The issues that have caused me to be unable to sleep, drink more than I should, not eat, and have made me more silent than ever;
- The house is gone, foreclosed. We are out of here in December. This has been my moms house since 1989 and feel nothing short of a failure. It was why I moved back in for. My mom is all situated where she will go, but not me.
- Kids have no health insurance right now.
-Apparently I received some bad tax advice back in 2008 and 2009. Now I am having to deal with that.
-Old company didnt flat cancel my COBRA when they sent me revised numbers (like usual they had messed up on the first set of prices) Now they want to charge me for the months I supposedly was on it.
- The ex advised me she is gonna get full custody and is thinking about moving up north
- other family members plights- Including family in Veracruz and in Tabasco. Haven't spoken with my dad's side of the family since 2004 and wonder what is going on. Don't even know if my grandma is still alive.
- My unemployment benefits ran out. and didnt hear until very recently that I had been approved for an extension.
- My credit- this foreclosure thing has really given my credit a beating. A solid UFC type ground and pound. Like not even an ankle lock or arm bar submission type of win- a real ass kicking.And there's nothing like those freakin commercials to remind me.
- Unemployed since February 22. Longest stretch since I was 16 I haven't had a job. Quick run down of all the places I have worked; K-mart (16), Pizza Hut (16-20), Kenyon Construction (18), Mobil (18-20), the Wherehouse (20-23), GEICO (21-27), Anchor General (27-31). And I also spent time working for De La Cruz Structural Steel.
The things that have me getting up after a restless night,smiling, and still appreciating life;
- I don't live in Somalia, Iraq, Liberia, Rwanda....
- The daily suicide checks from Brandon. they always start with " You still alive? why?" Haha Known this guy since 5th grade and he is one of the most blunt and forward, doesnt give a rats ass if you don't like what he says people. But he calls me daily to talk a little shit, give me some backhanded compliments on my life, and throws in some words of encouragement.
- throughout this I have managed to get into some sort of shape- met with the ex for the first time in a few months and can't remember any time when we were married she threw a compliment my way. but she did manage a " you look like you're kinda of losing some weight..." ha!
- The music I listen to- always there for me when no one else can be.
- This site, for all you that read it even knowing full well it will have some depressing ass shit, thanks. But more importantly its been a release to get shit out of my mind, remind me of good times had with good people. If you have ever been involved in one of the outings that make this blog, I thank you for having hung out and put up with me. I reread all of these myself, not because of the excellent writing, music or hilarity I manage to describe, but because it reminds me of all you all.
- My kids. Danny on Saturday while I was making dinner comes up to me and tells me that while I was busy cooking and that by the way he appreciated that I was making a good dinner, lets me know that he has organized and cleaned up the TV room. It has been where I am organizing all my cds and frankly it was in disarray. he took the time to clean it up on his own. While many parents claim it, well I'll just say my kids are in the top percent of greatest kids on this planet.
-The world, no matter how bad and exaggerated my mind may make this all out to be, there are other people out there that have it much much worse. some don't eat cuz they don't have food, some don't sleep because they don't have a place to sleep. It's not a "thank god I'm not them" feeling- its more a what you're going through isn't "that bad in the grand scheme of things" feeling
- Me, cuz throughout all of this I still consider myself one Bad Ass Mother fucker. There are just lapses sometimes.
So (ul) Amazing (Steel Blazing)- by Blu and Exile. Leo actually found them on myspace one day trying to find some music. very impressive album.
No comments:
Post a Comment