian since 6th grade, Nick, Hugo, Joel, Kurt, Dan, Danny Clay, Jake, and Wes since high school. All the other friends I have spawn from these relationships- their siblings, their siblings' friends, etc... I can say its been a privilege to be able to say I have hung out with these guys for as long as I have. But yes I still hang out with my brother's friends when I get the chance...

I have gotten a few comments regarding my new piece of jewelry. Before I get another weird look and to prevent you guys from coming off as assholes haha, my daughter made it for me and she wants me to wear it for her since I am most likely moving to LA. Since blue is my favorite color, she made it from a purple string. Because it looks blue to me and purple was all she had...

At the advice of some fellow bloggers, I have added the most popular blogs I have written to my site. Hopefully the readership picks up as I get better at this blogging thing and future posts will soon be on this list. If you haven't read them or you would like to relive some glory, Enjoy.

I guess add my violinist aspirations to the list of things I haven't finished.

Stand up by the Flobots- the one decent Denver area hip hop group I found.

G.O.D (Gaining ones definition)

So today Danny's best friend from school came over to spend the night. I decided it might be cool to take them to Old town first, with the thought that maybe he hadnt been there. I was pretty much right. He had only gone there once with school on a day most of the buildings had been closed and since today was a holiday, I figured most of them should be open. He was talking about how last time it was lame because the buildings were all closed. I asked him at dinner (Fillipis in Little Italy) what he thought of old town this time.
" It was pretty much the same. Except I got to go in the buildings this time so it was a little cooler..."
haha so much for enlightening the lad.

The highlight for the kids was when this Japanese film crew decided to ask us- Danny, Sofia, Danny's friend, and me to be in a scene of a tour guide giving us a tour of the Casa De Estudillo. I told the director it would be up to the kids to see if they wanted to. They of course replied with an emphatic yes. So there we were following a tour guide for like 15 minutes while she spoke of what life was like in Old town San Diego. The instructions from the director were simple- act as if what she is saying is interesting and don't look at the camera. After the director yelled cut, the kids were wondering when it would be on TV. He then explained it was for Japanese TV. Danny's friend;
"Who even watches that?"
haha, I replied,
"Well Japanese people..."

While driving to little Italy I drove by the harbor to have them have a look at the Star of India, but they were actually more impressed by the Carnival Cruise Ship that had been stranded in Mexico and had been on the news- its all about being famous or infamous in the now...

At dinner, while trying to pick what to drink, the kids decided it was a special occasion and ordered cokes. It made sense to me. Danny's friend had never been to Little Italy, never eaten Fillipis, there was no school the next day, and it was a sleep over. So I was fine with it. Until Danny's friend mentioned this was like maybe the second or third time in his life he had had a coke- haha oh well...

I'll end this with why Common's G.O.D. is on here tonight. So before we headed out to little Italy, we went to the Old Town Cemetery. While Danny and His buddy were looking and reading up on Yankee Jim's demise, Sofia and me were on the other side of the cemetery, when this conversation started. Sofia;
"So where is GOD buried?"
"You mean Jesus Christ?"
"No, I mean GOD."
"Umm, GOD isn't buried anywhere."
"Where is he?"
"He's hanging out in Heaven I guess."
"Well how did he get there- you have to be buried to get there"
"Not him, he runs heaven so he didn't die to get there- you sure you don't mean Jesus Christ?"
"No, I'm talking about GOD. Well if he's not dead and he didn't get buried, then how did he get there?"
"Well, since he supposedly created everything, he just gets to be there without having to die..."
"Is God even real?"
"Well a lot of people think so-" I get cut off by her
"Because this doesn't really make sense..."
HaHa welcome to religion Fia...

After the Party

"It's like nobody wanna live they life they just wanna reenact the same scene every night..."

Gotta admit sometimes that line is me. Sometimes? Ok the majority of the time. The few times its not me are the days I have Danny and Sofia. Got to pick them up yesterday from school. A couple of hours later, got the text from their mom making sure I had picked them up and not forgotten about them. I understand, she's getting used to having to pick them up on the daily. That is one of the many things that have made me lucky about this year- she has been very understanding about my situation and that has been much appreciated. If this job comes to fruition up there, the whole reason for the second job will be to be able to give that check and hand it to her- however minuscule it might be and regardless of the fact she has a live in boyfriend to help with other expenses. In speaking with my cousin on Saturday in between his gasping for breaths, we were talking about how with a company like triple A and its offices everywhere I should just look at this move to LA as just like a 2 year business trip. Go do my thing there, work another job, get my degree, continue and get rid of this diabetes, then come back and work at the office down here...

Danny is having his best friend stay the night tonight. I plan on taking them to balboa park and old town after I get back from the gym. I have never had another person's kid in my care and have to admit am a little concerned. Now I am awesome with my kids- I know them. I already found out this kid is allergic to peanuts. Great. I have been looking at all the stuff I usually feed the kids to make sure it has no peanut or peanut derivatives in them. I have decided fuck it- they get to have pizza tonight- if thats ok with his parents. I also need to ask for a bedtime, what he can or can't drink, what he can or can't watch, what video games he can't play, does he need a night light, etc... haha maybe I'll just have his parents stay the night too, Damn. If pizza is not ok, I am screwed, haha...

My birthday is 132 days away. I'm going for 1 every 3 days which is gonna take some drastic changes but I think I am up for it. As for Christmas? well if Your name isn't Daniel Lawrence De La Cruz or Sofia Isabel De La Cruz, I'm gonna owe you an IOU... Looks Like I won't need to make a Turkey for Thanksgiving this year, which probably is gonna save the fam from another Bird Flu or Salmonella incident... I Do make some A-1 bad ass mash potatoes though. Basically if Iron Chef ever had a show dedicated to the potato I would win it. I'm the potato version of Bubba from Forest Gump, I can make or will attempt to make anything with the potato- maybe it's the Irish in me...

After the Party by Little Brother. I am practicing my paragraphing which is really the only reason for this post here today. For those of you that work for cool non socialists companies, enjoy your day off. For those that don't well go have a beer after and enjoy it for a veteran. Hell maybe buy one for one.

That Night

My desktop I believe just died. If it did, it took the majority of my music with it, which means I'm a lost soul if its true. I am hoping I have my back up disks somewhere around here...

I'm still waiting for that phone call. I am keeping cool by remembering it took them 4 days from the my second interview to call me for the last one I had on Friday. If I don't hear from them by Thursday I will call to see whats up on Friday. I know I did my part, if they decide they can't do theirs, well I can't do anything about it. Honestly though in the realm of personal lines insurance, it would be like signing Adrian Gonzalez, Lamar Odom, or Peyton Manning for the league minimum. Worry about paying me my worth later. If this is a no go, I'm off to Mexico...

I went to bed way early last night to find myself in some bizarre ass dreams. In one I'm am seriously the captain of a sinking sail boat- haha. I think that was because one of the last texts I got last night was from Brian and how the cruise ship we were on for Hugo's Bachelor party is currently stranded off the coast of Ensenada. The other dreams dealt with other texts I received too I think... Funny how that shit works sometimes. I also slept with the window open which was a tactical mistake as I woke up freezing. Freezing to us Californians is when the temperature drops to the low 50's (Fahrenheit). I know, I know you people in Europe, Canada, and on the east coast laugh, but in the end you know you're still pissed at having to shovel snow in -7 degree weather while out here it warms up to a nice 70 degrees...

I have another interview today but I'm not really all that up for it. I'm tired of these things, plus its with a finance company that deals with loan modifications so I don't see a stable future in that. I don't even know why I agreed. There was also a spot for a DE underwriter in Santa Ana yesterday I spoke to a recruiter about, but I don't know why- Personal lines and Mortgages have nothing in common. This recruiter was just desperate I guess...

I have been reading other people's blogs and how some bloggers get a little hurt that no one comments on theirs. I could care less, there are way too many people writing up these things now and too many far more talented to think people will spend time ingesting and responding to your posts. That's why ultimately you can't be writing this with writing aspirations to be discovered and land a book deal- that shit is ridiculous. Write to entertain you and your friends and if other people come along for the ride, cool...

I am the worst fantasy football GM ever. 2-7 in one league with 3 straight losses and 4-5 in another with 3 straight losses. I'm gonna retire from GM'ing and just go to color commentating next year...

The Lakers are 8-0, the Heat just lost to the Jazz last night. I'm just sayin...

Sometimes you hear shit that is so ridiculous you can't imagine it being true. You try to rationalize it, be open minded about it, want to ask about the other side of things, but in the end its just best to let it go...

Atmosphere's That Night.

House Keys

Back in LA. Danny and me just got back from SD. On the way back we actually stopped in Murrieta for him to do a photo shoot. I decided instead of sitting there to go hit the gym and try to tire myself out so I could see about this sleeping thing. While I am tired, I can't seem to get to bed...

24786 HollyLeaf LN, Murrieta CA. One day there will be a plaque at this address commemorating the fact I once owned this house. Kind of like the beach boys plaque I found the other day and kind of like the one we're working on for Puya and his accomplishment of hitting up every bar in Santa Monica. Drove by the old pad tonight on my way to the gym- Noticed they got rid of the white wooden fence in the front yard. Yep, I was once a homeowner in a previous life, complete with my own mexicans who landscaped my yard. It was a nice little 4 bedroom house with an open ans airy living area, a fire place in the dining area, and a nice little backyard. Basketball hoop in the front of the garage, nice bay window... Lil Danny had his room, Sofia had just been born and she had her own nice little room, and my mom had her own room. She would stay up there during the week to watch the kids while Danica and me went to work since my dad was staying in TJ during the week working. Danny and me had a conversation the other day about the type of people who should own houses and the types who should rent or maybe just own a condo. I have decided I should be a renter, but even though I have decided I should not be a homeowner, Can't say I don't kind of miss that house a little bit. Maybe its just that I miss those times a little bit. I mean sometimes people can get caught up in this matrix of sleeping, working to pay the mortgage, and then coming back to the house of such said mortgage. I mean it in the end to me is mind numbingly repetitive with not much room for joy other than the joy of owning a house I guess. I don't know in the end I tried it and at the time, maybe because I was with the wrong person,it just wasn't for me. I mean there are plenty of things from those times I don't miss at all. I don't miss weighing over 300 lbs, the hour and a half commute each way to work, the isolation of all my friends being in SD still (well except for the Irvings of course), the arguments(one of her most stinging statements "You're not good looking enough or rich enough to pull this shit..."), the car pooling with the ex. Don't get me wrong she is an upstanding and decent person, but imagine waking up, driving for 3 hours daily to the same job, having lunch together every day, coming home eating dinner and then going to bed with the same person, only to repeat it all the next day. Taxing- don't care how much you like the person. But still its nice to say that I at least used to own a house. Made a decent chunk of change when we sold it too. That all however seems like ions ago. I remember I think the only time everyone made it up to the house was for the superbowl between Tampa Bay and Oakland. Good times. The basketball hoop was also the site of my infamous rolled ankle that was caused by my cousin. Fat men cant just decide all the sudden to start playing basketball again. Its a slow process to get back into shape. The garage was pretty empty- I'm not a tool guy, though I did own a chainsaw, cuz well chainsaws are cool. I don't even know what I used it for, I think just to look cool and like a homeowner. Another thing about Murrieta is that really there are no bars- just all these chain restaurants. I remember when I was living there by myself I got into the habit of stopping at Tony Roma's or TGI Fridays for a drink before calling it a night. Then when I got home I would have a Caucasian (a white russian)and sit in front of my tv and watch Dave Chappelle. I also stopped sleeping in the master bedroom and moved into the spare bedroom. For a guy that isn't good at being by himself, this was definitely the loneliest time. Somehow I did ok I think. Let go of the Mexicans and the exterminator and starting mowing the lawn myself. Made myself cook on nights I didnt go to Tony Romas- I even made myself a birthday cake. I started golfing back then and would occupy my time by going to the driving range. To this day I still suck. Anyways, it was a good little jaunt down memory lane tonight. Kobe took over the couch tonight So my ass is just gonna sleep on the ground.
"This is the site where the house owned by Roy De La Cruz once stood. It was here he first thought to write a book and a screen play, the classic (I still havent titled it or completed it yet but this plaque is for the future and by that time I am sure I will have at least given it a title)..." and the plaque would continue on about my greatness.

BRAIN

"I got so much funky shit inside my brain I couldn't explain couldn't explain you wouldn't understand, I couldn't explain..."

Typical me.

I have been sitting most of this day in agonizing anxiousness waiting for a phone call that should be the formal offer for the job with triple A. My Brain seriously hurts. I couldn't even get myself to go to the gym today- that's how much this waiting has consumed me. It's almost gotten to the point where I wish the people who interviewed me hadn't said anything, then I wouldn't be dealing with this. Some bullshit huh, people always want to know how their interviews went and here I am getting instant feedback about mine and instead of enjoying it, I am dreading it. I guess that's just what happens when you know you haven't completely cleared all the hurdles prior to landing the job... I was thinking maybe writing about it might alleviate it some what but as of yet, nope. Music isn't helping, vegging out in front of the TV isn't helping, I know drinking wouldn't help so not going there, so I am right now pretty much my own worst enemy. But even when I do get the call (I better!), the anguish won't stop there- then it will be over thinking about passing the test. I honestly shouldn't have a problem passing it but still I am such a dweeb I can't stop thinking about anything and everything that might prevent me from starting my job. Beyond ridiculous I know, but still...

This thinking shit is bunk. I am in the process of trying to bring back the word "bunk" in order to replace it with any other offensive vernacular I might have. I'm not giving up on this one...

Spent a fun filled day yesterday, watching the Chargers win with a d league squad of receivers, doing the Santee mini tour of watering holes, doing a shot called a wet pussy (why? because they were free) discussing politics and the demise of the US economy, talking the usual amount of shit for fun, blah blah blah I'm a drunken asshole, I know. I guess I am gonna go witness Danny do a photo shoot in Temecula tonight before heading back up to LA- somehow I'm thinking I won't be getting much sleep tonight...

Jungle Brothers, Brain- Maybe if I switch up the music...

Guess Who's Back

"Its been a long time- I shouldn't have left you..." thats actually from another Rakim song I just realized, but fuck it, it also makes sense. Where have I been? where for those that could care less, I was in LA. Hung out there for a week due to a rash of interviews I had up there since last Thursday. Stayed for Halloween weekend, and continued to hang all the way till yesterday. The halloween party was a blast and so was the club, everyone had excellent costumes except for Mohammed the Project, who decided to be a prude and not dress up. He decided the name tag I wrote him would be costume enough. I decided to come up with name tags for everyone and mostly everyone wore them. Well except for two people- one threw his away in disgust (hey if you're gonna act like a serial killer, I'm gonna name you a serial killer) and someone else never got theirs- even though I actually wrote 2 up for them (both were really lame anyways). Anyways the night culminated in the condo being left in disarray although I can't imagine it was much more than Puya's from the Long Beach affair. It was a party trash is gonna happen, maybe not a guy who decides to take off his pants to go to bed in front of everyone, but trash? Yes- thats all I'm sayin...
While up there I hit up 6 different 24 hr fitnesses in search for a good replacement to the one off of Slauson, because well lets be honest, its on Slauson. If I had to rank them and hell since I have nothing especially special to write about I would rank them like this from best to worst;
Hermosa Beach (white folk apparently dont play basketball shot alone for over an hour)
La Mirada (Asians loved them some basketball- easy to rebound and score at will if you are over 5'8")
Los Alamitos ( best mix- still had my way)
Hawthorne (best games were here)
Slauson (got tired of all the shit talking and actually left the court with my ball during the middle of the game)
Crenshaw Blvd/PCH (no basketball and no ventilation if you enjoy ball sweat funk this is the place for you)
Redondo Beach ( No basketball completely unacceptable)
As for the talent that works out, it the same except switch Redondo beach and put it ahead of crenshaw and its the same.
I was actually gonna head back home on Monday, but while at one of these gyms I got a call for another interview in woodland hills. The next day I got a call for another interview on Thursday and since I had nothing to do on Wednesday, I went to a job fair in Ontario. I didn't know how fucking far Ontario was from LA until I decided to map my destination. By then I had already registered so I decided what the hell- I had nothing else better to do. It sucked- wasn't worth the trip. Even the stop for lunch sucked. Thursday I had an interview with another Health Insurance Company- who I've decided are a bunch of elitist because... well I don't know because, I guess its cuz I have interviewed poorly with all of them I guess. The only saving grace was that the girl who interviewed was, umm, hot. When the interview was winding down I thought about asking her out, haha j/k. I really wouldnt have but it did cross my mind. I don't know what it is with these Health insurance companies and why they think they are the pinnacle of insurance. Everyone knows its all about personal lines. Pinnacle by the way is the word for the day. Really I don't know why they think they are all so mighty, I mean they are all going to go to ruin once the healthcare reform goes into full effect right? So F them and their affiliates. I didnt want to work for them anyways.
Anyways also on Thursday I went and finally spoke to one of them for profit universities because they have been hounding me to come in and talk to them (yeah I talking to you Christine from Devry). So I met with someone from the U of Phoenix and found out that if I hauled ass, I could get a degree in Business Management within 18 months. So that's what I plan on doing once I get back to full speed.
Wednesdday I had gotten a call from Triple A setting me up for an interview for Friday, but by Thursday night, I had basically had it with LA, no offense but it just felt like I was spinning my wheels and not going anywhere or really accomplishing anything. So I guess I wasnt really fed up with LA, I was just fed up with the situation I was in. Also I hate being in one place for too long so I needed a drink. Having what I thought no one to go get a drink with, I made my plans to Wes known I would be heading to the Bigfoot. Why to see if I would be allowed again from my BS antics from the previous outing there. Wes gets offended I hadnt invited him ( I had thought he would be in for the night since he was in his jammies). After a brief stop at Baja to basically just advise Puya of our Bigfoot plans, we arrived. As soon as I walk in, the barback smile shakes my hand and asks if I would be spurting out any racial slurs on this night. I laugh, apologize, and reply no. He just laughed and said it was a memorable night. Danny had also run into the Venezuelan who, after hearing his accent, had advised him I didn't speak puerto rican. Haha that guy asked about me too. I am hoping I'm just that memorable but in reality I'm probably just that much of an asshole that people remember my assholeness. I have decided that if men were lame enough to watch a non sports male version of the view (which we are not, I'm just saying), that Puya, Danny, Wes, and Me would make for excellent hosts. Our conversations are top notch.

Anyways by Friday I had definitely had it and it didn't help that the security guard at triple A was a major A-hole- actually he was more like a 5 star general A hole. I figured I would just interview and get the fuck back to SD. An hour and half later, I was told by one of the people that were in the interview interviewing me that I gave a "helluva" interview and that it had been one of the best interviews he had ever heard. I guess all the other interviews had culminated in me not caring about what I thought they would think what I had to say and so I basically hit them with all my accomplishments as a supervisor (after a quick explanation as to why I was no longer with my former company- thanks again!) The other interviewer told me that because procedures had changed, she couldnt officially offer me the job but that I would be getting a formal offer from HR. She paused then said " 99 % positive. plus you will be working with me and from what we have discussed I will eventually have you helping me out- they should be calling you to arrange your drug test and if for some reason they don't, call me and I'll get the ball rolling..."

So unless that 1% comes to reality, I'll be moving to LA and will start the quest for a second job...

Rakim folks- come on Columbo you had to know this one...

Limeade

so im guessing theres questions that need addressing
like why i drink so much why i act that way why I write what I do
humm, which I knew
could say its a girl but thats generic
could say cuz I'm jobless but thats included
maybe I wasnt taught right
maybe I didnt learn right
maybe it was one too many arguements and fights
maybe its cus I care more about others
as in what they think of me
what they expect of me
or just if they even like me
maybe its cuz my bank account is empty
wait let me take that back cuz I owe the bank money
insufficient funds
still dont prevent me from beer and dip runs
maybe its cuz I miss my kids
miss my job miss the sex
take too much time tryin to catch wreck
spend too much on sending texts
seems everything I do is taken outta context
but I'm chino xl- too complex
life isnt fair not that you'd understand or care
so please bail if all you plan to do is stare
cuz it freaks me out
that you think you know what I'm about
you don't
I'm here trying to mount a comeback
regain my train of thought
my life didnt stop its just on pause
once I hit play again
gonna just stick to who still wanna be friends
this is the end of my statement
hope I've answered your questions...

Da Pain

I started writing just to be somebody, then I realized I already was...

we are a van full of pakistans at the Jordan residence tonight- I wasn't planning on coming up tonight or this weekend but I got a call from triple a yesterday and after the phone interview they scheduled me for an interview, well this morning since its already 1 am, in Burbank and
speaking with Brian I decided I should come up instead of having a possible 4 hr trek from SD. I am sure I will interview fine I just don't know if I should say something about my credit issues or if I should just let them sort it out. Someone told me that I should dispute everything so they can see I'm disputing it and that they'll maybe disregard everything so thats what I did last night. If anything after the interview It'll give me a chance to hit up griffith park again. Then I'm gonnna head to the hollywood sign and check that out finally...

I'm outside as to not disturb this guy named Wu from sleeping but its freezing, I just got back from the gym and I'm completely soaked. Too Cold I'm calling it a post. This might be the shortest one ever.

Supreme the Elohem or whatever the hell that means. nice track from a member of duck down. I am off to see if I can sleep. Adios.

Not Another Day

Yesterday I headed off to downtown. There is this site called king of happy hour and I checked it out to find this place that had 2 dollar bud lights. It's called redzone. Maybe if the crowd was better or maybe if it wasn't right next to the trolley stop it might have been a decent place to watch the game. But its right next to the trolley stop and the crowd is... not so much. Not wanting to deal with traffic and not wanting to pay for parking I decided to park way out of the gas lamp district. Plus I decided it would be a good walk if I ended up having one too many. I had also gone down to help out and donate some money for a homeless shelter's kids halloween party. Apparently they had requested fried chicken and the person in charge was raising funds to grant them their request. Anyways on the walk down to the gaslamp from where I parked I noticed a bum was wrapped up and sleeping. It was all of 645 pm. I thought to myself, if I was a bum I would never go to sleep early- I would rock out til the morning. But thats just me. Anyways after the failure of redzone I headed off to rock bottom to meet up with Claudia and her friend so that I could drop off the money. There I basically crashed a birthday party, had a couple more drinks and found myself sitting next to some british guy who had just flown in. We start talking about sports. apparently he is a big cowboys fan and he tells me why that is. Back in London when he was like 10 he had recorded the superbowl that they were playing. Since they won bam he became a fan. He is actually like a real fan too- knows all the players and what not. Anyways during this I had to interrupt him to let him know I didn't speak Celtic. Haha thats my new thing I guess. He just laughed and said he couldn't help his accent- I told him I was just kidding. He also said He loved San Diego and that this was his second time back and that out of all the places in the USA this was his favorite? Oh yeah?
" Then tell me sir why would you parade yourself in downtown san diego wearing a giant shirt?"
"I thought since the Paaaadres (attempting his accent) weren't in it you all would be rooting for the california team."
" First of all its Pawdres not whatever you just called them haha just kidding. But seriously no. No padre fan is gonna sit here and tell you to wear a giants shirt and cheer them to world series victory..."
" Have you been to the Zoo?"
"no."
"How can you possibly say you love San Diego the most out of any city including LA and New York and not have gone to the zoo? you know its world famous? Other than the stupid pandas its a must stop."
hahaha we just started laughing- this guy knows comedy. He's here for another couple of days and I left him with a to do list for while he is here- Pacific and Ocean Beach, Cabrillo National Monument, Golden hill and north park, and the Zoo, haha.
After a brief stop at the whiskey girl, I decided I needed to call it a night. I had exceeded my allotment of beverages I had planned to drink but that was ok because it had been a nice night. I had a long walk back to the car and I figured if that wasnt good enough I could just hang out for a bit. On my way back, I notice the bum ( I forgot to ask what they prefer to be called a bum, homeless, or hobo...)that was sleeping earlier was no longer wrapped up and he was just looking up at the buildings and sky. Figuring I had time to kill, I stopped.
" Hey can I ask you something?"
"Sure"
"Why do you go to sleep so early?"
" Nothing else to do. plus if I wake up early I can get in line for some free coffee and bread at the shelter."
"Makes sense..."
At this point in realizing he is not crazy, not irrational, and seems quite normal I decide to ask him another question.
" Can I ask you something else?"
" yeah go ahead..."- He's just lounging in his sleeping bag with his belongings at his feet looking up at the night sky and buildings. I wasn't trying to change the guys life, or trying to document the plight of the homeless. I was just trying to converse with who I thought would be one to bring interesting conversation.
" What did you do before?"
" Before I lived on the streets?"
"Yeah before you used the union building sign as a night light."
He laughs.
" I worked construction. I was a laborer. Then I lost my job and didnt bother getting another one. So I ended up here"
" No family?"
I don't remember his reponse to that one because he asked me a question. I had by the point sat down on the sidewalk
" What do you do?"
" I am out of work. I used to work in insurance. But I havent worked since February."
" Do you get unemployment?"
"yeah but its not nearly enough. Its not what I'm used to getting paid."
"well at least its something."
I stop and think real quick. Here I was about to start bitching about the small amount of money my unemployment check was to some guy who was sleeping on the sidewalk. How much of an asshole am I?
" you're right"
The guy then asks me;
" You still looking for a job?"
"yeah actually but my credit is preventing me from hired. I actually got selected for an underwriting spot down here in one of these buildings about a couple of weeks ago. Commercial underwriting. But when they asked me about my credit and I told them about some things, they told me they wouldnt be able to hire me. So I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. I have an interview Friday in LA."
" LA huh? I prefer stayin down here"
I realize I am talking more about me so I bring it back to him.
" So you think you will ever not live out here?"
" I hope I don't but I'm not exactly trying- I sometimes drink too much."
" Me too man."
The rest is regular guy b.s. the chargers, padres, Adrian Gonzalez, hot women that walk by him sometimes, that almost motivate him to get back to work...
I finally decide to call it a night and as I am leaving I decide what the hell...
" Here man. I am broke as fuck myself but figure I would probably just end up drinking this away anyways." I handed him a 20.
" Are you sure man? Thanks! This is like coffee and food for a week."
" Man I don't care if you buy a beer with it too. I just..." I realized I was stereotyping him.
" Dude its yours to do what you want."
At this point we had awoken another homeless guy and he starts asking the guy I was talking to if he'd buy him something in the morning. what the hell...

" Dude here you go." I handed him a 10. Why? Because honestly, those 30 bucks to me just represented about 6 beers. To them it represented more important things. I'm not mother teresa or anyshit like that- I'm just a guy who drinks and needed to chill for a bit before heading on home. As I am walking away;

" Hey thanks again for the money man- Good luck with your interview in LA."
" No problem man. Thanks."

His name was Eric.

Not Another Day by Atmosphere-third verse.

Travel(remix)

"We travel like the wind across the rotten fruited plain. We travel like the blood that surrounds your brain. Atmosphere has landed, demanding that we raise the curve. Expand the kingdom, all heads of the earth..."

I think I have my answer as to the types of jobs I can no longer apply to. Out of 28 that were to get hired at United Health, I was not one of them. At least now I know why. Its actually is a little comfort knowing there is nothing I really can do about it. That came out wrong- the comfort is in knowing I do interview well, hence me having 2nd and 3rd interviews and just not getting them because of some number. Yeah the number is my fault but I can't fix it right now. Anyways now I just have to concentrate on regaining my Property and Casualty license (just gotta save up for the exam fees, renewal fees, courses/hours fees- the exam itself is easy.)and try to land a job at an Eastwood, Adrianas or some place like that. I don't know if its knowing its my credit or the fact I have been thinking a lot clearer this last week about myself that I'm not bummed and primed to hit a bar. I have come to understand I have lots of outs left. In hold 'em, outs are cards that still give you a shot at winning the hand. I know I still have some...

Speaking of my job status I had promised some car insurance advice- here are a few tips; In California, its against the law to discriminate based on age. So auto insurance companies are not allowed to use age as a factor. So the whole thing about insurance dropping once you turn 25 is not exactly true in this state- no matter what the schmoe at the insurance company you got insurance at tells you. In California they care about how long you have been licensed. So if you were licensed at the age of 16, then yes the 25 yr old thing would still apply. If you moved from New York, Chicago, or somewhere where the public transportation system was good and there was no need for a license and you're 25, not so much. If you first get your license at 25, you will have the same experience rate as a 16 yr old teenager (if you think about it, it makes sense right?) So if you have a kid close to being of legal driving age, get them their license-even if you aren't gonna let them drive till like they are 18 or something. on paper it will count as driving experience even though he/she hasn't driven. This is important because the major discount in California is the California Good Driver discount and you need 3 yrs of driving experience to qualify for it (also no more than one ticket or at fault non injury accident and no DUIs within the last 10 yrs)

Also California allows insurance companies to offer discounts based on your occupation- so if you're an account executive, office manager, lawyer, software engineer, etc... and you're with a company that doesn't offer this type of discount, you might be getting screwed. Normally its the bigger companies, (all state, GEICO, State Farm, Progressive etc.. that offer these discounts). Sorry bartenders, migrant workers, waiters, police officers, cashiers- you don't qualify in most cases.

Package your insurance policies- even if you don't own a home, having renter's insurance isn't only a good idea especially if you live in a somewhat shiesty area, but it could drop your auto insurance as well. You all should have known this one by now.

Double check your mileage- now I'm not gonna tell you to not be forthwright, but a lot of these companies now allow you to adjust your annual mileage on line. If you own multiple vehicles do you really drive each one at least 12k a year? of course not. You split the mileage evenly and drive them both 6k a year right? And if you only own one car, you carpool right? to do your part for the environment? Also think of all the cab drives you take on weekends. Do you really drive 15k-20k a year? Or is it more like 9K a year? You miscalculated the distance between work right? its not really a 30 miles one way. Its only 10... Sure some might end up asking for proof that you only drive so much, but then these are the companies you shouldnt be giving your business to if they arent gonna take your word for it.

Don't just take your agents word for the coverages you need, remember they have to make money off of you. question each coverage and each coverage limit. Or fuck it ask me.

I'm off to the gym, zoo, donate some money to help out with homeless children's halloween party, and have a beer for Jared's speedy recovery. Jared's in the military and all of his friends just found out he was wounded in action. Go thank a Veteran for their part in letting you lead the life you do.

Hey Ladies Fans

So tonight I found myself in downtown at some bar called the Local. Not too bad a place. I had always driven by it and always wanted to check it out. They have a good beer special on Mondays if you like bud light, dollar off if you want the pricey stuff. I also noticed that Wednesdays is trivia night where they have 10 buck pitchers of most domestics and also of Dos Equis, so if anyone is ever down to watch the display that is me acting like I know every answer when I don't, let me know. They have a pretty good selection of local brews as well. I will need to stay away from Thursday as that night they have their stone pale ale special at 3 bucks a pint... I am practicing this whole moderation thing and tonight was a success. After 2 pints I switched to water, ate, saw that Tony Romo got injured and bailed. He was on my fantasy football team and the only reason I decided to go out was to check to see if he could bring me the glory. Nope.
Anyways as is always the case being downtown and close to Little Italy reminded me of this dating tale. It occurred not to long ago I wanna say in January. A friend from work and me were at this place called the blue foot on a Tuesday night and began talking to these ladies who were dressed like they had just gotten off of work. They were also apparently very intoxicated. Well one of them and me started to hit it off. Her name was Adrian. I refrained from what I can only assume was a tired Rocky reference of yelling out "Adrian" in an attempted Sylvester Stallone voice. We were talking shit to each other about the jobs we had, the music we listened to, and the beers we drank.Now I love me a good beer, but when the objective is to have more than a few,I prefer bud light-well cuz I'm always trying to watch my figure. haha no. its cuz its economical for me. Have you not noticed how much I drink? I would have been homeless a lot sooner by now if I always drank Hef or New Castle or Stone. She was also in disbelief that she had met someone named Roy. "Who's named Roy nowadays? thats like a dog's name- isn't their dog food named Roy's or something?" haha. There is I think-good one. She was also from Pennsylvania and when I mentioned I had been there a few times and liked it, that seemed to grab her attention. I also told her the PA story I just put up here on this blog and it went over well. The rest of her party kept trying to pull her away to call it a night but she was refusing for awhile. They would look at me disapprovingly even though I was only doing harmless small talk bullshit type banter. Anyways they finally succeeded but before she left (at this point she was wasted) she tells me I should get her number. How do I know she was wasted? Because I had already asked and gotten her number. As she was walking out she mentioned something about living in Little Italy and that we should meet up for a drink sometime closer to there. She also mentioned something about the Mexican Consulate, but at the time I really wasn't able to hear what she had said- I just assumed it being in Little Italy as well, that she was trying to say she lived by there. I remember I worked like 13 hours on Wednesday so I was too tired to call or text her and decided just to give her a call on Thursday. After calling her Thursday and talking for a bit we decide on Friday we should meet up for a drink at this place called Anthology. They usually also have live music so it was sounding like it would be a good time. I get there first and decide of course to have a quick drink before she arrived. She actually got there at the time she was said she was (not that thats important because I am usually always late). But as I go to greet her I can tell something has confused her. "Roy?"
"yeah, why do I somehow look different?"
" oh no, I was just making sure..."
I go ahead and ask her whats she's having and she orders a martini. We start to talking for a little bit and its going pretty much like Tuesday. Then she brings up what she had said about Mexican Consulate again. Turns out she was talking shit about all the fuckin mexicans who are always lined up in the morning and how they all are rude and never let her walk through on the way to work. She was lucky enough to work and live in Little Italy. She then starts pretty much going off on Mexicans and Mexico overall- its dirty, they're dirty, third world country... I just started laughing and shaking my head. Of course I would get a date with a bigot. She then realizes I am Mexican. She would later tell me when she saw me again she had hoped I was Italian or Middle Eastern and that she had been thrown off by the fact my name was Roy. Yeah, because all Mexicans are named either Jorge Juan or Felipe, I guess. Anyways I just start to laugh order her another round and tell her it had been a pleasure but that maybe we should cut our losses. She sheepishly smiled tried to pay for her own drinks, but at this point I wasn't even mad- I was impressed at this new dating folly so I just paid the tab and headed off to meet D at the Turf.

Either this was one of the most extremely rude ways to cut short a date on purpose or I now know why her friends had been giving me a disapproving look at the Blue Foot.


I'm not gonna talk about your background or your origins. Who am I kidding? Thats exactly what I'm gonna talk about...
This song came on the itunes today and I decided to post it for the Russians who for some reason- I'm its sure the excellent videos actually- keep checking this page out. I'm now concerned this is on some spies like us tip so if I ever go missing, try looking for me in St Petersburg...

Ill Mitch- Hey Ladies Fan. props to Sag for discovering this possibly Russian-most likely not- rapper.

I got 5 on it

Last night scratched off another legendary group from the still need to see list. Pete Rock and CL Smooth. They are best known for the classic T.R.O.Y., but they have plenty of other classic songs. Also Pete Rock is a legendary producer- not a legendary MC, we could live without his attempt to rap, kind of like I should live without my attempt to write- but anyways, A member of the group LMNO was right in front of us during the show and like my cousin pointed out, he was so blazed it was like he was sleepwalking. His eyes were basically closed and he could have been mistaken for a zombie. As if he had smoked the Frankenstein weed from Grandma's boy. The show was the end to an action packed day which began with a trip to the gym, then some basketball by the beach ala king and duck, then my kid's school carnival, and finally the show. This had me on my feet or running around for the better part of 12 hours. Which made me decide to go ahead and be god like and take the 7th day off (today) to rest. While waiting for Pete and CL to come on the DJ played a nice playlist from back in the day. Why because the majority of the people at this concert would be around my age. I dragged my cousins along and they were joking on the way that they would most likely be the youngest people there. Which other than maybe a couple of other girls there, they might have been right. Anyways one of the songs that came on was, you guessed it this luniz joint (ha get it- yeah I'm a dork). Anyways it got me to thinking- I am a failed ganja, herb, or stick if you will, smoker. There are just too many reasons why I am. So I stay away. You wanna read about it?

Ok here we go. Please note for all you non smokers and Nancy Reagans, these stories are years old- we're talking high school times. Again this is one thing I have been retired from for a long ass time. I'm not smoking it and blowing it into my kids' faces nowadays...

First of all, it makes me pass out. Once while in PB it got passed to me and not wanting to spoil the puff puff pass flow, went and hit it. I was told not 15 minutes later I had gone to pass out in my buddy's room. Which he wouldn't had minded so much if his girlfriend hadn't been drunk and gone to go pass out herself and didn't realize she had been sleeping next to me until a few hours later... But more commonly would be the times friends would come over to my apartment, want to get blazed and watch a movie and I'd pass out 10 minutes into Anchor Man, the aforementioned grandma's boy, Old School... So its no fun when all I end up doing is going to sleep. Although the last special lady friend I had was all about it and supposedly there are strains that actually do the opposite. I find this hard to believe...

Second, on the occasions I don't pass out, it voids me of any rational eating restraints. Once back during the pizza hut days, we went to a friend's after work with like 6 pizzas. They decided to try whats called a bucket bong, which is a bucket fashioned to be used for smoking. Well after a few hits of that, I got hungry and proceeded to consume at least 3 of those pizzas by myself in about 10 minutes. 10 minutes later I would be leaning over the balcony puking it all up. I am pretty sure I was laughing the whole time while puking too, which leads me to the final reason;

I have a ridiculous and obnoxious laugh when I'm not higher than eagle nuts, so just imagine when I am. Once while hanging out with a friend- who is a frequent user- in OB, we were wrapping up a night of drinking by going to enjoy a burrito. Well while waiting for our order I notice something fall out of some dude's pocket. It turns out it was what I would guess a couple of grams or more of the green- I dunno when it comes to weed I don't know the measurements by eye. Anyways knowing my buddy is a fan I quickly pushed it with my foot towards me scooped it up and surprised him with it when the dude that had dropped it was gone. We then for some reason proceed to go to another buddy's house- we'll just call him "joe" for security reasons- so that they could enjoy my finding. Well they convince me to try it since I had been the one to find it so I went with it. Well this "Joe" character starts talking about how his roommates can't believe he hates Tiger Woods (this was pre finding out he had cheated on his wife, when it seemed he was just a good ol' fashion nerd) At one point his story goes to how they are watching a tournament and Tiger is winning and from nowhere his roommates' dad goes to "Joe"
"HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS GUY! REALLY HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS GUY?"
Obviously sometimes when you're stoned anything remotely funny is gonna trigger hardcore laughter. The way "Joe" had told the story with the culmination of him trying to impersonate a confused old man got me rolling. I didn't stop laughing at the top of my lungs for a solid ten to 15 minutes. My ridiculous and obnoxious laugh triggered them to start dying laughing. It woke up his room mates apparently. It was actually noted on the facebook when it occurred. "Joe" posted something to my wall about my laughter, I replied and his room mate ended up replying;
"That awful sound was his laughter? Me and (his special lady friend) thought it was some animal out in the wild that was dying..."

So for these reasons I find it best to stay away from this drug... Enjoy your Monday morning...

I'll Be OK

"As long as I know right from wrong I'll be ok I'll sing my songs..."

My new daily routine-
wake up at 8am, scour the internet for jobs with 16 oz of coffee in hand, write, maybe write a little more, proceed to my Hershal Walker exercise plan that consists of sets of push ups (100 total), sit ups (200 total). Maybe have some oatmeal/honey nut cheerios/frosted flakes, all this while listening to music, posting bs on the face, ignoring phone calls from bill collectors, and drinking 3 pints of water. Then hit the gym where I do 4 to 5 miles of exercise either on the treadmill or elliptical, then shoot some ball for a half hour maybe play a game or two, and into the sauna for 20 minutes. leave the gym and do an extra exercise like rockin the zoo, hitting up cowles mountain, or head back to the gym for more bball shooting. comeback drink 3 or 4 more pints of water, shower, get antsy just sitting here, maybe write some more, def listen to more music, plan to stay in, get a call or text from someone heading out, debate for 5 mins if I should go out, go out, get drunk, eat at denny's (southern omelette with hash browns has 1070 calories and 80 grams of fat... wow man wow.), or stay in watch the history channel or 48hours try to go to sleep around midnight, give up get out of bed head to the tv/computer room stay up till 4, fall asleep on the couch wake up around 6 head to bed, wake up at 8am. repeat Have I mentioned I discovered my love of fishing?

Speaking of the Gym, tonight's conversation with Sofia;
" Why do you go to the gym so much?"
" Because I am getting healthy and skinny"
" So- When's that gonna happen?"

:/ hahaha


...Christ I tried to replicate the drivel of other blogs but I just couldn't. back to my own version of drivel...



Last night was what going out should be about. I met up with Nick and Brian at some bar and grill in Mira Mesa. To skip the traffic that is Mira Mesa Blvd. I decided to get off on Carroll Canyon rd. That got me a little pissed. Carroll Canyon road is the exit that my work used to be off. Bitterness, anger, regret, all set in and for a moment I thought it was gonna ruin the night. Nick asked me the other day if I was done grieving over the loss of my job. Up until last night I don't think I had. Carroll Canyon is also where Brandon works. He is a construction worker and they are expanding the off ramp. I was still thinking about the AG all the way to the bar and as I sat down. But 30 seconds in and we were all laughing. It didn't turn into a night of drinking to forget, or as a temporary band aid for me. It was a true honest good night. Laughing the whole time at Callahan's, watching the Giants lose to the Phillies- our conversation are epic and ridiculous.
" your weiner is like a petri dish"
" It felt like I was doing my mattress"
"who's that hot chic pitching for the Giants?"
"1 pm on Wednesdays peak time to speak to Brian..."
hahaha man. It a great feeling to know I have two guys like these that not only put up with my moodiness, retardeness, drunkeness, (insert whatever else I maybe missing) but make it go away, without having to really talk about anything. I actually have a couple of other friends like that but last night it was these two. The party moved on to Patricks in Poway where we conversed on Slavic history, The civil War, the downfall of the USA, how lame politics are (democrats, repubs and everyone in between), and management styles and why the corporate world sucks. Then proceeded to getting shot down by girls and sobering up at Denny's eating, having some coffee talking to our usual waiter. We realized we were the only ones inside of Denny's last night (how you come up with the name swollen members? drunk at Denny's!)Thats what an outing should be about. not getting stupid, not not knowing what you were doing, drinking till a debate about whether you should get hauled off to detox, etc... Remembering the whole night with the cool people you have the privilege to call friends and waking up regretting the trip to denny's. Only improvement really would be the whole getting shot down thing. haha.


to the waiter- " you're awesome!"
his reply? " Naw Man you guys are Awesome!"


I'll be Ok from Aesop Rock featuring Slug because with friends like these I know I will be.

this quote is what I feel about my friends, though I am both the crazy and the drunk...

"General Grant is a great general. I know him well. He stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk; and now, sir, we stand by each other always.".