Faheem

Saturday I'm walking back to my car from the Albertson's in Santee. I am behind a father and son. The father is dressed all business- suit and tie- the son, who is about 7 or 8 is dressed like a typical little kid. They are heading towards an Acura TL and the son goes to what must be his customary spot in the back seat behind his dad. The dad is already in the car as the little kid is opening his door and as he is about to get in he stops to gather up some courage and goes ;
"Hey dad can I PLEASE ride in front?"
a few moments pass, the little kid is anxiously waiting for his dad's response. I didn't hear his dad's reply but realize what it was when the little kid throws up his hands in victory, yells "YES!", slams the  back driver side door, and races around to the front passenger door.

I got a kick out of that but anyways back to drunken retardeness...

10051 Lafe Dr- I am sure during your high school years there was that one house where all your friends would congregate to party. For my friends it was definitely here. So many entertaining stories- I don't know where to start. Everyone has had an episode or two here- my parents included. My parents went out of town alot especially during the summer for the weekend, so it was the easy choice to hang out at.  It was the place where if I woke up in my bed not knowing what happened the night before I would have to send a mass text to all the attendees I remembered being there.
"I will just go ahead and apologize for whatever one of my actions or words may have offended you last night..."
the response would normally be laughter followed by
"we had a good time- although you did call some stranger a whore..." or
"we had a blast but the guy you kept talking shit to all night left early for some reason..." or
"you maybe should get help." haha.
sometimes I want to get all the intel before such obligatory apologizing needs to begin;
" So guys great night last night huh?"
Or some other type of drivel to get conversation going. If people didn't respond within a reasonable time I would just assume I had done something offensive and would proceed with the apology. I wish I wasnt such a dick when drunk haha. Oh well I'm striving to work on this still- no seriously I am haha. It just hasn't been coming along as quickly as I had planned...

I have had a lot of run ins with tequila- to the point I can no longer take but a couple of shots of it before I don't remember the night.The first such run in occurred here. A few friends and me were fishing for alcohol at the local food 4 less, when one of them decided it would be a good idea if him and me split a bottle of tequila. Being ignorant of what good tequila was and wanting to be cheap, we decide of good ol' cuervo gold. The two guys who eventually agreed to buy us the alcohol, decided to keep some money for themselves and got us the silver instead of the gold. Told us there was really no difference just that they added color. Fine, whatever. This might have been my third time drinking ever by the way. Just thought I would mention this now before I forget. So we head back to the pad and have a few beers prior to beginning our shots. We have a shot and comment amongst ourselves that hey its not that bad. We have another shot. and another shot. and another shot. We are thinking we are cool cuz we are doing shots of tequila and it doesnt seem to be fazing us at all. We speed up even more. In less than 15 minutes I would say we are done with the bottle. Danny and Issam I believe are looking on just watching it all unfold, knowing something is gonna happen but not sure what.

This is where my wandering career began. I decide it would be a good idea if we all went for a walk. I would like to point out that the shorts I was wearing required me to wear it with a belt and for this walk I had forgotten to put it on. So about 4 of us end up wandering the streets of Santee. Now officially drunk. How do I know? Because the last part of the night I remember is reaching up for a tree maybe a block from my house on ironwood. The rest of the walk? Nope. What I do remember is getting bitch slapped (by D) in my shower, only wearing my underwear and cold water hitting my face. Apparently we had gone about half a mile away from the house, my shorts had fallen down and I had tripped and passed out in the street. Two of my friends were so drunk they just walked back without me, while the one realized there would be hell to pay if someone were to find me, passed out, shorts down. So he runs back to go get my brother and Issam because he can't carry me by himself. They jumped into Issam's ride- a sweet impala by the way- and by the grace of god find me before someone else had. When it was discovered that the two friends had bailed and came back, their lives are basically threaten and they also were very close to getting thrown in the pool. the guy who split the bottle of tequila ended up throwing up and as more punishment, Danny got them up at 7 in the morning and kicked them out of the house.

Wait there is more- there was the time Issam made the tactical error as a Pizza Hut manager and got me the big bottle of Gin the night before I was supposed to open as the cook in the morning. A friend of mine, Dan and me decided it would be a good idea to drink it all in one night. I ended up trying to either get up from the bar counter or sit down next to the bar counter when I lost my balance (for obvious reasons), slipped and hit my head on the counter. I was out cold. I woke up to with a blanket and 3 hours late for work. It took Issam calling my house to finally get me up. I also had a huge bump on my forehead. I show up for work and he had already advised them of the purchase that had been made for me the night before. I show up do about 5 minutes of work and get sent home.

One time we were there having a good time and my dad asked all of us there if we could move the camper shell back a little bit so he could fit his truck into the rv parking area. we just looked at him and said sure sure no problem. about a half hour later we are all in the back yard when we hear this big as crash sound and see the camper shell topple. Pops had gotten tired of waiting and basically rammed the camper shell with his truck. My friends were shocked and scared a little bit, thinking my dad might be putting an end to this night early. I knew he wouldnt but would just say something snippy.
"You guys didnt feel like moving it so screw it I did it myself..."
he goes back inside and we just start dying laughing.
The Hennesey and Alize episode where one of us (not me) drank the bottle of hen lost his balance and went head first into the garage door...
The time Nathan warned somebody not to say another word or else he would get slapped and sure enough he followed through on his promise...
The time my moms got so outta of control that when she saw me she proclaimed I was adopted...
While being small packaged by Brandon calmly responding to getting manhandled by stating
" Oh Brandon you're so tough. you are choking me..."
When Dan for some reason thought it would be a good Idea to pick up Hugo and throw him in the pool.
The time Kurt and me theorized an M-80 would sound louder if we threw it in an empty pool only to see it explode and cause a big hole in the vinyl...
During High School grad night when I decided to eat nothing but carrots and then drink a 40 in one drink...

The time someone other than myself decided to drink a bottle of Avalanche and ending up passed out in the bed of his truck, where I decided it would be a good idea to hose him down (hey at least it was summer)


The thursday night poker tourneys

The weekend pool tourneys

The birthday parties, 4th of july's, NYEs, and every other time we decided we got together because the parents weren't home or we just included them in the party.
The night for some reason back in his youth one of the cousins had a penchent for grabbing crotchal regions hence the temporary nickname of dickgrabber
"your little cousin coming over?"
"which one?"
"dickgrabber."
"oh yeah he's always there. just lets not laugh when he goes to grab one so he understands its not really that cool..."
Wes never quite remembering where I lived and the one time he straight up parked in the driveway of the house next door, got out of the car and started heading towards the door. it wasn't until he realized I was still in the car laughing that he was at the wrong house...

Yeah sometimes someone would end up upset and interrupt the night by either running down the street crying or wanting to battle someone to the death but never really anything major. It got to the point neighbors from across the street or on the next street over would hear the party and just cruise on over. Man its been tough trying to remember because these are from so long ago. If any of you remember anything, feel free to comment here or on the FB- I know I am missing way more than these...