Always Coming Back Home To You

So the majority of you know by now that my time in LA is coming to an end. It was a brief 8 months here filled with good times, more struggles, more failures, more setbacks, but most of all, more experiences. In the end, I guess I got what I initially thought was the reason I made this move in the first place; a job specific to my very narrow skill of auto insurance underwriting. Sure its gonna take place in Phoenix, but had I not moved up here, this opportunity wouldn't have presented itself. I say that this is what I originally thought I came up here for- I had convinced myself this was the sole reason to move up here, to join the auto club kick ass there and move up- but as the months passed I found that that really wasn't the only reason. I'll just say it was a mixture of escapism and unrealistic expectation.

I just got back from San Diego yesterday and have up until now called it home. I guess in a sense it will always be home- it was where I was born and raised- but  unlike most people that go home, I have nothing really to go home to. Yeah my kids are there but its well established now that they have their own home, with my ex. Its not my home. I have family and friends I love there, but its getting to be that point in life when no matter how close you have been, friends have to do their own thing and you just can't expect them to drop everything when you roll into town. Also its just not the same I guess when you have to figure out where you'll be staying when you head home. I mean is that really home at that point?

Moms just moved back into our old hood and that isn't sitting right with me. That's all I'll say about that. Just glad this job came when it did so hopefully down the line I will be able to do something about that as well. Right now I am just glad that this job will have me making a significant contribution to my kids again. The least I could do, I mean my friends used to joke with me and try to have my kids call me by first name instead of dad, and this weekend I could sense just how close I was/am coming to that point. I hadnt seen them in over a month and when I saw them- and I guess one day when some of you have kids, you will get this- they looked so grown and old. I seriously felt like I had missed out on their entire lives, even though its really been only about 1 yr of it. a year still is too much. Basically what I'm fighting to avoid is to become that long distance dad that you only know of because he sends money. I gotta figure that out before its too late.  On a cool note though is that this job is gonna keep my streak of taking them to Disneyland every year. I have taken them every year since Danny was born- 11 years. that wasn't gonna happen with the AAA pay. But now, we have already planned to go during the holiday season- The nightmare before Christmas is one of our favorite movies and the haunted mansion at that time of year is the one ride we always make sure to hit up.

So back to home, where is it now? LA. This realization has everything to do with one guy-Wes. There is no combination of words, no exaggerated statement, no majestic prose, that will ever fully explain the gratitude I have. He probably won't like the fact I am bringing this up, but it needed to be written. He made LA my home. Not just by providing a roof and a room, but by making me feel welcome, never showing like I was intruding on his life, making sure I was included in the happenings of LA... He's like Dorothy Mantooth, haha.
Don't get me wrong I love me some SD and I do have a comfort level there I dont have up here, but as of now LA is home  and  so when I'm in Phoenix and say I'll be going home, it'll be to LA. Unless he changes the locks, haha.

As for the job, I still have a long way to go, but when my new boss said "Good luck to all of us-Lets go get rich!", it got me thinking of the possibilities... Heading to Phoenix to rise like the bird of its namesake hopefully... As for a last night out I was thinking of C & Os- heard so much about it I figure that would be a cool spot to go for anyone that wants to bid me farewell to meet up at for dinner and some vino...