Felt - Morris Day

Should I try to aspire you to write my style?

Since I've decided I'm done working for the day and am waiting for a ride, I actually have time to amuse you with more of my mediocre writing/story telling. I decided on posting a Felt song as a tribute to my shirt which I have decided to retire. Oh I'll still use it to work out or play basketball in, but the time has come to no longer be out and about the greater Phoenix area rocking it. I have reinforcements on the way, and plus its had a famous two year run as my FB profile can attest to

Back in my more youthful but less handsome days, around 8th grade, I believe,  out in the Suburbs of San Diego a rise in tagging commenced. No, I was not a part of that silliness-at least not initially and not for serious. I hung out that year mostly with a couple of guys named Brandon and Steve, and we actually had a good time making fun of all these kids starting to tag up the school, park, and neighborhood with their ridiculous tag names and crews. There was the Kid, Slim, Tiki, and all sorts of other lame ass names. Anyways one day we were joking around and making fun of these cats, when we decided we should come up with an even lamer name for a crew than what was already out there. Our Initials of our first names came up with what we thought was an aptly titled reply to all this nonsense. All we needed to add was a "we".  And BAM! a crew name was born- "We R.B.S." as in our initials cleverly disguised as "we are bull shit" for the slower readers out there.

We decided one night while we were all spending the night together at one of our houses that, what better way to make fun of all this  by tagging the biggest, most visible thing at our school. THE BALL WALL. So off we went in the middle of the night with a can of Red, or brown spray paint- I dont know the exact color as I am color blind-but color didn't matter. What did matter was gonna be how hilarious we thought it was going to be to paint the biggest tag out of all the so called crews out there with "WE R. B. S.". Problem was, us three were not exactly expert taggers, especially in the dark. We were all gonna take turns spray painting our own initials but as it was dark, none of us really knew where the other had ended their letter. Plus since the ball wall was pretty out in the open and visible to a major cross street we kept looking for the 5-0 (officers of the law for those of you not hip to the game) in case we had to RFTC (thats an Atmosphere song for all you that don't know- Run From The Cops, its about a tagger and being caught by a hip hop loving cop...anyways) So since we were novices at this vandalism thing, and since we were more busy looking out for cops that looking at our tagging, our " WE R. B. S." vision of a tag looked more like "weRB" with an "S" somewhere floating out looking more like a snake... It was however the most notable tag I can remember from those days and we felt we had made our point.

While WE R. B. S.'s crew tagging days was short lived, it was quite the lyrics writing crew. We had a project due in History regarding slavery and we decided we would bust out the pad and pen and make a rap song out of it. This is actually the first time I ever wrote any kind of lyric. Again, we were trying to be funny with it but we still took it seriously. Way seriously actually. For you kids that never owned a cassette single of any song, there was a time, that when you bought a cassette single, the "B" side would usually just be the instrumental to the song. After hours of writing to TOO SHORT's The Ghetto, we decided it wouldnt work to cut it up into three verses. Then we busted out the GETO BOYs " Mind Playing Tricks on Me" and bam! it was perfect- we were three lyricists, and the song had three distinct verses. We spent a whole night getting every cadence and syllable of our verses we had written to match the song. Its actually pretty funny today how hard we worked on it-all for a History project. You would have to be pretty old, and in GATE at Cajon Park, but we rocked Ms. Follett's History class that day. At least that's how I like to remember it. Thinking back on it, I think time was running out for the period and Brandon didn't want to wait for the next day to perform because he was getting all anxious and nervous about performing our classic song, that I'm pretty sure we just squeezed it into the final minutes. People were too busy packing and waiting to leave class to truly appreciate the greatness. Anyways, we would go and continue to write songs off instrumentals for a few more months, but realized as we were only 14 and we weren't going to be rockin the Sports Arena anytime soon, to put our Rap careers on ice for the time being. That classic track for history is long gone- all I know is that it was about being a slave on a ship or some shit and one of us played the slavemaster, another one was the captain of the ship and one of us was the slave. I'm gonna go ahead and proclaim it as ahead of its time- you all weren't ready for it.

Hieroglyphics - You Never Knew

" You know Michael, today is my only day off..."
" So are you saying we should go to the bar and have a few?"
" I'm just sayin..."
" Maybe we should go pick up Ruben..."

And that's how  a ridiculous Sunday Fun-day started. We returned back to Ruben, who had finished showering, I borrowed a shirt from him since I had gotten Salsa on my Felt shirt the night before (that's another story), and as we headed out into the unknown drunken abyss, Ruben mentioned that maybe we should pretend someone had broken up with his girlfriend to justify our most recent drunken spree. This is where the seed was planted....

So it started out like any other Sunday, we headed to the local Hooters as a change of pace from the tilted kilt. The air conditioner was broken and the restaurant was too hot for us, so we decided after a few, and after making fun of Ruben for his ordering of Strawberry frozen margaritas, to head on out.

" I wonder why Zipps wouldn't advise other Zipps when customers have met the 5 32oz limit- I mean they could just go ot another Zipps and start on a new set of 5..."

"Let's be honest Ruben, only about 1% of the population would even be able to drink 5 32 oz, let alone find their way to another Zipps and drink 5 more...Sadly we're that 1%..."

 we hit up another spot we had previously been to- 11:30, for its 10.00 bottles of champagne Ruben decided we should cheers with our Mimosa's- my toast;

" to Sunday and to somehow convincing the rest of the world we're not gay as we are toasting with Mimosas"

we watched a surprisingly close Gold Medal Basketball game- one we couldn't figure out if it was live or not -and then decided to head out- The Hooters waitress had told us of this Mexican restaurant where they only serve you one Margarita-thats their limit supposedly. So Mike Ruben and I decided to test this so called limit and head in. Turns out not only were we given false information, we would meet up with our central character of the evening- Maggie!

Now by this time we are way beyond sober but Maggie was a sweetheart and was having a good time with us. So much so that I proposed to her, but alas she was already taken....

"MAGGIE will you marry me!"
" hahaha, I have a boyfriend..."
" That would be awkward to marry him too. I GUARANTEE I HAVE A BETTER LAST NAME!"
" DE LA CRUZ! Tell me Maggie De La Cruz doesnt sound Royal!"
" would you like to have kids"
laughing she replies yes.
" How many?"
"2."
" Perfect! I already have 2! That would save you from the labor pains and bullshit that is pregnancy!"

Damn you Carlos Dominguez!

Leaving behind Dos Amigos without a wife, we somehow had remembered Mike was supposed to give a friend of his a ride to the airport- we had decided we would all go and then just drink it up at the airport bar. However that plan was spoiled as David had decided not to wait for us and took a cab. I politely gave him a call and let him know why he was such an asshole. Then us three remembered that our roster wasnt complete- all during football season last year we had always gone out- us 3 and an african american lady, be it a Liz, a Beacie... So we tried contacting another friend to complete the roster- as she would not pick up, I left her a voice mail calmly explaining why her presence was required....


Anyways to the most ridiculous part of the day- So we head to a spot called Copper Blues and post up at the bar. We meet Emily, our bartender and victim of the tale we were about to weave.

"Where are you guys coming from?"

"We've been going at pretty much since Thursday..."

all of the sudden, Mike decides to say this;

"You know this guy was supposed to get married today!", pointing at me

" Really? you guys are joking right"

"Nope seriously. what time is it?"

"5 PM"

" I'm scheduled to be married at 5:30 PM at St Thomas Aquinas church out in the aves,  but I'm not going, I havent talked to my ex fiance since Thursday- Damn you Maggie!"

By then, another waitress, the barback, and some other customers were intrigued, and wanted to hear my story, trying to see if we were bullshitting...Mike, Ruben and me then proceed to weave this tale about how I caught her cheatin on Thursday had been so distraught I just called Mike and proceeded to breakdown. so much so I hadnt cared to charge my phone change clothes until Ruben brought me another shirt... and  how I even had a honeymoon planned to go to Costa Rica in the morning...
Mike- " Why Costa Rica? Why not Jamaica or the Bahamas?"

" Cuz Costa Rica was on sale Mike!"

 " I can only imagine how many calls I have been getting"
 "her dad was such a good guy too all the money he spent on a girl that didnt know what she had..."

" damn that Carlos!"

" I moved from San Diego. SAN DIEGO! to make a life with this woman!"

Mind you the whole time Mike, Ruben, and me are laughing and having a good time... all the manager could muster saying was;

"um Thank you for coming in to Copper Blues..."

I went to the bathroom, came back out and realized that not only had they believed every word, my "plight" had spread around like wild fire, the staff, the patrons...- they started giving me free shots, free beer, the barback ended buy me more shit... The bar manager told the comedy club manager and got front row tickets for us...We turned them down... At this point it was too late to take back the story... the barback who ended up being from Boston, took us to another bar where the story again spread and got more shots there... We decided while we could no longer take back the story, we needed to stop talking about it, and hopefully this Save Ferris campaign would end... No question, I will one day buy everyone who bought me shots on this night, drinks because the point of our tale wasn't to get free shit, it was just to tell an amazingly ridiculous story, in the name of fun...

I have banned myself from Copper Blues for a term of no less than 90 days.

Atmosphere - You Played Yourself

"I am the best at everything!"

shockingly that statement was not uttered by me, but by an even more arrogant asshole at the bar a few weeks back...

I had just finished happy hour in Tempe and had decided to stop at a local spot by my apt on 16th St, to enjoy one more round. I ended up sitting next to some guy whose birthday it was and we just started bullshitting. I decide since its his birthday, to buy him a shot of Jameson. That's when his brother makes his grand appearance and steps between his brother and me.

" It's alright- I'm his brother and I'm paying for everything tonight"

I already have this feeling this guy is trying to say something. I say that its fine the shot could be put on my tab and the three of us start bullshitting. Sports is out of this conversation as they no nothing about it, so we are just basically talking about generic stuff. The what do you do? why are you here? the waitress is hot... type of conversation. the birthday guy is too drunk to talk at this point so its pretty much his brother and me. It ends up he sells cars- he looked like the stereotypical car salesman too, but me not wanting to judge keep my usual assholeness shit talking self in check at this point.  He then proceeds to tell me how he can easily take the waitress home and blah, blah, blah, whatever. I mind my manners and just respond that he should definitely try.

" I don't need to try if I felt like it I could pick up any girl here."

alright fine dude whatever, then maybe stop talking to me and get to work, that what I'm thinking anyways.

" I'm good at pretty much everything", as he's saying this he notices that the shuffle board is open.

"you wanna play shuffle board for money? I would beat you at pool but its taken right now"

I respond that we should play for drinks or a pitcher;

" I don't waste my time for anything less than 20 bucks" and blah blah blah
 so after his continuing to insist, I decide fuck it why not and head on over to the shuffle board. He obviously hadnt realized I'm from Santucky, where shuffle board is a must skill.

After I destroy him, I don't even bother bringing up the 20.00 dollar bet and instead hear the thousand bullshit excuses this kind of guy makes when they lose at anything. In this case it was shuffleboard;

" ah this board sucks! its all uneven! all there is too much salt! its too loud in here I can't concentrate!"

Ridiculous really.

He finally goes to grab his wallet and while he's pulling it out of his pocket, he starts with this;

" That's alright I don't give a fuck about 20 bucks anyway- I make 300,000 dollars a year and dont need it like you..."- he says this loud for the whole world to hear.

I laugh. I can no longer keep my mouth shut.

"Um, No You Don't. Get the fuck outta here with that."

Apparently no one has ever called him out on his bullshit, because he is taken aback.

" Yes I do! you don't know me!"

"I know you don't make 300k a year. If thats how you pick up girls thats cool and all but..."

He has gotten upset at this point, now it was a friday and on Fridays I rock one of my awesome hip hop shirts. He's in a polo and dress pants

" I sell the most cars in Phoenix, car dealerships all want me to work for them how do you think I paid for this!"

he shoves his watch in my face; again I'm not a girl (not that girls would be impressed, but he's wasting his time) without even looking at his watch I just reply;

" Man get that fossil or timex bullshit out of my face. you know what? Fine if you make 300k a year then you should obviously be paying for my drinks" I said this right as the waitress is standing there waiting for our next order- also very quickly want to point out that the fossil comment I must admit comes from one of the few times I was forced to watch the Jersey Shore at Wes'. On one episode some gibroni or whatever buys one of the ugly girls on that show a watch- a fossil watch- and everyone makes fun of the guy because fossils are cheap according to them. I havent owned a watch since 2009. anyways just had to give credit to that show for once for giving me an asshole reply to the dude...

So as the waitress is sitting there laughing waiting for our order all he can muster is;

" I was gonna buy you your drinks but you said that so now I'm not..."

" Fine use the twenty bucks you owe me and order me a shot and a beer and get yourself whatever you want-just make sure you tip her, mr. 300k..."- I of course say this in my best obnoxious tone. The waitress continues to laugh and the guys has become red with anger;

"ask my brother he'll tell you !"- the boy is yelling at this point to where the bartender is looking over at us. I know by this point he wants to punch me. all his brother can state is that he doesnt know if he makes 300k but that he does make good money...

"next thing youre gonna tell me is that you sell the most bmws and lexus in all of phoenix-"
" I sell chevys!- if I sell 30 cars in a month thats a bad month for me- all new ones! Just look at me and look at you I look like I make money you dont"

"I dont care if I made 150,000 bucks a year I wouldnt dress like a douche and more importantly act like one."
" you don't make 150k!"
" I didnt say I did..."
" HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE!"
cuz apparently now this has turned into a dick measuring contest...
" I was gonna tell you but now that you are asking me I'm not."- just to piss him off. at this point the waitress is standing there laughing, the table next to us is listening and laughing, the birthday brother is wobbling around outside, and this guy is seriously about to punch me.

"Would you want to make more money?" I ask, deciding I should defuse the situation.
"because I work in auto insurance and if you sell as many cars as you do and if you have as much pull as you do, maybe my company and you can work something out when we start to write full coverage".

Turns out I ran into the greatest selling car salesman who has no clue what comprehensive and collision coverage is. somehow to me that doesnt make sense- even more so than his statements that he makes most of his money selling NEW chevrolets- I have known car salesmen and they tell me they make most of their money on used cars and none of the salesmen I know made over 75k. what usually happens and what this dickwad does, is that they'll have a good month get a good bonus and go about town pretending thats how much money they make EVERY paycheck- which couldnt be more farther than the truth. then you don't see them for the next few months as they try to scratch a living out of their real paychecks- I don't even know what kind of person would buy a car off this guy...

" i just pay 500 bucks and my car gets fixed" was all he could utter. he also said he made more than enough money and that he didnt need to refer his customers to our company . I reply with that Jimmy Fallon capital one commercial where he is baffled as to who wouldn't want free money, he continued to tell me i didnt make 150000 a yr the rest of the time and I ended up just replying

" Man I wish my company had a salesman LIKE YOU! We would have more policies that State Farm!"

bartender and waitress know I'm just fucking with him at this point- he closes out his tab and walks off to drive home- I can only assume he drove home in a sweet chevy cruze.

Anyways he left, bartender buys me a shot, I end up having a few too many laughing about the guy, probably offended the hot waitress and get a cab called for me. I wake up the next morning and start laughing as I begin remember this douche. I also decided to ban myself for a few weeks from this spot because I don't remember the end of the night- I know I got cut off, I know I asked for a cab, but last thing I remember was bartender dude not looking too happy... I went back a couple of weeks ago and everything is back to normal. Shockingly no sight of the richest salesman in phoenix...

You Played yourself- because this all time doosh most certainly did- I mean seriously you're trying to impress some dude with how much you make? haha Really?

Slug - April

"Um Dadda?"

"Yes?"

"Where's your table?"

"um well, I dont have one. I dont spend too much time at home and when I have dinner I usually eat dinner standing up..."

" where do you eat?"

"Why do you eat standing up?"

"Because I get tired of sitting all day...."

"why?"

And thats how the best week Ive had since moving to phoenix started. See, my kids came and stayed with me for spring break last week-not to say all the majestic magnificent people I have met here havent been great entertainment, they have- but honestly my kids are just cooler. Sorry, I hadnt seen them since February and while I dont say it aloud, it really sucks. Sundays when I'm by myself I spend alot of time thinking about them so for them to spend a whole week with me means the world. The weekend they were here we went to Tucson and Tombstone for the weekend where Issam pointed me to an aerospace museum that had alot of cool things from the blackbird to an f-14 to a moonrock, to the hight light for me, The airforce 1 that President Kennedy and Johnson rocked. The next day we took a day trip to Tombstone, a place I have always wanted to go to if only to yell;

"you tell em Hell is coming with me!"
and;
" NO!, No! No!"
 to get that you would have had to seen Tombstone the movie with Kurt Russell... Anyways if youre cool enough you'll be getting mail from there.

Anyways, it was cool that we got to do vacation things while they were here, but the best part for me was the typical things a parent gets to do with their kids, coming home from work to them , cooking them dinner, and just sitting there relaxing and watching them be kids. the normal routine a parent has with their kids. I don't get to cook for people that much and while I'm not a spectacular chef (but Roy youre an arrogant bastard that does nothing but gloat about everything you do! calm down team I know I cook better than 99.9% of you I just felt not to detract from the feeling of being with my kids)

On Saturday I had to take them to the airport and see them head out of my life again, which sucks, so much in fact this monday I had no will to work and just wanted to sit back and think on the week I just had. I have realized that its gonna take a good amount of money for me to stay in this town so far away from my kids especially if I cant get to see them monthly. That led to me rebelling for a day against my job. But today I woke up and realized I need to keep doing an awesome job being the greatest insurance professional ever to grace the industry, so I went to work.I gotta alot shit done and true to the way things work around here, I had planned on hitting the gym, but in the afternoon I got a text from Issam inviting me over for steak and beer, and well being an American and living in America I couldnt pass it up...

I have also realized that I havent blogged in a long ass time and during the same time I havent blogged I also havent been going to the gym as much as I should. So I decided that 1) I'm awesome and you all must have certainly missed living vicariously through me , and B) When I blog I workout. so this here is the start of me blogging again. while this one may have been an average blog for me (but at the same time the greatest blog you have read in a while), it is only just the start. I cant promise it will be filled with my great drunken stories-though I know which one I will relay in tomorrow blog that will make you wish you were with me again,- it will be filled with my life in this sleepy town in the desert. Los Angeles and San Diego, I may not be there for you to feel complete, but hopefully this blog will ignite you with hope that one day in the near future you feel the greatness that is my presence.

April- because its atmosphere, and its april. Also the Padres start slow in april but you watch they will win the west or my name isnt gustavo sanchez from apt 4b.

De La me - Trouble In The Water

If you feel like being nostalgic I highly suggest listening to this song whenever you get to reading this. For me, it reminds me now of times with all my friends-not just when this song came out, but over the course of the last few years-even this last one in LA. Bigfoot, Baja, the whaler, excuse the drunken writing my SLF(figure it out) reminded me I hadnt written in a while and I decided to type this up after a night with her. christ, i have been having to go back and fix the spelling on this shit but i'm gonna stop. anyways back to what i was writing. Oh yeah what was I talking about-good times. I havent written lately because well i dont have a great place to write. my computer is set up on my bar counter in my apartment and seeing as I have yet to buy bar stools i have to type this standing up. why havent i bought furniture? because money to me is better spent on things like rent, my kids and going out with friends in Phoenix. that shit can be expensive.  But I'm typing away tonight standing up cuz its not fair for the three readers i have to be kept away from my spectacular stories.  Everyone by now i'm sure has ex's that they may prefer not to think about, but everyone has to admit that there were times that were great that were spent with them. if there wasnt then you must have not picked ex's really well. this is was one of those times. back in 99 the ex and i lived in Monterey and thought it would be a good idea to buy bikes to ride along the bay. its quite a spectacular view there. anyways we had bought bike and really the reason for this story is because i was thinking of what to buy my kids for christmas this year and had though of buying them bikes. Except I thought back to when the last time i had even gotten one one and rode it. and my mind, however messed up its been since my intake of alcohol since could only think back to 1999.which is i'm sure pretty sure anyways the last time i rode one. nowadays with my kids anyways, kids arent interested in bikes for christmas i think its because there is so much other cool shit they would rather have. We had gone to a mall in Salinas and bought bikes already made so we didnt have to put them together and decided to ride them that same day. They ended up sucking big time as they had gears and i was pedaling furiously only to be going slower than molasses and being passed by joggers along the bike path on the coast. I just remember on the way back to our apartment having to get off the bike because i could walk faster holding the bike than actually being on it. haha this story is not so spectacular, But I just remember the feeling of enjoying the day with someone you cared about walking along a nice stretch of scenery and taking it all in. Its not sadness but just hoping that one day my kids will want to hop on a bike and enjoy such a time. it also I guess makes me want to make sure that whoever i'm with and whoever you all are with will get to have a moment like this if you havent alreay had one. Im not a good enough writer to describe the feeling or set the scene majestically. I guess i'm just hoping any who read this have known a feeling like this- a time with people you can reflect on and say damn that was a good time, regardless of whether youre still in touch with the people you had that moment or not. really i just wanted to post this song up again if i hadnt already which im sure i have since its one of my all time favorite songs. I guess the hope is to keep having these times with the people you have now surrounding you. does this blog make sense? probaly not. oh well i'm tired of standing already and am hitting the hay.

G'night world.

Luckyiam - For You (ft. Aceyalone & Slug)

Thursday afternoon I get a text like this;

" happy hour and/or some flat out drinking tomorrow?"
"umm, of course"
a few minutes later;
"I actually feel like drinking tonight- damn!"
" I can do that too..."
"you in for that?"
" Is my name not Roy?"

Haha and so began the latest drink fest... a quick run down from all that I can remember...
thursday- Now Del had once told me a story about a girl who was born and raised from Iowa but went and lived in England for like a week or something and when she came back home she all the sudden had a british accent, that 10 years or something later she still has.

Guess who drunk roy ran into on Thursday? And guess who said this at one point in the night when he realized who he was talking too...
"OH! OH! YOURE THE FAKE BRITISH CHIC FROM IOWA WHO WENT TO ENGLAND ONCE AND CAME BACK WITH THE ACCENT!"
hahaha that did not go over well apparently. anyways so an older native looking lady starts playing pool by herself. So I decided to go ahead and bet her I could beat her. we played a best of three. I, if you still don't realize am great at everything- except tennis, cuz well tennis is lame. So I of course let her win the first game, destroy her the second game and let her take the lead in the last one. Then I calmly and very badassly set myself up beautifully and make a good 5 ball run. all I have is an easy shot to make the 8ball and win. But I decide to pull a Mr. Mom and lose on purpose, which she can totally tell and gives me shit for the rest of the night. this is important because I am pretty sure she roofied me, as I don't really  remember the rest of the night.

Friday
me;
"even after coffee I'm still a solid .10 I swear..."
Then I had to go to this hispanic women's conference downtown- which was cool and there were a lot of latin ladies that quite honestly were impressed by me. why? cuz I'm me. Handed out the business card, shook some hands, kissed some babies and it was time to head to the tilted kilt to resume what I have decided to term as a celebration of freedom.

"you're too tall to be mexican"
"Does this have enough white people for you Roy?"
" Youre such a white mexican"
haha this is the shit I'm getting for being taller than everyone else.
 So after the tilted kilt we met up with some more people at Humble Pie, proceeded to drink decide to go downtown again, hit up this place called Hanny's where some guy did a poor job of flushing down his bag of coke, found this spot called the Matador, where we apparently did not have the right amount of tattooes required to be patrons of this establishment, and ended up at this place called Copper Blues.Now copper blues has this Sasquatch type of drink called the Moscow Mule. Someone decided it would be a good idea to order me a couple of these, which apparently led to me not remembering much of the rest of the night- apologies to the married couple next to us, my bad, haha.
" What did he say? cuz I am a southpaw!"
" She should be serving me some Pho!"

Saturday;

 this conversation occurred

" Man, Roy, I'm not like you guys I don't do this normally... I mean I know it doesnt look like it but I'm a healthy guy- I eat broccolli, fruits, and grilled chicken and stuff... maybe we should just take it easy today since we are gonna go at it sunday for football again..."
"youre the one that made plans to watch UFC tonight- plus whats the point of of not drinking tonight? I mean we know whats gonna happen sunday anyways... plus we are helping him through this rough time, haha"
" you're right..."
So then this guy proceeds to have us do shots of jaeger all night- We would pick a fighter and if he lost we would have to do a shot... I'm not very good at this game...
Back to Zipps we went....
"You know I am Herpes free! although I must admit I have battled chlamydia..."
" Did I mention I am Herpes free? and I can cook?"
" I am smart as fuck and am clap free!"

hahaha somehow these lines dont get the ladies...

Sunday morning after we locate our vehicles and re form like voltron again...

" Next time you break up with your girlfriend, dont call me!"


"Actually Roy its your fault, if you had gone out on a date, I wouldnt have been here, he wouldnt have had anybody to hang out with, maybe he wouldnt have gone  So I blame you..."

" I thought you were smart roy but then you said Columbus was portugese..."

" I just said he wasnt spaniard guy..."


This is what happens when 3 cool guys run amok in Phoenix. excellent weekend.

" We need rules and regulations! I cant drink over 200 ozs AND eat- I just cant! we need to set boundaries! eating mexican after these outings must go! No dennys either- I'm trying to watch my figure!"

my plea fell on deaf ears so now I must go to the gym and hike squaw peak.

Slug, Acey, and lucky, for you.

cuz she's changing the way September tastes...

Phonte - The Good Fight [prod. 9th Wonder]

Take a moment to read the title of this blog "Phonte- the good fight PRODUCED BY 9TH WONDER. When I first saw this it brought a smile to my face. Then I heard the track and it brought a tear to my eye. See they had broken up as the group called Little Brother and at times they had lashed out at each online with regards to the break up, I thought they may never work together again. I'm not even sure if they settled all their differences but friendship can and should withstand the tribulations of business or a work environment- if you are a true friend anyways. and so bam, they come out with this track. I didnt even need to see the liner notes to know. Anyways its a shame if you dont give this track a listen- seriously this goes beyond the usual "my music is better than yours" b.s. I preach...Legendary Adult Contemporary Hip Hop right here.  About a week after a friend hit me up with this album and its still all I'm listening to. Its been a solid couple of years that an album has done that. I got excited like a little kid at christmas and decided to share the link with some people.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a friends birthday party out here at an Irish Pub. Other than Issam, Del and Brandy I really didnt know anybody. But I'm me and you obviously have first hand knowledge of my greatness. So after everyone I actually knew left, I ended up hangin out with a couple of new people. Now the plan was to go only four rounds of jameson and pints. That number doubled and I had a fuzzy recollection of how I got home. I knew I had taken a cab with the people I had met up, and knowing me figured I may have said somethings to offend (you guys obviously know this about me too, haha) But having just met them I had no way to contact them to verify. So I shoot Mike a text asking if he had been in the cab and after he replied that he hadnt,I had to ask if he knew if/how badly I had offended his friends in the cab. I then just left it at that, and figured if something bad had transpired I would hear about it. But this last friday I meet up with everybody at some other local spot and bam the people I had taken a cab are there... I walk in and they immediately start laughing. One of the girls is from Nigeria, and I had apparently dubbed her team Africa, the cab driver I dubbed John Lennon, and I basically had made the cab ride home the highlight of the night. I of course had the Cab driver drive thru a mexican food place (and later a jack in the box, haha), but I also has to take a leak so I hop out of the cab and have this exchange with the cab driver;


" Alright John, I'm gonna go take a piss by that tree but you know what to tell them..."
" Um what should I be telling them?"
I give him a serious look and grab him by the shoulder to let him know of my seriousness I guess...
" Tell them that I went to take a piss and that you're Jesus Christ."
and apparently I just start dying laughing as I go take a piss and everyone in the cab is dying of laughter.

I guess another cab passenger was from North Korea...
" Oh you're from NORTH korea? I'll try not to piss you off so you don't blow us up..."
and after every ridiculous statement I made in the cab, I guess I would follow up with
"AM I Wrong! or Am I wrong!"
which on friday became the catch phrase for everyone... I'm a trendsetter out here. Met up with Ruben (the guy who let me know of this epic cab ride, which I guess was over an hour long), good solid guy. He let me know that it felt good to laugh so hard after such a shitty week at work. Thats what the weekends are for.

Friday night another buddy ended up having to crash at my apt and after I got back to my apartment saturday morning from opening up the office for the contractors, was already awake and states to me;

" Man I woke up not knowing where I was, without a car, and my phone is dead..."

"haha man thats been my typical weekend morning since I moved to phoenix..."

Saturday I hit up Chandler for the first time to go to this octoberfest, but had to wake up at 6am to get back to the office to let some other contractors in at the office. Met up with some more new cool people while they were being hounded by some not so lovely cougars.
" Roy your mission right now if you choose to accept it,  is to disengage us from these women..."
was the first thing said to me after our introductions.
"Roy whats the first thing that comes to mind if I introduce myself as Everado?"
" unicorns frolicking in a desert landscape with rainbows shooting out?"
which I believe I also put on one of the postcards I mailed out a couple of weeks ago- I still cant believe there are no unicorns in Arizona...

True to form, I woke up at Issam's this morning and got droppped off at Zipps where my car was. My phone is still alive though. Another excellent Arizona weekend. Enjoy your Monday.